Thread 55 - Covid GCSE Cohort - Autumn 25 - Yr 4 Uni and Graduates

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 54:
Thread 54

Hope everything went well for your DS @comefromaway - how fab for him!

He was very happy with how it went, thank you. Just got to do the same agsin today x 2 shows.

So pleased it went well @Comefromaway. BTW Come From Away is my favourite musical. When DD was studying at LSE we walked by the theatre at 5.30pm and got some unexpected last minute, middle of the stalls, tickets for £25. It was the best £25 spent.

If you haven’t heard of Come From Away, it is a musical based on a town in Canada on the day of 9/11. An amazing show!

I think about that evening every time I see your name @Comefromaway!

Which show is it @Comefromaway if that’s not too outing? I have got Come from Away on my list but haven’t managed to see it yet.

So sad to read all this shit, especially re Piggy ds.
Whoever agreed to parenting being this shit? 😉

I admit I'm now coping with ds1, (after all his earlier trauma that nearly broke me). But ds2 is now more of a challenge, in a different way.

i don’t think I really need to say that Come From Away is my favourite show too.

just got back from the theatre. So proud of Ds. It’s a show that’s been touring for years but it still seemed very fresh.

Very pleased it went well for him @Comefromaway .

So pleased it went well @Comefromaway- well done to your ds!

I’m sorry ds2 is challenging @Oblomov25but hopefully it’s just a phase and will pass. How old is he?

17 crazy, year 12, 1st year of A'level's.

@Comefromaway so glad it went well!

@Oblomov25 do you think A level pressure is getting to him maybe?

@Oblomov25 ds was a bit of a nightmare in sixth form so you have my sympathy - but if it gives you hope, he's great now, very focused and sensible. I almost miss the ds who did daft things and had me on the phone to school every other week 😂

I’m enjoying catching up with all news. I’ve been dipping in and out but not commented. Lots of stuff going on on here with quite a few still at uni. Ds2 is still driving me mad with his “can’t be bothered” attitude, he says it’s undiagnosed ADHD. But who knows? He’s in his 4th year at uni as he spent year 3 in Australia. So he started back in Sussex in October. He came home mid Dec. and has spent 95% of the time in his room, he only had one meal most days during the night when we were asleep. He shouted at me if I tried to get him to eat, he said he was sleeping and quite happy. I nagged him to do his laundry or let me do it. It stayed in his car until this weekend when he did it just before going back to Brighton yesterday. He has to leave everything until the last minute. He’s decided he wants to do a PGCE. I’ve told him he needs to apply. But he just shrugs. I can’t imagine him teaching, setting work, marking homework etc because he can’t get anything done. He’s meant to claim expenses back from his travel to Australia. He submitted the forms in July. He didn’t hear anything and wouldn’t contact them. Last week I persuaded him to sign in to SFE on his phone and I messaged, they said they emailed in August asking for proof of flight costs. Of course Ds doesn’t bother to read emails, he has thousands unread. They said to load the documents and he can still claim. But I can’t get him to upload them. He could get £1k back. But he just won’t do it. He makes me so cross.
So he may apply for teaching and he may not. He said he’d like to go to UEA for PGCE as it’s our nearest university and he will commute. But he says he doesn’t want to live at home with ds1. So no idea what he’ll do. I just hope he completes his degree! I’ve suggested starting his dissertation but I get shouted at.

Ds1 is now home after travelling for the best part of 3 years (he’s almost 25) I think some of you on here have dc’s the same age and were on that cohort thread. Ds went off travelling as the son of a beef farmer and came home a vegan! He has a biology degree but doesn’t want to work in biology. He was home for a few months last summer, he got some extra work doing bat surveys as he wants to get into ecology. He’s just been offered an assistant ecologist job from March until October. So that’s a start at getting on the ecology ladder. I think he wants to travel again from October, this hasn’t gone down well will dh who wants him to earn and save ready to move out. Ds2 and ds3 still don’t get on with him, I’ve put on here many a time that they don’t get on, dh and I struggle with him too. I hope he enjoys his job he might be a bit easier to get on with then.

Ds3 is in year 12 and getting on with A levels (maths, FM, chemistry and physics) but isn’t sure on his next plans. Possibly maths at university. But he’s not sure he wants to go to university.

So I feel the only Ds with a real plan is ds1.

Phew if you made it to the end of that lot, well done 😉

I think you may have been promoted to the top member of the high cortisol club this week @icanbewhatiwant I feel hugely stressed just reading that, my DS's are a mild version of that and drive me up the wall!

My DS2 is year 13 and doing maths, physics and chemistry too. He's applied for Chemistry degrees (with medicinal or drug discovery) but chemistry is his favourite subject. Would your DS3 be interested in Chemical engineering? or Materials science? DS was interested in both of those with his subject choices.

@icanbewhatiwant that definitely sounds very much like ADHD with ds2! Both mine have it and their sleep patterns easily get completely out of sync. Ds was terrible during sixth form, and missed most of his lessons in year 13, but he decided for himself that he needed to sort it (and the job at Tesco helped). Your ds would probably really benefit from a diagnosis, as it might help him to understand himself and find ways to work around his struggles.

Ds also buries his head in the sand with admin/emails etc, but he's getting better. And the last minute thing is classic ADHD - it drives me mad (although I know I'm the same - perhaps not quite as extreme). With the semester abroad application, ds refused to even look at the application form or do any research until the night before, and then of course he discovered that there was way more to it and he needed to choose modules etc at each university. He submitted it 1 minute before the due time thankfully... But it would have been much less stressful if he'd started it earlier.

@JustHereWithMyPopcornds3 has the dilemma of having to drop a subject. He’s not allowed to take 4 A levels. I know is often standard to take 4 if FM is one of them. His favourite of all is FM. He said he’d like to drop maths (not FM) obviously that isn’t an option. So he has to drop either chemistry or physics. He can’t choose. He likes them equally. All 4 subjects he got 9 at gcse and is predicted A in all. Predictions are based on gcse results, obviously they will predict A. So it’s not like he has a weaker subject. As he doesn’t know what to do next I feel it’s unfair telling him to drop a subject. If he wants to do a maths degree then maths, FM and a science is fine. But if he drops a science that limits his degree subjects more.

@crazycrofterdh and I are both the sort of person who gets stuff done immediately. So understanding Ds is hard. He definitely doesn’t have the hyperactive part though. I can remember in primary school he was very easily distracted, he used to only write 2 or 3 lines and no more. But he’s always done well in what he needs to and always put in the least effort he can to achieve what he needs. I heard him recently asking ds3 why he was doing his homework and telling him not to 🙄

@crazycrofterds nearly didn’t go abroad as he missed a form he needed for the visa. It came a week or so before his flight. He was silly booking the flight without it. Though he’d have still gone once it arrived. But it was nerve wracking waiting.

My ds1 acts like this too. He has diagnosed ADHD.
Burn out is common with ADHD. Ds will vegetate completely when he comes home in the holidays.
I have 3 with ADHD, so they're often cooking major meals during the night & raiding the freezer for nice food!
Ds1 had a very prolonged burn out for several months a couple of years ago & he was diagnosed with a low B12. Constant sleeping & barely eating. He looked very skinny & pale. With really bad rashes and psoriasis.
He said he wasn't depressed just exhausted.

It makes sense @Cantonet as achieving even the normal tasks of life is so much more exhausting when you've got ADHD. I've realised how exhausting I find it even just observing my kids' (and dh's) lives! Glad your ds1 has recovered.

My two do the late night cooking too!

@Cantonetds2 had blood tests several years ago as he wanted drugs for his acne. These showed severely lacking in vitamin d. But he won’t take it. He says there is no proof it helps. He’s always tired and complains his bones hurt and that I have given him dodgy bones. I don’t have anything wrong with my bones apart from osteoarthritis this past few years. But I was fine until evening. I can’t force him to take them. He is now vegetarian, who’d believe they grew up on a beef farm? All he cooks is pasta and cheese. He adds some frozen veg if he has some. So his diet isn’t good. Ds1 offered him meals he’d cooked, but he said no. Ds1 loves to cook, 3 times a day. I offered to make a bean chilli. He said no.

@icanbewhatiwant why on earth have they let him take 4 a levels if they won't let him sit them? Also, a lot of maths degrees and engineering degrees want further maths if your school teaches it. What is their reasoning?

@JustHereWithMyPopcornthey all start with 4 A levels at the start of year 12. Ds1 took 4 AS levels then dropped a subject. They stopped AS the year ds2 was there due to Covid, but he still studied 4 until the end of year 12. Now they like them to start with 4 and pick their favourites by Christmas. I guess it helps for those undecided on subjects. But you wouldn’t think it’s the same with FM.

@icanbewhatiwanttell him his hair might fall out as a consequence & he could start balding!
It works on mine.
He needs to take multivitamins & a high dose vitamin d. Can you buy him those attractive gummies?

Ooh….what did you say @cantonet it’s hidden.

I really don't know why it's hidden 😕
All I said is tell him he might go bald if he's vitamin d deficient & get him this sweetie like vitamin gummies that are nice to take.