Thread 55 - Covid GCSE Cohort - Autumn 25 - Yr 4 Uni and Graduates

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 54:
Thread 54

Has he heard any more from the Army? A masters through them would be the ideal solution.

Sorry to hear about your stresses @Aslockton . I hope your dh is able to get his BP under control and good luck with the inspection!

@craggyrat it's expensive isn't it - I was relieved dd decided to move back onto the MSci, rather than doing a separate masters, as I discovered that you repay both your undergrad and postgrad loans at the same time if they're separate loans. It really adds up! DD will of course have a huge loan, but no more than 9% of her income over the threshold will be taken. But obviously, for many there isn't the option of an MSci or they want to change subject for the masters.

How are the new first years getting on? We visited dd and ds in Nottingham on Saturday and they were both very positive, lots of socialising going on and new friends. Ds does seem to be trying to keep up with his reading. I'll be happy when he's managed to submit a few assessments and done ok on them. He's still waiting for his DSA equipment as he dithered for ages about upgrading his laptop.

@crazycrofter glad they're happy with uni life. Yes the Masters amount was a real eye opener for us. A lot of his friends down there have parents who can find this stuff without any loans but we simply can't. He is a hard worker and has been working long hours since graduation to go towards Masters, am just not sure he really needs to do one. He will get Masters anyway 6 years after matriculation.

@Aslockton hows your DH doing? DS heard nothing from Army recently. We keep saying doing the education officer through them would be ideal as they'd pay for PGCE and Masters plus good salary etc etc. It seems a real no brainer to us as parents but what do we know...I just don't think he's ready to let Cambridge go...I think there'll be some interesting chats once he is back home again!

DH is much better. The medication is working. We are off on holiday tomorrow, which is much needed.

DD will get a 2nd degree paid for by the navy in Logistics management. She may also do a law conversion and bar exams whilst on full pay with the navy. That does commit her to a further 8 years. At the moment she only has to do 4 and then could leave and earn a fortune with a big multi national logistics company! She would only be 29 if she did that.

It will be interesting to see what route she takes.

The armed forces do make a lot of sense financially don't they? A friend's 23 year old has just completed his five years with the army. Not sure he massively enjoyed it, but he's come out with an engineering qualification (and got a job quite easily) and has bought a house, presumably with the deposit saved through years of free accommodation.

Ds would have loved to go that route, but has eye issues which wouldn't allow it.

There's definitely a big divide between the kids whose parents can fund their masters (and undergrad) and those who can't. A lot of dd's friends from her (private) secondary school are in the former group and will be graduating into decent-paying professions like dentistry, medicine etc with no student loans.

Enjoy your holiday @Aslockton !

New first year DD seems to be fine, she came home last weekend but for various reasons I didn't see much of her (DH picked her up after work as his work is not far from her, then he took her back Sunday afternoon because I was visiting DF in hospital 25 miles in the opposite direction, but we did go out for a nice Sunday roast pub lunch first). @crazycrofter we ended up buying DD a laptop as she had left it so late to apply for DSA and didn't have one at all (she did the vast majority of her college written work in the college library on theirs and used an IPad and keyboard for the rest). She did agree to contribute to the cost though.

I've got a group of well off friends with DCs the same age as ours and have had this discussion about taking loans or not, or paying them off early. One family (v.v. wealthy) paid their DCs fees / living costs without even considering doing otherwise. One family (well off enough to pay them outright but not mega rich) decided against because they wanted their DCs to know the value of money and take responsibility. Also felt that they'd rather support them with money for a house deposit and let them pay off their own loans. That would be my dilemma. Also neither of mine look like going into really high flying careers financially speaking so may never pay them off. It is all a bit of a gamble, same with planning around care, inheritance etc as we are finding with my parents.

Glad DH is better @Aslockton enjoy your holiday

Good news that dd is settling well @EndlessDistraction . Ds has fortunately been able to borrow a MacBook from someone whilst he's waiting for the DSA one. He's upgraded to a gaming PC, and is paying the difference - I hope this isn't a bad idea! He said it's worth it for the extra money, and I think he's too sociable to spend excessive amounts of time in his room gaming, but it could still be a(nother!) big distraction! He's had patches of being obsessed with particular games in the past, but his hyper-fixations usually switch every few months/year or so. At the moment he is obsessed with poker and seems to be playing it at every possible moment and carrying cards with him at all times... We spent about four hours with him on Sat and he also seems to be using cards as a type of fidget toy, so he spent the whole time shuffling them (/occasionally dropping them on the floor) whilst talking!

I wish we had enough money to worry about whether to pay for uni fees or a house deposit but we've not got enough for either! 😂

There is a real spread now across our DC, from those at university to some already in the workplace proper. Working in whatever capacity for the MoD and being deployed is very sobering, but I agree, that for those up for it, it has its pros too. I hope those who have started their grad jobs are also enjoying the change of scene.

Reality is being to hit home here too, that apart from 3 months after graduating where I am assuming much will be taken up with her travelling, DD will not actually be returning home to live. Bit if a long shot, but there are mortgage lenders out there that will potentially lend to new graduates based on signed job offer so that's her plan, as she has managed to save a good starting deposit from PT work and it may be cheaper than renting. The default will be to rent if she's way off from getting on the rung. And hopefully she can plan ahead wfh from London as and when appropriate/ties in with work.

If anyone's DC have managed to secure a credit card already, no matter what the interest or initial credit limit has been, can you give me recommendations please? DD needs to start a credit profile but it's not so easy these days, and even the initial search is more punitive than years ago in our day. I was on my first mortgage at 20 yrs old when the interest rates peaked at 15.5%. Painful days yet remarkably fun!

@ealingwestmum ds has a credit card from Capital One. I think the credit limit is only £300 but it's definitely a good idea to get started with a credit profile. Ds got it on the back of having a job at Tesco though, although I think when he got it in the summer his contract was only 8 hours (although he did more than that - not sure how important any of that was really). Well done to your dd on saving up enough for a deposit, she always sounds so mature and sensible! Where will her grad job be based? Will it start in September?

Ds is surprisingly sensible with money, despite his impulsive tendencies. He hasn't touched his child trust fund and it's grown about 25-30% in the last year so he's hoping to be able to top it up with earnings and have a deposit at some point after graduation too - of course a lot depends on where you're buying doesn't it. Dd is absolutely terrible with money, very impulsive and loses track of spending! She's at the top of the waiting list now for ADHD meds, just waiting on an ECG next week first. She has high hopes that meds will sort out all her problems with impulsivity and procrastination! I'm not sure it's that simple, but I do hope they help.

Perfect, I was hoping Capital One were still favourable to the young, thanks @crazycrofter . She starts 7th Sept based in Belfast, so much cheaper than other parts of the UK but not all financial deals are available to those in NI, so we’ll see.

‘I hope the meds do exactly what your DD hopes they will, or even if it provides a placebo effect if she’s got so much riding on them She has done so well to deal with the set backs like driving so 🤞 on moving forwards.

Sorry to hear of BP Aslockton. Is it getting better. Our close friend, died in her sleep end of last month, aged 53, apparently unknown blood pressure issues. We are all very sad, her funeral is next week.

DH's BP is nearly back to normal. I think the relief of stepping away from a stressful job has played a big part.

@Oblomov25 That is terribly sad and makes me realise it was the right thing for DH do. They say high blood pressure is the silent killer. I have been surprised how many people our age are on BP medication or statins.

@ealingwestmum DS is hoping to get on the property ladder too. We encouraged him to rent in a professional house share at first. This was mainly because he was new to the area/city and did not know anyone or the city (which areas were nice and where to avoid). In a house share you have people around you and can build connections. At first the house-share of 6 was not great. It was not a social house and everyone stayed in their rooms. Then a new chap moved in in Sept who is doing a grad scheme locally. This has changed the dynamics as DS and new chap get on so well, go running together, the whole house have started to watch films each Sunday evening etc.

DS is loving his job and wants to put down roots. He is going to start to look at properties and hopefully new chap might become a lodger. I remember looking at my first house. We did get married the week after we left university aged 22 (eek!) and our first house was a 4 bed terrace in the South East for 70k!! Oh how things have changed. Who gets married at 22?

@Aslockton Love your latest update that is such great news. Your dh responding well to treatment and DD sounds like she is flying. What an amazing opportunity, especially in this climate. A great example of hard work meets fantastic opportunity.

You DS' experience in a shared 'professional' house sounds exactly like DS's placement house. Unfortunately they didnt have a new grad scheme student move in so everyone remained in their rooms. DS did try thoought and towards the end they started to have some convos in the kitchen but it was so heartwarming to read the impact these two together made in the house.

@Oblomov25 that is so sad about your friend. What an awful shock

Who gets married at 22? hehe, my husband too. I literally cradle snatched him at mature 30 ;)

I think DD would have gone for the professional share @Aslockton if she knew the office was taking more people like her on. They may still do via the grad assessment route for the various lines of service vacant. Most hires are local, or studied at Queens so have established connections. Thankfully the 6 weeks in the summer were enough for her to get a good feel of life there, where to try and live etc.

Very sad news about your friend @Oblomov25. I can relate also to the worry, having been on statins since my 20´s and having high BP even though I try and do all the things necessary to reduce. My dad died at 39 from his first heart attack, but at 57 I just have to accept the genetics I’ve been born into.

So sorry to hear about your friend @Oblomov25 , how sad 😢

@Aslockton @ealingwestmum I got married (and bought a house) at 23! 2000 and it was £45,000! Even then it was a bargain, but it needed a lot of work...

@ealingwestmum I've heard so much good stuff about living in Belfast. I half hoped ds would end up at Queen's but it wasn't to be. I'm sure your dd will love it.

@Aslockton great news that your ds and flatmate have turned the flat situation down. The only negative we've heard from first year ds really is that he never sees his flatmates. He doesn't mind too much as he gets the kitchen to himself to do his meal prep, but he's spent time in other more sociable flats and he would love that too.

@Aslockton I meant 'turned the flat situation around' of course!

My two are fairly sensible with money on a day to day basis but I have not been successful in persuading them to take an interest in investing, they have both still got their child trust funds invested as stocks and shares ISAs but I suspect they aren't performing very well and no matter how often I suggest sitting down amd looking at them together they always find excuses not to, it does my head in a bit. Mind you mine's not doing very well at the moment either and I need to sort that. DH just lets his savings sit in a deposit account unless I nag him, I do at least chase good savings rates with mine. I am in the process of taking over my Dad's finances which is quite daunting but he has kept very good records. A bigger frustration is helping mum deal with hers as Dad used to do it all for her but he's going into a care home now. I have to explain simple things to mum about 15x over and it is very draining but she doesn't want to hand it over to me via LPA yet (Dad has no choice but is fine about it) and DB is proving to be about as much use as a chocolate teapot. DH is now executing the will of his friend who died recently so we are in a bit of an admin overwhelm between us.

Ds much happier with his course this academic year. Still working lots alongside.

Nice to hear your DS is happy @Comefromaway

@EndlessDistraction my DS has just started investing a bit more. He's generally pretty good with money too. He has never asked us for anything ever money wise but he can be (over) generous with gifts and I do worry he gets taken advantage of a bit over things like that. He can be v naive I think. You sound as though you have a lot on your plate at the moment. I really feel for you. My in laws have aged a lot recently. DH is fantastic with them. His DB also useless. Thankfully they moved to be v near us but I dread the day something happens to one of them.

DD is coming home for reading week which will be lovely as we haven't seen her since the very beginning of September. The only problem I have is that she is driving back - she has been on a motorway twice - both times accompanied by either DH or myself. And the M25 is the last bit of her journey.... I've offered to go up the day before by train and come back with her, but she wants to do it on her own. I'm terrified!

She has also successfully auditioned for the uni tap dance competition team! She has never done comps before but has danced since she was 2. Hopefully it won't take too much time away from her dissertation, job hunting and Masters applications 🙄

You have got a lot on @EndlessDistraction 😱but it sounds like you're on top of things and organised!

@Comefromaway glad your ds is enjoying his course!

@seeline well done to dd! My two always like to have lots on as they think it helps them to have less time to do things - I'm not convinced! Dd put her name forward for fight night (apparently they get six weeks of boxing training first if they're accepted?) but she hasn't heard yet..

Hope dd's drive home goes ok - it's scary at first, but they have to get the experience one way or another.

DS has only gone and put in an offer on a house! We are abroad, so helping him navigate the process has been fun… jumping in to cafes for a quick phone call etc. I remember being in Paris for our 25th anniversary and my mum’s flat getting an offer on it. I had to ignore the estate agent’s calls as I was on a walking tour. In the mean time the lady upped her offer to full asking price.

Anyway, to put in an offer nowadays you have to email evidence of a mortgage in principle, where the deposit is coming from, along with filling out a form about buying position, extra information about the purchase etc. The estate agent was trying to get DS to up his offer to full asking price before putting his initial offer to the vendor. Cheek! It is a buyers’ market and he has the right to have his initial offer considered. Watch this space.

• mum’s flat was a probate sale. Hence why I was getting the calls.