Would you let your 18 and older child go out with whoever they want, wherever they want and whenever they want even if still living at home? Why or why not? How would you go about it?

[HangryGreyBiscuit]

Complex topic in my view, and would like views from fellow parents.

“Let them”? At 18, how do you stop them, other than eviction. They’re adults.

If the 18yo is still at school we would be working together to come up with a reasonable plan - but if they are at work or at university of course it’s okay. Why on earth would you stop them?

Going out at 8pm is perfectly fine - why are you asleep?

Other thing I should say is whilst once they’re adults I don’t ’let Then’ or ‘stop them’ from doing things, i will sometimes give a mild ‘can I suggest you don’t go out clubbing until 6am if you have to get up early for work the next day’ or something like that. But it’s only ever a suggestion to give them something to think about. It’s up to them if they take it on board or not tbh.

Crikey if my kids in their late teens weren’t out at night seeing friends/ love interests / doing hobbies/ going to concerts and. Festivals/ hanging out and yes -even getting shitfaced on occasion- I’d be terrified I’d raised little socially isolated, friendless, little recluses that were destined for lonliness and missing out on all the wonderfuL fun stuff of youth that I remember as fondly as I do x

I’m really baffled as to what the problem is with her doing that.

My 18 year old is still in school but can come and go as he pleases. He is a very diligent student though so doesn't do late nights on school nights and always makes time for study. We are very open and the teenagers usually tell me what they are up to, if I think its something dumb I will usually say that doesn't sound very smart and give reasons why I think so. I don't forbid things with my 18yo though and rarely have to with my 16yo.

That said - Woe betide my 21 year old twins , 22 year old DSD or 24 year old son still at home making a racket coming in and waking us up - sod that .
the eldest forgot his key at 4am back in August and I found him in the garden in the morning kipping on a sun lounger with an Xmas present sack over him he’d found in the garage.
Absolute bellend for losing his key but he was respectful in not waking everyone up by backing in the front door - all part of growing up and we all survived to tell the tale!

At 18 they are adults and should be treated as such ( and really this should have been a quiet build up of trust and independence throughout the teen years so that you have a independent and capable late teen who can within reason fend for themselves responsibly by 18) HOWEVER as an adult they also need to understand the house rules, mutual respect and consideration. That means , in my house, keeping the place tidy, letting others know if you’ll be out late or not back etc. it means be quiet and respectful coming and going at unsocial hours. Etc etc .