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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

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Original poster

i am sorry but a 4 year old does not have 30 friends

173 replies

cod · 15/10/2006 19:13

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twelveyeargap · 16/10/2006 15:29

Yes, but I didn't think of it til it happened. As I said before, we specifically asked for no presents the following year and it went down very well.

LunarSea · 16/10/2006 15:31

Happens here too. Not only do you get some "no replies" but some who accept and then don't turn up withut a word of explanation. Even more annoying are the ones who accept and then on the day decide that they're not coming - when it's too late to offer anyone else an invitation and you end up paying for them anyway. Especially maddening when you discover that it's because child A has decided at the last minute not to come, so children B and C won't come without her. No way would I let ds do that if someone else's parents were obviously paying for him to have a place at a party - though I do have to say that so far it's the girls who are worse for this.

I do get the impression though that a lot of people just don't understand RSVP - an extra note to parents saying please let us know by so we can confirm numbers and organise catering seems to work better than just RSVP on the invite, or even reply slips. Also found that giving a mobile number and saying replies by text seems quite effective.

LunarSea · 16/10/2006 15:34

Frieda - it never is 30 presents though because some don't bring any, and any sets of siblings only ever bring one between them.

Frieda · 16/10/2006 15:36

Sorry, twelveyear - wasn't aimed at you, just a general observation. I remember hearing a little girl of about six talking about her upcoming party on the way to school and how she was inviting everyone in her class and adding "and that means I'll get thirty presents!" And I thought, materialistic little so-and-so.
I think it's a great idea to request no present - 30 is just far too many.

...And don't get me started on the sparkly knitwear...

PS By the way, our cubs do firelighting. And we had the marshmallows sandwiched between biscuits (must be a Wiltshire thing, QPH . Bit hairy for the adults, as it was quiet a windy night, but they seemed to enjoy it and miraculously no one got singed.

Original poster

cod · 16/10/2006 16:02

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twelveyeargap · 16/10/2006 16:02

Don't worry! I didn't mean to sound offended; I'm not! Whoops.

I know what you mean about the materialistic kids. In Ireland, when kids are doing their First Communion (Catholic Church), you often hear kids going "oh I can't wait for all the money I'm going to get from my aunt/ uncle/ granny". Nobody seems to tell them it's a solemn religious occasion, just like kids having parties aren't reminded that the party is to entertain the guests, not them! (Or that's how I see it anyway....)

EnidVorhees · 16/10/2006 16:04

dd2 had 25, she had about 20 presents

fab I say

so what

birthdays are about presents when you are 4

Original poster

cod · 16/10/2006 16:04

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madmarchscare · 16/10/2006 16:08

Im contemplating not having one for DSs 3rd.
We had one for first obv. Then the 2nd one just happened.
Everyone says I am mean but I guess he wont even realise.

EnidVorhees · 16/10/2006 16:10

We had one for her 3rd but tbh we neednt have bothered

4 really the age when they enjoy it

madmarchscare · 16/10/2006 16:12

Hes just started nursery but I reckon I can get away with it.

lol, DH said he would do it, lololol

Original poster

cod · 16/10/2006 16:13

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madmarchscare · 16/10/2006 16:17

Excellent, I will direct all whinging relatives here (glittery cardis and all).

SoMuchToBats · 16/10/2006 16:17

We had a very small party at home for ds's 3rd (6 kids), and a slightly larger one (9 kids) at home for his 4th. But for his 5th, we ended up inviting 29, as he wanted a few people from outside of school, and all his class (he hadn't really been there long enough to know which were really his friends). About 21 came in the end. NOt sure how many to ask this year. He wants 3 people from outside of school, but not sure about school ones, as he seems to play with lots of different people at different times.

MegaLegs · 16/10/2006 16:26

My lot have a big birthday bash aged 5 (so two down two to go) Whole class (30 kids) local sports centre, two blokes to run riot with the kids, an impressively healthy party food selection, party bags, balloons all for £160. A bargain IMO.

fortyplus · 16/10/2006 16:37

Just read this one. Mine are 11 & 12 so done tons of parties over the years. Definitely up to age of 5 it's more for the parents' benefit - no harm in inviting the whole class if you want to - preferably jointly with another child's b-d.
Past few years we've only had about 6 'best friends' for a treat. In between we've had a few round for birthday tea on the actual day and then hired the local swimming pool (£70) and invited lots of people but asked them NOT to bring presents.
My 2 went to a go-karting party at the weekend - b-d child's parents took 10 of them @ £30 a head - ouch!
A friend's kid at posh private school went to a party where everyone got sent home with a GOLDFISH!
For the past few years most of their friends seem to have been into 'treats' not parties as such. Maybe the cinema then a meal.
I've done various things - this year we went into London on London Duck Tours - utterly brilliant - an amphibious vehicle that goes round famous sights and then splashes down into the Thames. Boys thought it was sooooooooooo cool!

foxinbubblesletsmaketrouble · 16/10/2006 17:44

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

fortyplus · 16/10/2006 17:57

Yes - it's www.londonducktours.co.uk and it was BRILLIANT!

foxinbubblesletsmaketrouble · 16/10/2006 18:14

Thanks fortyplus. I've always wondered about those tours and who organised them. I bet DS 6 would love to go!

mad4simon · 16/10/2006 19:16

I have just had a party for my DS's 6th. I had it in the local leisure centre. It was £35 for an hours play - with boncy castle, go carts, basketball etc and then a hot meal afterwards, which was 2.75 per child. I only had to pay for the food , of the children who turned up. We had about 22 kids there, is was totally maniac, but alot of fun. As someone said previously they will only really have big parties up until 7 or 8, so its worth splashing out a bit.

riab · 16/10/2006 19:47

were do people get the money for hiring halls, bouncy castles, entertainers etc? and why is it nesecary. My birthday parties were always a maximum of 5, joint party at halloween with DB was max of 15 children, can't see how it did us any damage.

I don't see how DS would be able to spend time with friends if he had more than 10 children there. For his first birthday we invited 6 children, that included our next door neighbours who are also his childminders and adopted cousins.

Maybe its just me but I do think most kids would be just as happy with a 'treat' trip pout with a few good friends, maybe to somewhere you cna't usually afford.

(oh and btw whoever said £150 was a bargain, I can think of so very many other ways to spend that money like on food or books)

SCARErenity · 16/10/2006 20:09

DSs get a choice between present and party, as I can't afford both. DS2s party this year was his birthday present from my Mum and sister so it's nice to get a load of small presents from his friends as those will be the only ones he gets to open........

I'm quite happy to make them pick to keep numbers down, but I insist on equal numbers of girls and boys. I haven't been to a girls only party yet (DD is only 2) but the all boys ones tend to be a bit.....uncivilised, so I like to even things out.

Grandparents - we do separate family things
Glittery knitwear - not since I was 14, thanks, but if there's going to be other judgy parents there I'll put a clean top and bit of slap on

fortyplus · 16/10/2006 20:24

foxinbubblesletsmaketrouble yes your 6yo will love the Ducktour but so will you!

And riab you have my sympathy - can remember what it was like not to have much spare money.

Of course kids don't 'need' big parties but they nearly all love being the centre of attention. Just as good to have a few people round meet a gang of friends in the park - just as long as there's a candle to blow out and if evryone gets a balloon it's usually a big success. One of my friends always used to have her twins' party in the local park and organise novelty races. You can even ask people to take their own picnic - maybe a teddy bears' picnic? A home made cake and a few balloons would only cost about £5 - even if you're on benefits that's affordable once a year.

iliketrees · 16/10/2006 20:26

Ok I'm panicking now - just moved to new area and DD 4th next week - was going to invite a few from her new nursery - basically to get to know the mums - but now she's got 3 invites to tohers birthdays at lesiure centres etc. I was only going to do a party in the house - am I going to look really crap or what? And what games shoudl I do? pass the parcel, pinata, tail on donkey, treasure hunt?? or just loads of cake?? help please

Original poster

cod · 16/10/2006 20:28

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