Adult Son living with parents

[Theworldsgonemad]

My Son is 29 and lives with us.
He went away to Uni for four years, came back and his long term relationship broke up.
He's been single since.
He has a very good job.
Has a hobby.
However he's not interested in living on his own, getting his own place. We live in an area of the country which is extremely expensive re housing.
It's not a problem for us, him living at home. I just wonder if it's good for him.
I don't know what I'm asking really. Your thoughts, I guess.

It’s not good for him. He needs to start his own life. If he’s got a good job, then tell him to save his money so he can afford a deposit on his own home.

@Soonenough I think that now is a good time to have a conversation with him about his long-time plans. He’s turning 30 this year and perhaps the OP would prefer that he’s not still living with her at 40. She may wish to downsize or move, perhaps his siblings would like to move in instead, who knows.
Her DS does need to be saving and working towards getting his own place, he shouldn’t assume that his parents will provide accommodation for him indefinitely.

My DH and I don’t intend to live in our current house forever, for example, we want to downsize and move from the expensive area that we live in.

Living alone sucks. If he's recently split from his girlfriend then he's probably feeling like sh![.....better he stays with people who care. When he's feeling stronger he will likely fall in love again and move along.

I was in a similar situation to your son, I went to uni later on in life then had a big break up which resulted in me moving home. I stayed there until I met my husband and then we moved in together and had our family. If you enjoy having him there and he’s contributing both financially and with help around the house I see no harm. It certainly didn’t harm me! Maybe encourage him to save more for a deposit etc but I wouldn’t worry. Times are hard and housing costs are insane!

But is he saving? Is there a plan that he's working towards? Or is he just spending all of his money every month and expecting to live with you forever?

Surely he can move to a different area?

Update: It's all change.
He has a mortgage in principle arranged and is actively looking at properties. All his own instigation, I hadn't said anything.
I'm so pleased for him.

Thank you for the update, and wishing him all the best.

That's great, you were able to give him a safe haven until he was ready. Hope you'll still see him when he moves.

I was planning to have a chat with him about his plans for 2026. However my Mum took a turn for the worst at the start of January, she died mid February from cancer. It was a shock for us all.
He's looking at properties about 30mins away from us, closer to where he works.
He's seeing 6 properties tonight! The estate agents seem to like him.