Thread 54 - Summer 25 - Graduations after Uni Year 3

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 53:
Thread53

I hope so, she's very shy. But also resilient and independent. Just got to let her get on with it now.

All the best to your dd @ExtensivelyDecorating - I'm sure she'll be fine. It's great that she was confident enough to let you leave quickly so she can get on with it!

We seem to have spent the whole day getting ds to Nottingham and sorted, despite it only being an hour and a half a way! He didn't start packing till this morning.... so we got there about 2.30, then dd was keen for us to visit her at Nando's - and her manager agreed to give us free meals, so that was a bonus! But obviously delayed everything.. Then we took about 2 hours trying to find everything he still needed in a B&M and Range which had been totally ransacked, half the shelves cleared before we got there! Finally left at 8.30. Ds was fine, he was planning to talk to his flatmates and then go to the gym.

He's also planning to join a load of societies - board games, ice skating, powerlifting, a capella singing, Christian Union, Politics and probably some others I've forgotten! I really don't think he'll have time for all that, but we'll see...

Golly @crazycrofter that all
sounds a bit stressful! But I think your DS will have a blast. DD was actually quite organised this time, she got me to take her to Ikea a few weeks ago then Costco for bulk coffee and sweets last week. But there was still a lot of packing this morning and one or two small things did get left here. She's closer than DS was, only half an hour or so from either of our workplaces so if anything really important is forgotten it's ok, that knowledge made us a bit more relaxed about packing I think. A couple of times we had to get something to DS urgently and it was a bit of a pain. Memorably rhe time I drove him back on a Sun afternoon (3 hour round trip) only to get a call half an hour later saying he'd left his laptop at our house. DH did that one and charged him for petrol.

Oh no, that would be annoying! We actually managed to leave behind ds' meal prep (4 high protein meals) which I'd kindly agreed to make for him this morning so that he had time to pack. But dd is back this week for her driving test so I've put them in the freezer and she can return them to him next weekend.

Both dd and ds (and dh and me to be honest) are very disorganised, so I don't think it would be wise for them to be any further away from home than they are!

Hope your DCs settle well @crazycrofter and @ExtensivelyDecorating and good luck to your DD for her driving test this week @crazycrofter . It seems really odd not to be making that trip south after 3 years!

DS is enjoying the archaeology. He had a week away last week - they were digging in the Dales so they're put up in an Airbnb. This week he is back in Leeds at base and then I think he will be away next week. He's starting to look at jobs for post Xmas when contract finishes to get different experience for CV as the distance for this job is exhausting although they have offered another contract so will see. He's also rowing/gyming and Masters swimming so pretty full on, along with various applications plus preparing Masters applications. It is lovely but exhausting having him back! The GF came up last week which was a whole new experience for us. But I think it will fizzle as if it comes to a choice between his small amount of free time being spent on sport or GF I know which will win..!

Ive been having loads of hospital tests as was having chest pain. Not sure if radiotherapy has affected the heart area. Am on leave this week so hopefully can relax a bit

@crazycrofter thst sounds exhausting! But glad he is there and settled. I love the breadth of his interests disclosed by that societies list! Fantastic. @craggyrat I’m really sorry to hear about the chest pain but glad they are taking it so seriously. Fingers crossed. Your DS also sounds to be living life to the full with his work and further education and sport and romance! So lovely to hear about.

my Dd has survived freshers week - really enjoyed it I think- says that she has landed on her feet with nice flatmates, joined music/band soc, archery soc (?!), not sure what else, and has got a timetable which has 24 hours of contact time over 4 days a week. Full on! She will need her Wednesdays off.

@Delphigirl archery club is top of my DD's list, she has been doing it since she was about 10. Glad yours has settled in ok.

It sounds lovely @ExtensivelyDecorating , I’m just surprised because I don’t think she’s ever done it before! But that’s what uni is for of course…

Yes, I'm hoping DD will try a few new things. She's taken her archery stuff, luckily her room is quite big.

Thanks @Delphigirl glad your DD has had a good Freshers Week

Great news from @Delphigirl dd - hope she continues to explore new interests and enjoy everything on offer. 24 hours is a lot - what's her subject again?

@craggyrat your ds sounds like he's making the most of life too! I know what you mean about it being a bit exhausting when they're home - I'm going to try to enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts...

Have you heard from your dd @ExtensivelyDecorating ?

Glad to hear all the newbies have settled in well at Uni.
It's such a good time to try new things. Ds2 hasn't had the societies day yet. It doesn't seem to be on in fresher's week but is next week in Bristol.
He had a bit of a blip on Friday & stayed in his room all day until his flatmates knocked on his door. Social engineering means he's been paired with international students/Asian students because of his school & name. But he's very much English. And the Chinese students all stick together & he's probably not Chinese enough for them 🤔 I've told him he will be fine in due course...
@craggyrat i hope the tests get to the source of the problem. Your ds's life sounds very full on.

Hope things settle down for your Ds @Cantonet . That’s a shame about the flatmates but hopefully he’ll meet friends elsewhere too. We met two of Ds’ flatmates yesterday (a third was smoking weed in his room with friends 😬) and both were very quiet engineering students at Nottingham Trent - quite different to ds. He’s not too bothered as long as there’s no issues or tensions in his flat - fingers crossed!

arabic with a sideline in Persian!

DS now deposited in Sheffield. He drove up the M1 with me sitting 'calmy and supportively' next to him.

His house is in a lovely street. Shame the front door is in his room!

Hope things sort themselves out for DS @Cantonet - I was in a flat with a HK Chinese girl and an Iranian girl who very much stuck to friendship groups from their countries, neither mixed with the rest of us at all although they were nice when we did exchange words. The others were fine though.

Glad your is in ok too @Piggywaspushed

No, I haven't heard from DD yet, apart from an exchange of photos of cats.

Good luck to all those with DC starting this year! And sorry to hear about medical concerns, @craggyrat.

DD is - a month in - still looking for any NMW part-time job to tide her over while she also contacts various leads about her art. She is proving very resilient, at least (and is currently at a first-round group interview for a seasonal retail position). I can't fault her; she's applying to everything that comes up.

DS is on his gap-year, currently backpacking with a friend in Vietnam, and being... more adventurous than I would have guessed, in food and travel.

Pleased to hear all Freshers have settled in!

@craggyrat hope your medical issues are sorted soon.

@PhotoDad it took until November last year for my graduate DS to find a NMW job here in S London - it's really tough out there. He didn't even get an interview for the job he had been doing in a coffee shop chain in his uni city for 18 months with excellent reference from his boss when he applied in our local branch!

DS is safely delivered back to Nottingham. It was a bit odd navigating the trams and bus lanes after a year away but hopefully got away with no tickets. His flat is lovely with a huge balcony overlooking a football pitch and a railway line. No idea on his flatmates yet 😬

Thanks for the good wishes everyone.

Good to hear everyone settling in - or back in - to uni life. Hope your DS has a great gsp year @PhotoDad and your DD finds something workwise soon

@craggyrat adding good wishes from me too.

@PhotoDad I'm going to be in your neck of the woods this week visiting my relatives (I mentioned one of them to you before), sadly for a funeral. I have been surprised at how fast the train journeys are. I agree, it's a really tough market out there. When DS graduated one of the uni people said in their speech this is just one step in your career, many of you will still have a journey to get the job you really want, focus on your first steps, you will get there. DS has a 2 day/week NMW seasonal job finishing next week and starting another one but it was a close shave because it's retail and he said he'd prefer weekdays in his cover letter because of his sport. So after the interview they phoned and said sorry we need Saturdays so that wouldn't work for you but we'll keep you in mind if a weekday job comes up and he said ok, luckily I was in the room and overheard and said ring them back right now and say you'll do Saturdays, your sport can wait so he did. He is also volunteering 2 days a week, trying to find more specifically relevant volunteering and networking.

Best of luck to those grads looking for volunteering and paid work @PhotoDad @ExtensivelyDecorating and others- all the young people on this group are so resilient, I’m sure they will get there, but it might take time and a lot of frustration along the way.

Hope you get to the bottom of your health issues @craggyrat and it’s nothing serious.

@PhotoDad hope uour Ds has a great gap year. Tell him to stay awake from the motorbikes in Vietnam!

@PhotoDad i meant stay away, not awake! When ds came back from his travels, we discovered that he'd come off a motorbike at least four or five times - in addition to (and after!) the time that hospitalised him 😫

@craggyrat Sorry to hear you are in pain. I hope the cause is found soon and relief offered.

@Cantonet I hope your DS ventures out and meets people. You have my empathy as DS was in a similar situation in yr1. He was sharing with a boy from China who never came out of his room, a nice enough boy from HK who was only over for a year (and spent weekends with his HK girlfriend at York univ) and a boy from Pakistan who never socialised. But the good news is DS became friendly with those in the flat below and they went on to share in yr2.

Good luck to all seeking work. Hopefully Christmas roles will at least start soon. @Seeline that is tough.

@PhotoDad Hope your DS stays save from Typhoon Ragasa!
Whilst DS is starting his final year, I have DD doing her Art Foundation this year at our local college and I liked the look of Cambridge Art School when we visited on an Open Day last year. We're off to visit Bristol (UWE) next month which she is pretty keen on too.