Page 5 | i am sorry but a 4 year old does not have 30 friends

Original poster

cod · 15/10/2006 21:49

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OP posts:

ediemay · 15/10/2006 21:50

I've been told that some of the Mums at school don't speak to each other if their child is left out of the party invitations. Makes me feel like I'm being forced to join a cult.

willowcatkin · 15/10/2006 21:52

Ds's 4th party soon - 20 kids in soft play in major shopping centre.

Parents love it - get two hours off to shop / have coffee then exhausted kids who happily go to bed early.

kids love it - can run, shout and scream as much as they like.

I love it - relatively cheap to hire room etc plus BK food ready packaged, so no plates etc needed.

Only problem is grandparents who fight!

ediemay · 15/10/2006 21:52

Will do what we usually do - chaos at home for about 15 kids plus good friends, lots of uneaten sarnies trampled into the carpet, everyone red-faced and screaming by 4pm with sugar shock from my fairy cakes

cat64 · 15/10/2006 22:21

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/10/2006 22:24

ROFL at "Martin Chuzzlewhit"

Peridot30 · 15/10/2006 23:28

I just knew that it was COD that started this thread. You are a miserable sod you never or very rarely have anything nice to say!!!!

hushshessleeping · 16/10/2006 00:22

codswallop - we love big get togethers in our spangled fairywings and incandescent attire and would happily invite anyone we knew despite from whence we made our acquaintance. Love and peace!!

hushshessleeping · 16/10/2006 00:24

and edit our typing when we write the invitations

cupsnakes · 16/10/2006 08:49

am liking the idea of panto and pizza for the unborn baby. sounds very easy at Christmas (why am I already planning parties for 5 years time for an unborn child?)

foxinbubblesletsmaketrouble · 16/10/2006 09:08

Queenpeahead - your 6 year old's party in the woods sounds great - think I'd enjoy ging to one of those

Our worst was when we had 25 2 year olds in our garden with all their yummy mummies. It was all a mad panic; boiling hot day, DH spent three hours trying to inflate the fecking paddling pool and one precious mummy kept following me around saying "ooooh haven't you got any organic apple juice - Cosmo only eats organic", until I snapped back "why don't you offer to give me a hand, instead of being a complete pain in the backside?!" Never saw her again

I agree with cod that 15 is the optimum number and it gets easier when they get to 5 or 6 'cos you can get away with only inviting boys/girls, which halves the number you have to invite anyway.

God, I hate hosting kids parties!

pinkranger · 16/10/2006 09:10

agree with willow, Ds 4th party - soft play at a local leisure centre - 26 kids, 11 of these are family and friends outside of his school - worked out quite cheap and also hopeing that i will only need to do 4 parties for him cause when he is older it will be Pizza and cinema!

I love partys!!

LunarSea · 16/10/2006 11:09

Hitting 30 is potentially easy when they've recently left nursery/preschool and started at a different school to their nursery friends, do several sports activities so have other friends from there, and you have a lot of other children of a similar age in the same street and you live in the sort of qieut traffic free area that they all play outside together all the time.

Clary · 16/10/2006 11:25

hmm we had 30 kids for DD?s party this year. She had never had a big party all to herself (b/day close to DS1?s) so I said she could invite lots of people. she actually wanted more! She is in Reception in an intake of 60, plus she had a few nursery pals etc which bumped up the numbers.
No we didn?t invite all her class (she has lots of pals in other class too) but did invite all the girls in her class. This was a mistake I won?t be repeating as the 2-3 not on her list were the worst behaved

QPH - DS1 did that marshmallow/biscuit sandwich thing at a Beavers fun day out the other week and it was apparently The Most Exciting Thing Ever. Top party idea!

BTW I wore a Boden top with sparkly cake on (from the children's range in a big size). Not sure if it counts as sparkly knitwear tho

sandyballs · 16/10/2006 11:36

The thing is, once you've hired the hall and the entertainer, it doesn't really matter whether you have 12 or 50 kids does it. I'd rather get it all over in one go by having my ante-natal group kids, school friends, neighbours etc all together.
My twins are having a joint one with a school friend in Feb, already organised and I can't wait . I shall be hunting down a sparkly top soon and the grandparents will definitely be there

LemonTart · 16/10/2006 11:44

ouch cod, as caustic as ever. I
large parties round here are the norm. Close knit village where everyone invites all in the class, often with a few siblings tied in to keep the party child?s own siblings happy.. often with grandparents tagging along.

Got to say though, you are spot on. Life would a lot simpler if we all kept the word according to Cod. It would cut our annual outlay in children?s presents down nicely too rather than spending hundreds yearly on small gifts, wrapping paper and cards!

Is it normal around you to have only a few Cod or are you seen as rebellious in rl as in cyberlfe? Would you allow your kids to attend all these parties only then not to return the invitees when it is your boys turn for a party??

mummydoc · 16/10/2006 12:03

just suffering hangover from dd2 second birhtday - had to drink to get thru it, had in garden/marquee, friends with children , couple of mums from dd1 school and their offspring, few old uni friends with their kids - made it clear otparents it was "whole family" type party and as dd only 2 no organised games - just nice afternoon playing in garden and on smallish bouncey castle. had made huge effort ( for me) to get all garden toys out, lots of dolls and pushchairs etc to paly with , and a lovely tea lots of pretty pink cakes etc. WELL never again. most people were late by an hour, a few parents dumped and ran - leaving bored older children ( one with severe nut allergy telling me firmly they had to pack for a holiday and so could n't stay and i was to supervise their childs food) this particular child is a glutton and was pestering me constantly for food....my mother was there and kept it all going but lots of painful small talk to parents from dd1 school i hardly knew who must have thought we were barking mad as they arrived early and no one else turned up for ages ...oh i am just cringing. why do we do this....

Original poster

cod · 16/10/2006 12:51

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twelveyeargap · 16/10/2006 13:06

For my dd's 6th birthday I let her invite her whole class (about 28) because she couldn't decide who to invite and who not to. It really started getting out of hand when the parents arrived with a sibling and in one case TWO siblings in tow. I'd hired a bouncy castle and stuck it ont he communal lawn in front of our house so it was too cruel to turn away the siblings. Then the kiddies from the houses near us turned up, DD's dad was sent to the shops for more supplies and we ended up with over 50 kids running riot in and out of the house and filling up on junk food and getting hyper on the bouncy castle. It was great craic all round though and the child had more presents than she knew what to do with. Was embarrassing actually. The following year was more sedate and we put a note on the invite for no presents, or to give the money to charity, which the parents thought was a nice gesture.

chicaguapa · 16/10/2006 14:07

Yes, saw this challenge on another thread...

I think it entirely depends on the child. If they couldn't think of anything worse than a room full of people, then let them have a small party. If they want to invite the whole class, why not?

We have 30 as DD has just started a new school and I invited the whole class. She is on SEN register for social skills as she struggles to relate to her peers and is quite shy initially. The reception teacher helped her give out the invitations and it has helped break the ice with many of the children in her class. And DD is thrilled that so many of her 'friends' are coming.

Another angle is that a girl recently invited only 4 girls from the class and everyone else was upset they'd not been invited. DD has already received 2 reciprocated invites but her best friend in the class has not received them and wanted to know why no-one liked her.

I know that it's upsetting for children not to be invited and this is inevitable in latter years. But the non-invited children are being given the message they are not someone's friend - when at this stage in the school year and in Reception - they have not yet been given the chance to become friends. Next year I intend to just invite those she asks to invite, but they will have all had a better chance to form friendships.

As DD needs help with social skills, I also wanted to teach her that it's not always kind to be exclusive.

I think it's something that depends on the age of the child. At DS's 2nd birthday party there will be 8 children at his party and I have hired a hall so they can all run around in a large space. The 8 consists of children of our friends/ godparents who he will grow up with - there will also be grandparents and other important family there to share the day with him.

twelveyeargap · 16/10/2006 14:29

Yep, I agree about the kids feeling left out. I never let my DD leave out one or two. She could invite one or two or the lot. As they get older and know themselves and the other kids better - who they like and who they don't, then it gets easier.

foxinbubblesletsmaketrouble · 16/10/2006 15:05

Doesn't it really piss you off though, when you invite the whole class and then some parents are too rude even to reply to the invite?

Or is it just me that happens to?

twelveyeargap · 16/10/2006 15:11

Oh no, that happens to me too. All the time. It's infuriating when you need numbers for something as well. Like I invited a load of kids to Thorpe Park once and needed to know if I could drive them in my car, or if I needed to hire a minibus. Do you think I could get a sodding reply? It's so rude. There's me going to be spending a small fortune giving their kids a day out and I had to chase them for a reply.

diNOLOOKINGOVERYOURSHOULDERsau · 16/10/2006 15:26

We've only ever done the "big party" thing once, and I naively thought it would result in lots of return invites for my DS1. Wrong...in fact I think it's counterproductive as people don't think that it's anything special that their child has been invited if the world and his dog are there too!

Frieda · 16/10/2006 15:26

Does no one else think that the idea of a four-year-old (or anyone, really for that matter) receiving 30 presents is a bit excessive?