i am sorry but a 4 year old does not have 30 friends

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tea in the middle then more playing then the cake and present opening at the end

Most little kids love party games. You could hire a bouncy castle, you can get little ones for smaller children, they normally cost about 25 quid a day. In my opinion, its the party bags that can cost alot. my ds has had some very impressive ones of late, that are literally crammed full of toys and sweets. When we had his party last week, i felt i had to compete. For the 22 party bags, it must have cost me about 40 pounds to fill them, plus i had to buy two doctor who birthday cakes.

cheers guys - sometimes it feels as if everyone has gone so fancy - I'm sure my DD will jsut be excited that people are coming to her house and there's a cake so anything extra will be a bonus I hope. there's plenty of time for her to have 'party envy' when she's older..

ooh - and definatley not doing party bags - total waste of time an dmoney - I think we need to take a stand against them..

dd has her 4th birthday party soon and we are having a friend to run the party who's just set up her own business. I've ended up spending twice what I planned to (or really can afford to) but she is getting less spent on her presents from us instead. We have 23 coming which is all of her class mates from nursery. It seems to be the norm that all the kids are invited to all the parties. I'd assumed that a 3rd would decline but only 2 out of 25 have.

The hall hire was cheap, the party entertainment including food and party bags are £10 each and we just have to get the cake which will be from Sainsburys or Tesco. Way more than I wanted to spend and she knows it's a one off.

When it comes to party bags don't buy normal sweets - put in a few gold coins (ie foil wrapped choc ones!) Little kids think they're magic. Not for under 3s of course.
Also put the cake in the party bag - wrapped in a napkin - they will have had far too much to eat already. Then all you need is a cheap novelty and you've got a bag full for under a quid. Who needs elaborate party bags - it's ridiculous. You can stop doing them altogether at about 8 or 9.

A well stocked party bag needn't be expensive. A trip to our local Poundland got us:
Punchball balloons - 10 for £1
Small tubs of bubbles: 9 for £1
football whistles on strings: 8 for £1
Picture Erasers: 20 for £1
Pencils: 20 for £1
Holographic Stickers: - bagfull of sheets which could be cut down into smaller squares - enough for about 30 for £1
So 6 items in the bag for about 45p/person

We did ds's party for 20 at the local sports centre - £65 for two hours including a bouncy castle, 2 people to supervise and organise games (big parachute, etc), and a seperate room for party tea.

Even with a cake and all the food and drink added in the total was probably still inside £100.

Next year we're probably going to do an outdoor activity party at the local Country Park - again £65 for 20 including people to organise and supervise, so looking at a similar total figure.

My top tip would be make partents leave!! I know this seems initially v scary but beleive me they are better behaved without them and you feel you can take charge and give directions more. With the parents there you feel they should discipline their own children, but often they don't and you are left silently screaming.

Also I agree that constant games and activities are ESSENTIAL. A free for all is wild and chaotic, and I actually don't think the children really enjoy it.

Too many children and you can't play games properly. The least we've had is 8 the most 20. At the last party I had a whistle which worked well ( it was a world cup party). We always have a theme. We've had superheros, cowboys and Indians and world cup. Ds1 is now 6 and next year wants just a trip out with friends. Suits me as now ds2 turn. First party at 4 and he wants a pirate party. Dh and I also dress up which the children love.

We've had one party in a hall which was great as the house was not turned upside down. But I think I'm old fashioned in an Enid Blyton sort of way and I love them around the table at home with party hats on, and lashings of ginger beer!!

Totally agree on the evilness of party bags.

iliketrees the advantage of party bags is that when you give them, the children know it's time to go and will allvamoose at once!
A nice idea I have seen is to buy something from the pound shop - colouring set, model aeroplane, some piece of girly tat - and wrap it up, doing boys and girls ones if necessary, then hand to departing guests - saves all the faff of bags and plastic bits and choc bars and balloons (tho I have to say my kids love all that).
Party at home is fine tho, if you have a good space it is really nice.

Riab in answer to yr question, it's horses for courses, isn't it? No-one in our house drinks (any amount) or smokes so I guess we save money over the year. Also I'm not in the habit of buying the kids random pressies or sweets. Not saying you do any of these things but some people certainly do (and why not? It's their choice).
OTOH my children love to plan and talk about their birthday parties a logn way ahead and yes, they do remember them as a special day. I guess I spent about £100+ on DD's 5th party with 30 children in a hall, games and prizes and food and nice party bags. While I take your point, we're not going without food or books at home to pay for it.

glad some agree about the sheer awfulness of party bags but prob will do something similar fortyplus ie cake, sweets from pinata (if I can find one which isn't pumpkin), gold coins. But might also pop to Poundland too lunarsea if my nerve fails me and I think the kids won't like me - we are new to the area! Any good party games apart from pass the parcel, pinata, tail on donkey, musical chairs - any suggestions guys?!

The best ever game we played was blindfold jelly eating! It's hysterical (if rather unhygienic!) Just get a small low table (standing on large area of old newspaper)and get a blindfolded child to kneel either side. A large bowl of jelly is placed on the table and the kids have to feed each other (not themselves) with the jelly. Use soft plastic 'baby' type spoons if you're worried they'll hurt each other with metal ones.
This is also a great game for Halloween Parties. I could tell you about 'learning to fly a broomstick' if you like

Once had a party with a surfing theme - gave every kid a tie die t-shirt. They're about £1 each for a plain white t-shirt and about £4 for machine dye. Wash the t-shirts without conditioner beforehand and while they're still wet (very important) get the kids to wind elastic bands tightly round them. Either a little 'bunch' of fabric for a 'rosette' effect or put the band right round the chest or an arm for a cool 'wavy band' effect. Don't forget to write each child's name on the label of their shirt.
Then the t-shirts go o a hot wash while you play some games (limbo maybe?)& have tea. At the end the kids get to take the bands off and see how their creations have turned out.
We still have to do this every summer & my 2 wear their t-shirts just as often as the 'designer labels'.

Sorry - should be tie dye of course!

musical statutes is a good game

sleeping lions ditto

if they are little and don't get a chair to sit on they cry....

please no party bags

cheers fortyplus - jelly sounds interesting but some of mine are v little (2 and under) could get a bit hairy - what on earth is learnign to fly a broomstick?? tie dye is far too creative for me..

To avoid tears and feelings of failure requiring psychotherapy later in life, instead of 'being out' for being last in musical bumps and statues, I choose the quickest to sit down each time or the stillest statue each time, with a liitle prize (1 sweet) going into their prize bag each time to take home later. This does seem to avoid alot of potential for tears&tantrums, and gives you lots of opportunity for manipulating everyone getting a prize.

ooh yes, Tinkerboo that is the key info i forgot to add. sorry

My ds had loads at his party last year. If you include all his preschool and nursery friends, neighbours who he loves playing with, cousins, my friends kids who he sees all the time and my nct friends children who we also see regularly then its easily 30.

I also ask the grandparents and aunties and fake aunties! They are my friends with no kids.

the key to musical bumps and statues is to get TWO of them out at once, each time - makes them feel less picked on.

ditto two parcels passing at the same time speeds the whole thing up.

good game is "wrap the mummy" - a couple of teams, each gets a mummy (that would be YOU) and a couple of loo rolls. they wrap you in the loo rolls, turning you into.... a mummy! hurrah. they think it is hilarious (6s and under).

iliketrees - 2 would be far too young to learn to fly a broomstick, but for around 6 upwards it's brilliant! My 2 still talk about it! Apparently they really did believe they were flying!
First, you need a broomstick... toy one is fine.
Start off giving them all a chat about how you learned to fly a broomstick when you were little and you are prepared to share the secret with them but they have to wear a blindfold. Some will drop out at this stage, but tell them they'll have to wait outside the room with all the ones who are going to do it.
The kids come in one at a time, blindfolded. Lead the child to where you have prepared a strong plank of wood resting on something at each end - it needs to be just far enough off the ground so that the 2 strong men that you have positioned at each end can get their fingers underneath it.
So now you have blindfolded child, mounted on broomstick, standing on the plank.
This is where it's up to you to give a convincing 'flying lesson'! Start off with the grip, tell them they have to lean back to go up, forwards to go down, tell them to concentrate very hard and repeat after you the magic words... anything you like! Tell them they must think about feeling as light as a feather etc... Then the men VERY gently lift the plank SLIGHTLY and move it around very gently - don't lift it more than an inch or 2 because of the obvious risk of child losing balance & falling. You have to give convincing oohs and ahhs 'Yes - that's IT!... not too high now!' etc etc - you get the picture. Then you tap them gently on the head with a book and say - down a bit! - that was the ceiling!!!!
Then the plank comes to rest and the child steps off. MAGIC!!

fab - i love the broomstick trick. thanks for the tips about not making anyone feel like a loser - I was worried about that. Thanks