Invitation says ‘No Presents’

[RetroRay]

Evenin’ all,
My daughter has been invited to her first birthday party. The invitation says ‘No presents’, but I feel a bit mean rocking up with nothing to unwrap at his party.
Would it be rude to turn up with a small gift despite being told not to?
Apologies for the pathetic question. I don’t want to offend the parents if there’s a specific reason they’ve asked for no gifts 😂

Just do as they ask. I'm surprised at some posters saying they would give a gift regardless - not your circus, not your monkeys. Everyone parents differently, and if the way in which they parent isn't abusive or harmful in any way then it's not your place to override that.

We asked for no presents once as we were about to move continent. I hadn’t told all the parents from dc’s nursery class as it was none of anyone’s business.

I wouldn't give cash at this age - the parents might pocket it or decide what it's spent on.
I would take a box of sweets.

or a puppy

Me too.

‘The parents might pocket it or decide what it’s spent on’? For a four year old? Clearly they should let him toddle about with his little pockets full of crumpled tenners buying sweets.

for that reason cash is not a good present at that age

No you wouldn't. You'd be thinking of yourself and your own discomfort. So to alleviate that you pretend you're thinking about the child so you can disregard the request and feel more comfortable.

Obviously the parents will decide what it’s spent on, or heavily guide it. If you buy a present, that’s you deciding what it’s spent on, but that’s ok.

I wouldn’t give cash either, but not for that reason.

I don't think it's awful. They probably just don't want 30 random (quite possibly cheap tat) items cluttering up their house. I'm sure they still get presents they actually want and have asked for.

How dare the parents of a 4 year old decide what to spend the money on 😂

A box of sweets would be even worse imo, he will have just had a party with cake and treats. I don’t know anyone with 3 & 4 year olds who gives them traditional sweets these days. It’s a bit 90s.

I’d do cash and write in the card that it’s ice cream money or holiday spends or something.

Why would limiting health conditions stop me giving a child a present? What conditions are you envisaging? An allergy to a book or lego set?

Our four year old loves bath bombs, doesn't yours?

No, I'd be thinking of the kid. Are you projecting?

The arrogance and entitlement to just ignore the parents wishes about their child. 🙄

I had a whole class party with all the nursery kids when my DS was 3. He got 25 presents, in addition to all the things he'd already got from extended family. It would have been overwhelming for him and he wouldn't have played with all of them as there would have been too many at once. I opened them all when he was in bed, made a note of who'd given what so I could thank the parents, then re-fastened the wrapping and gave them to him over the next few weeks. But I didn't give him the ones that I knew weren't suitable, or that he wouldn't like. I kept them for regifting to other children, or saved them for when they'd be useful (e.g. colouring books for holidays, craft set for when he was older and more into craft). When he was 4 we had a smaller party with his actual friends who had a better idea of what he would like, so we did give him all those presents.

We’ve been to ‘no presents’ parties, almost everyone turns up with a small gift, usually something small that’ll be used up. Mostly sticker books, colouring books or craft kits when it’s time to open gifts! Someone put stickers in a card once which I thought was a fun idea for a ‘no present’ party.

The book might not be what the parent wants the child to read and have you never trod on a Lego brick in bare feet?

Eh? What 4 year old does not get excited by a ball fizzing and changing the colour of the bath? Bath bombs are a great gift!

Which part of "no presents" is unclear? Parents don't want their child to be spoilt, oir given a pile of crap. No doubt they will gave already had presents from family and friends, anyway. The birthday child is having all the fun of a party, with their friends - what more do they need? If you feel obligated to spend money, make a donation to a local children's charity.

Two of my DC went to a no presents party.
One was when the birthday child was 9, his cousin had leukaemia and he wanted donations for the ward his cousin was on in lieu of his own gifts. We donated and gave the birthday boy his favourite sweets.
The other was a good friend of DD aged 6 who was, according to DD cross and sad that Mummy said no presents because her friends would bring too many toys. We got her a bookshop voucher and some colouring pens.

These parties are common where I live, and guests generally comply. It’s considered rude / annoying not to do so. A (handmade) card is sufficient.

Oh dear, I'm a no present person but I don't think that translates to no joy. I honestly spend a lot of time curating my child's presents and then we get ridiculous amounts of stuff from family. I don't mind presents for my older child who has a small party but the younger one we want to have big all class parties for maximum fun and I honestly can't cope with all the stuff. It's taken me years to declutter my bloody house and I'm still drowning. Some things we have really loved are home made cards or pictures and little hand made things like bracelets etc. it's adorable. I personally love to give books and I try to be environmentally conscious so it's my personal nightmare to receive 25+ toys. Why not just respect their wishes?