Thread 55 - Covid GCSE Cohort - Autumn 25 - Yr 4 Uni and Graduates

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 54:
Thread 54

Really enjoying reading about the working people on here too, latest from yours @OublietteBravo 👏

Hoping for a positive Army update from @craggyrat , even if he now chooses alternative pathways, the process for him has been eye-opening!

Hope the conveyancing continues to be smooth for your boy @Aslockton ans your DD’s next adventure via work is shaping up.

Happy New year everyone, lovely to hear the updates. Our kids do know how to keep our cortisol levels nice and high don’t they! 😂

DS1 is in the middle of his mocks, just Physics left on Monday. He seems happy enough with how Chemistry and Maths went so I’m hoping his marks agree so I can see if he’s on top of things.

DS2 has apparently been ‘approached’ on LinkedIn for a position at another local law firm but much bigger (and more young people). I suspect it’s just a recruiting agent trying to get more people in their books for bonuses but we’ll see how it pans out. I think he’s mad for thinking about leaving before a year is done where he is but what would I know. He has also just had a big package delivered with learning resources for the SQE which hopefully means he’s taking it seriously.

Today he’s booking a trip to China for his holiday as his previously planned destination, Miami, is apparently too ‘sketchy’ these days. OK then.

Also, I have booked a summer holiday and I am excited to have something to look forward to as I freeze at home. 🎉

Happy New Year!

Good to hear everyone's news. I know what you mean about kids and our cortisol levels @JustHereWithMyPopcorn ! I thought DD had a nice plan for next year, but her plan A collapsed (a full year paid traineeship for museum work) when she went to apply and discovered that the 'year' started in April, not September. That left plan B - Masters in museum studies, but now she's not sure if she wants museums at all as she doesn't know all the possible jobs, or what sort of area she would like.
She's had a look at some grad schemes for other sectors, but many have already closed. And again, no idea as to what she would like!
I've told her to apply for masters now - she doesn't have to take up offers in September. But probably best to effectively take a year out, try some temporary jobs and see if anything takes her fancy (or is a definite no which is far more likely), and reconsider at a later stage.
Have also suggested a chat with uni careers people....

Good luck to all those in the midst of mocks - so glad I'm through that stage!

Crikey suddenly two pages to catch up on. Loving all the DC future planning and overseas options. It is stressful but so many seem to be pursuing fabulous, varied opportunities. I hope they all come to fruition.

@AnneOfCleavage Not expecting off cuts. Scraggy bits go to make dog food. Did get a free turkey at Christmas though!

@KingscoteStaff Any update on filming?

@ealingwestmum Rome sounds fabulous. Assume much quieter than in summer?

We had a happy accident 18 months ago @EwwSprouts where a summer break to Bologna got postponed to early Jan 2025 due to the Microsoft outage. We had a fabulous time, very little tourists, xmas decorated porticoes etc. So we rebooked to Rome this year, got into everywhere I hadn't done on previous 3 visits without hours of queuing covering 55 walking kms. It was a lovely way for the the 3 of us to destress after family duties over the festive period.

The sketchy comment re holiday choices made me smile @JustHereWithMyPopcorn, such are the strange times that we live in right now. It's lovely that you too have something to look forward to.

Good to hear about all the travel and year abroad plans. HK is one of my favourite places in the world. Oh, how I'd love to spend a year there! We have booked for Cinque Terra and Albania later this year. Anyone been?

House news: I have failed the ID check! As we are helping with the deposit, both of us had to have anti money laundering checks. We sent off the documents in November, only to get an email this week to say I had failed my electronic ID check and they could not tell me why. The up-shot, I have to get my passport and a utility bill certified by a solicitor.

DD (navy) is now fully trained and has found out where her first job is. She is really pleased. She will be near 'her chap', the job is really interesting, she will have another full degree in 18 months and it means she have quite a lot of foreign travel. She is off to Scandinavia to a shore based placement in a few weeks. Hopefully she will get some skiing in too.

@Seeline i see all the ads on social media in how to reduce cortisol levels, clearly those people do not have teenagers/ young adults in their lives! 😂. Fingers crossed your DD gets settled with something soon.

@ealingwestmum your Rome trip sounds lovely - especially without the massive summer crowds. Yes, very uncertain times at the moment and secretly I’m glad he doesn’t want the states but equally I’m not all that sure about China either politically speaking. I did watch Race Across the World this year and the China part did look fabulous but I’m not sure he’s done that much research yet!

@Aslockton wow that training time seems to have been really fast for your DD. I’m glad her first job is somewhere she’s happy with.
How odd about your ID check, maybe it’s that your passport is coming to its expiry date? Most likely just a computer glitch thing, hopefully all will be sorted soon.

Hi everyone, lovely to hear about your christmases, travels etc. we are back to work with a vengeance. DD1 and ds1 returned from their travels today so nice to see them briefly- they are back off to work/study in london tomorrow. Ds3 is here for the last few days of his holiday but doing a fair amount of dissertation writing.

Dd4 has not made a ucas application while saying she “might”, has not said a single word about culinary school since being taken to Paris to look at them on her request, is still working 14hrs a day 6 days a week in the same averagely crappy pub kitchen as she has been since last April save for her 5 weeks at uni before dropping out, and hasn’t even looked for jobs in better places despite saying she would. I have had enough of the lack of plans, ambition, communication and frankly honesty and have told her that the deal is that we support them financially through education and training to achieve independence but if she isn’t being educated or trained and does not want our advice then she is independent. So she has until 1 July - if by then she has no educational plans and is just working in a kitchen she will need to move out. And pay us £500 pcm rent between now and then. We won’t offer any more advice unless she comes to us and asks for it (she has been moaning to her siblings that we are ‘on her back’).

She was shocked but agreed that was fair. I have no idea at all what she intends to do but at least she will have to make some actual decisions grounded in reality. And the bonus is my stress headache of the last 2 months has lifted.

Ps she is 20 in a few days and because of her insane hours is making about £37k pa gross so I don’t feel independent living is too much to expect

Hang in there @Delphigirl. There may be some movement now after that subtle tectonic plate nudge 🤞

Thank you @ealingwestmum ! Will keep you posted 😄

You are totally doing the right thing.

We charged dd £50 per week when she lived with us for a year prior to starting uni.(she was earning a lot less than your dd. She also used to buy some of her own food at her own insistence. We had also told ds that if he wanted to take a year out that was great but he had to earn his own money & pay keep.

Uni isn’t for everyone, but young people need to learn that they have to start supporting themselves.

I can feel the frustration through the screen @Delphigirl , I too would be feeling the same. If she’s earning that sort of money she should definitely be contributing costs to the household or finding her own place. Hopefully, the verbal kick up the butt will help focus her direction.

Thank you both. She came back from work this evening and was very jolly and chatty and we had a laugh so that is an improvement on her grunting and going to bed as previously. I’m feeling positive about it!

She obviously needed a bit of a push @Delphigirl . Good luck with next steps!

@Delphigirl - we are also charging DD rent. She’s paying us £400 per month and earning £31k pa. We did give her 6 months rent free to get herself sorted out. She moans about it occasionally, but agrees that it’s fair.

@Delphigirl do you think there’s something else going on ? A relationship with someone at work maybe??

@crazycrofter we did wonder but there is a constant cast of changing characters there and the only constant is a small round guy with no teeth aged about 50 who she delights in telling me keeps informing her that he thinks I am “a very good looking woman” 🤣🤣. There honestly does not appear to be anyone of interest at all.
@OublietteBravo i think it is so important that they have meaningful contributions to living costs. Nothing focusses the mind more than knowing you have to pay rent/a mortgage.

Haha @Delphigirl , sounds unlikely then! 😂

A very belated happy new year to you all.
Sorry, I'm not very up to date with what's going on with you all as I've not been visiting the thread.
The only news here that all students appear to be ok.
Dd1 had a traumatic sudden split with her live in boyfriend & he subsequently moved out, leaving her shell shocked. Brothers, sisters & myself all rallied around & she's now through the worse.
Dd2 had an awful time at the end of her ski holiday when her boyfriends mother ( via the sister) had a litany of complaints against her. She was told she was disliked & has never behaved correctly. They've been together since lower 6th & live together in London.
She's always hung out with the sisters & behaved beautifully. So she left the house abruptly without speaking to the mother. Who sounds absolutely batshit. I'll leave you all to guess the nationality here.
I've never believed tales of nasty mother in laws.
Now I do!

We need to have the rent conversation with DS too, similarly I was giving him a buffer of a few months and he is only working 3 days on not much more than minimum wage plus his PIP so it will be token. I have been helping him with job applications again this week and it has reinforced how much support I still give him at times over and above normal household support therefore a contribution from the PIP at least seems reasonable. He does buy quite a lot of his own food, but that's all. However with his ND he is not ready for independent living and we don't have the attitude issues, DS is genuinely trying to better himself (lots of volunteering for example) - in your position @Delphigirl I'd feel exactly the same. More power to your elbow.

@cantonet - your poor DD’s! Is the ‘mother in law’ from a European country? I honestly have no idea 🤣 but it sounds horrible and stressful, and worrying for the future if she hopes this relationship is going to last. Hope your Dd1 can move forward without too much impact on her self-confidence 🤞

Gosh I've missed a lot over this week! Been ill with medication for back side effects but feeling on the mend now.

I think you're doing exactly the right thing @Delphigirl . I will support education and training but beyond that we've told DS he needs to contribute or be independent. His GF comes from an extremely wealthy background and I think that has made him unable to see that that isn't our lifestyle or situation.....

Nothing much else to report. DS is 22 tomorrow
His GF was up at the weekend which wasn't easy as I was feeling terrible but I made it through! No news from Army or RAF. Same old same old...

@Cantonet oh gosh that sounds like a miserable time for both DDs lately! I hope they are both OK and time maybe for your DD2 to consider carefully if she wants to be involved long term with a MIL like that!

Happy birthday to your DS tomorrow @craggyrat !