Thread 55 - Covid GCSE Cohort - Autumn 25 - Yr 4 Uni and Graduates

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 54:
Thread 54

Yes I think so too @JustHereWithMyPopcorn.
I was really upset for her being so unpleasantly treated.
They'd spent 3 days in the family home all working for exams, assignments after 6 days skiing. Apparently she was upset & felt she had just spent the whole time cooking/hosting.Ds1also went with them & says she was lovely to him but he left just before this all blew up. Her son is very even handed & fits in well with us all, but she seems totally unhinged. I've told dd to have no further contact with her or the sisters. The boyfriend is totally dependant on his mother as an overseas student, so she could make life very difficult for them both.
@crazycrofterthank you.
Dd1 has cheered up I think. She did a 7 mile run after work last night. She's currently applying for jobs as a specialist vet intern & it's a stressful time. The vet hospitals have reduced the number of internships, so it's becoming more difficult to progress. So she might have to locum for a while back at a vets surgery. The good news it's a lot more lucrative doing that than working as an intern. Which seems to be more or less slave labour.

@craggyrathappy 22nd birthday to your ds.
@crazycrofter yes it is a European country - a strongly Catholic one.
@Delphigirli hear you with the grunting adult children. I have one here who seems to be semi-nocturnal & cooks a prawn & vodka pasta dish for breakfast. Ate all the salmon in the freezer & cooked duck breast instead of the healthy meals I've left for him.

Happy birthday to your lovely boy @craggyrat !

Happy birthday to your ds @craggyrat !

@Cantonet good luck to dd1 finding vet work. Why is finding work so difficult these days, even for vets, doctors etc?!

@Seeline is the museum traineeship still an option for next April if nothing else comes up in the meantime? I remember my mum being very keen for me to do a museum studies masters 😂In the end I went for teaching, and then dropped out and went into accountancy. My sister did archiving though, and is still doing it - has dd considered that? My sister works in a very old school and the archives are really fascinating, plus she gets to do a bit of teaching too...

Dd was originally thinking she might try for a level 7 apprenticeship as a clinical associate in psychology, but we can no longer find them advertised - I'm wondering if it's a casualty of the government's changes to apprenticeships? Also she had been interested in mental health social work as a back up, but the programme she was looking at has been cancelled as of this year. It's a tough climate out there!

Happy Birthday CraggyDS! It's my DD's today too, don't think I'd picked up before that it was the same date. Lucky 13!

Happy birthday to your DD as well @EndlessDistraction!

Happy birthday to the DCs!! Hope they are both having wonderful days!

Happy birthday to your DD @EndlessDistraction !

DS went back at the weekend and had a project (end of module) presentation today which he felt went well. Academically, he's on top of it. However, his relationship with his GF is apparently on the rocks which is not good timing!

Most of my stress is currently with DD who is uploading 5 different versions of her digital portfolio to her art schools of choice with deadlines from tomorrow onwards for the next week. (Still editing/formatting as we speak!).

@sansou that is so much work & takes masses of time to prepare each one . Dd2 had to do similar for Architecture when she was in of middle of mocks. Her lovely house mistress excused her from some mocks she could complete them in time . Her school had exams every weekend so she wasn't missing much.
The very best of luck to her.

Happy birthday to the DC @craggyrat @EndlessDistraction

We charge DS rent. He's going to be based here for 2 years as he is not guaranteed a job at the end of the scheme and he will be doing placements elsewhere in the company in the 2 years. Tying himself into a private rental just seemed daft.

@crazycrofter - yes the traineeship would e an option for next year if nothing else appears, but would mean not doing a masters this year, again due to the April start! The traineeship is by now means guaranteed - I think they have 4 places, and as far as I am aware it is the only one in the country, and is basically open to anyone who has an interest with GCSEs. It was always a gamble. I think archives would be so interesting, but DD not so sure. She did have a meeting with someone from the National Archives at Kew a while back who was really helpful - gave a her a tour, showed some old artifacts etc and DD came back buzzing, but seems to have cooled off on that now.... She went back to uni on Sunday so I can relax a bit for now.

I was so looking forward to a day on my own yesterday as DH and DS were going into the office. But DS changed his mind. I haven't been on my own since DD came home for Christmas mid December. I find as I get older, I really crave peace, quiet and some space. It seems harder to get now than when the DCs were tiny!

Oh I know exactly what you mean @seeline! To be honest, my kids were out a lot over Christmas but my dh is always around! He works from home and doesn't really go out socially either. And now that the dc have looming deadlines they're suddenly at home studying all the time too... I absolutely love being home alone, but it's so so rare. Yesterday dh was out at a governors monitoring meeting for two hours in the morning and dd was doing her warehouse job and that felt like a novelty....

But I know that once both dc are back at uni I'll miss them! Dd has been talking about what will happen when she graduates and on the one hand I'd be really happy for her to come back, save money etc, but on the other hand I think she might benefit more from staying in Nottingham. It's a funny transitional stage isn't it, this time.

Your dd should definitely consider archives - I think there are a few different masters courses around?

I think my attitude towards rent stems from the fact that dh's parents never charged his elder sister anything and she was still living with them in her thirties! Meanwhile he was at uni on a reduced grant due to their income and they didn't give him any contribution.

Ds is flat hunting for next year with his ex girlfriend! (She is one of his current flatmates but there are 5 of them). They are hoping to persuade a third friend to join them but he has more limited financial means and may need to live in a cheaper area. Ds prefers to be more central as he feels he will only end up spending more on travel.

I must admit I am beginning to struggle with DS being home - we aren't charging rent because he is saving hard to buy his first place (and hopefully no rent might mean that happens sooner...). But it is a constant battle over when he is in/out, food, showers etc. He seems to be continuing a student lifestyle, which really isn't working for two adults nearing retirement!

Will ds still be studying next year @Comefromaway or does he graduate this year?

Ds is worrying slightly about what to do next year accommodation-wise. He really doesn't want to stay in uni accommodation, but if he gets his semester abroad, he'll only need a house share for one semester. The lad he was going to share with has decided to drop out of his course anyway, so that's a disappointment, but maybe for the best. Is it a thing if you're on a semester abroad, to find someone who's away the opposite semester and then share a house contract with them, or would that be impossible contractually? I guess he'd have to find people to share with and sign up for the house and then hope to pass the contract onto someone else in January? Seems a risk to me...

@seeline how long will it take him to save up to move out?

Just checking in with you in all and reading back through all your news.
Ds1 is back in Notts for a few a few weeks, sitting his last 2 Uni Accountancy exams.

He graduates this year so he is looking at 2 & 3 person flats. A couple of his friends who graduated last year are in a nice block close to the station and he has been to see them.

@crazycrofterds is in private next year and I think they can be rented for just one semester.

Our attitude to rent is that we don’t charge as long as they are either saving or paying off debt. Our criteria is a minimum of £500 per
month to be saved/debt paid off. We haven’t asked for proof but know both of their situations. This 21yo DS moved out to rent with friends a few months ago and older DS is hoping to buy a house in the next few months so it seems to work. We are lucky though that we don’t need them to pay us rent, I understand that not everyone is fortunate enough to be in that position though.

Happy new year all! can't remember if I've said that already. I see all our yp are still finding their feet. Both ds's still job hunting. DS1 has ots of interviews coming in but ds2 still looking, he's seriously regretting turning down his Placement offer now. Its a harsh lesson about a bird in hand..

Hi @Shimy this job hunting is just awful. Hope yours are successful soon. That is difficult re turning down the placement. I think this time is really difficult for us parents. Honestly some of the choices DS makes, they make DH and I just want to scream.

Still nothing here from any branch of Armed Forces I'm not even sure DS is trying that hard to do anything about it. I wish he'd just tell us if he's not interested. He has interview today for a different Cambridge post grad course that DH and I both think is an absolute waste of time and money but what do we know!!

It’s such a tough job market. DD says she feels really lucky to have a permanent job doing something she’s interested in. Most of her friends are still looking and working hospitality/retail jobs in the meantime. She decided against doing a placement year, which she now thinks might have been a mistake. But you can’t make them see sense at the time, can you?

Anyway, to celebrate having a stable income she’s just bought a new car (2025 plate - so nicer than the ones DH and I drive). Her old one was getting expensive to keep running, and she might as well do it whilst she’s living at home with low housing costs/high disposable income. This is her 4th car, and the first time she hasn’t been replacing a car that was written off!

DS1 still works at Dunelm. He had an interview today for recruitment . He really doesn't want that job. He hates working in Dunelm.

He had two interviews last week - one at a bank and one just in customer service at our local pol. He has heard form neither. To quote DS ' How can I have a master's in politics and not even get a job at a fucking pool?' (sorry for language - I do ask him not to swear...

He had an interview to work for our local MP and was unsuccessful. It's so disheartening.

DS2 just got turned down for Telegraph grad scheme.

Thanks for the commiserations @craggyrat Its tough all round. If i told you the opportunities ds2 turned down (Asset mgt, Tax, Tech consulting) you'll be shocked. I'm so angry at the stupid choices he has made but like you said, we can make these choices for them, we can ony advice. He is only now starting to wake up to see that he may be unemployed when he graduates.

Is the post grad something related to his 1st degree (specialising) or is it a complete change of direction? Cambs grads are very employable so i suppose it can't hurt to have it on his CV, that is in the absence of a job offer but of course its another huge financial burden.

@OublietteBravo I'm so pleased its worked out for her and sounds like she is doing very well. Enjoy that car!

@Piggywaspushed I can hear the exasperation in your DS1's voice and totally agree with him. It just makes no sense. What incentive is there for dc to study hard, pass their exams and go to uni? at the moment, very little. It's a shame. The silver lining is it's a season, i believe the job market will recover, things will start to move again and they will all find their feet eventually. He should do whatever training he can in the meantime, professional courses? and keep on sending those applications.