Invitation says ‘No Presents’

[RetroRay]

Evenin’ all,
My daughter has been invited to her first birthday party. The invitation says ‘No presents’, but I feel a bit mean rocking up with nothing to unwrap at his party.
Would it be rude to turn up with a small gift despite being told not to?
Apologies for the pathetic question. I don’t want to offend the parents if there’s a specific reason they’ve asked for no gifts 😂

I didn't want him to be overloaded
I didn't want money for him
I also didn't want...
A woman bought me a present and I loved her for it

And people thinking about your son annoyed you eh...

There are some parts of parenthood you have to suck up. Plastic tat is the least of it. Unless the kid has some kind of additional need and doesn’t enjoy presents, it’s mean to deprive your kid of the gift opening from their friends.

We didn’t suck up plastic tat. Our kids have survived to adulthood 😁

People just dismissing gifts as tat are very ungrateful. We always put most of their gifts away for a rainy/ poorly day . It’s amazing what a difference it makes when you can get a bagful of stickers/ colouring / arts stuff/ puzzles etc out a few months later . We also sent some of the gifts over to Grandmas for extra entertainment there.

@DeskJotter , I can think of friends who have exchanged books they considered unsuitable for something they'd like the child to read. They're the parents, and it is up to them. What might not be controversial to you might be to someone else.

Survived? Are children just meant to survive? Here’s me thinking they could maybe enjoy a little as well…

I think those saying it's mean 'because the child is little' have it the wrong way round, and @YourWildAmberSloth is quite right to have vetoed presents at 3, 4 and 5 but allowed them later. Little kids are the ones who tend to have the big whole-class parties because they haven't formed smaller friendship groups yet, so there would be more (and more generic) presents. And they also tend to be more generally oblivious and lack the stamina to open - and give a shit about - a large amount of presents. When it would be mean is when the kid is 7 and fully aware that people get you presents on your birthday, and their friends are old enough to put some thought into helping choose the present.

Oh come on. They thrived. Better?!

What is daft about it?

👏

… and then to accuse someone of projecting when they point out the disrespect - utterly bonkers!

if the parents are trying to avoid crap, a balloon is not going to help. They are so environmentally unnecessary.

I agree.

I’m happy to buy presents but when it’s a whole class party for a child I don’t know, I am really just guessing and there’s every chance they won’t like what I randomly choose. When I say randomly choose I don’t mean I don’t make an effort and just grab any old thing, I try to find something good. But my judgement of that is based on what my DD likes, so it’s random in terms of whether that child will like it.

How on earth could it possibly be ungrateful to not want to receive gifts, when you specifically said you didn't want them?

People ignoring my wishes when it comes down to my child, annoys me - it should annoy any decent parent. And of course I'm stating what I thought or what I wanted, because as a parent that's what you do when your kids are that young - you base your decisions on what you think. If you ask a child if they want 100 presents for their birthday, they are going to say yes. DS is not some deprived child who was having a joyless birthday. He was having a big party the day before his birthday. He received a lot of presents from family and friends so had plenty to open on the day (his main gifts were a bike, a scooter and train set, he had books, clothes plus approximately 20 presents including Lego sets, games, from family and friends). They had asked what to get him, so I knew what was coming. I (yes me again, the adult raising the child who happens to know him better than anyone) could foresee the problems another 20+ presents would cause - birthdays are commercial enough, especially as they get older - his school birthdays have been different.

Same here - my mum will send me money for DD just because she’s got my details and not DD’s. I think it’s just a convenience thing here though. Our family do this as they trust we will transfer to our DC’s accounts for saving or spend it on them somehow. I’m sure the dad in question would have done the same but I still think it adds an extra layer of cheeky fuckery.

I put this on my child's birthday invitations. He is autistic and doesn't like opening gifts. He has loads of stuff and we are trying to declutter. He gets loads of gifts from family and for me it genuinely means no gifts (or money!). A card would be lovely.

No presents means no presents so I wouldn't bring one. I'd stick £5 in a card if you can't resist doing something.

There really is, it’s like MN bingo

My ds5 loves a bath bomb, has done since he was about 3 loves to choose or make his own. He likes the super hero ones. Not 'ridiculous' at all

Kids get very bored with it very quickly. And parents end up with a pile of plastic tat, often with nowhere to put it.

When we said no presents it was because our daughter would get a pile of stuff from relatives. She got stressed out opening more than a few at a time.

A balloon? As a present? To a four year old! As opposed to plastic tat? Great idea.

Having said that, my 4yo was so entranced by the rainbow helium number 4 I got him that he almost forgot to join in his actual party because he was too busy standing next to it clutching the string.

It's literally two words.

Which one of them can you not understand?

Always give a present

Do you always ignore a direct request?