Thread 54 - Summer 25 - Graduations after Uni Year 3

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 53:
Thread53

Thanks Piggy and Ealing. I didn’t think of cctv. I will ask her to think about reporting. He may have done this before. She is going to speak to the international coordinator at her college . Her boyfriend’s Mum is very kind and loving, I hope they tell her what happened. I think her boyfriend may be a bit out of his depth. I told her to tell everyone! men have got away with this stuff since time began by banking on women’s shame and embarrassment .

@Zebracat how truly awful! I know what you mean that our children are adults, but I’d be out there to support if she wanted me to. Maybe give her some time to calm down then reassess.

@Zebracat So sorry for your DD. Glad she got away and so was able to put a stop to the incident. I agree with tell many people so she hears from all that she was a victim and couldn't have stopped him starting. I hope CCTV identifies him.

@Zebracat so sorry that this happened. I agree - see how she is after the weekend, and go and visit if it still seems that she needs someone.

Thanks all. I’ve asked her to think about reporting, and I’ve told her I’m happy to come over if she wants me. I’ve also suggested she ask for a session on Zoom with her English psychologist , happy to pay for that, but I don’t know if it’s appropriate, as it was long term therapy rather than reactive.

I’m so sorry to hear that, @Zebracat , your poor girl. Definitely go over if she needs you - much better than her coming home and maybe finding it hard to go back. I hope she can also report it to the rail company/police, so she feels that’s she’s done something.She’s proven herself to be stronger than you or she thought over the last couple of years, so hopefully she’ll be able to get past this in time.

@Zebracat im so sorry to hear what your poor girl is going through. I hope you get to see her soon if that would help her and that she reports what happened if she feels able to.

I'm sorry @Zebracat . I don't have much to add to the wise words from others but I'd agree with preparing to go over if needed and listen to your instincts, she has done so well with your support these last few years.

Sorry to hear about your YP’s experience @Zebracat. You’ve done the right thing in offering to go over if she needs you.

Sorry to hear your update @Zebracat. I hope she can manage to put it behind her and get back to enjoying her experience.

We’re on the road today delivering DS back to Newcastle for his second year. We’ve of cars filled full of student essentials, so we’re clearly not alone.

Haha, oubliette, I love spotting the student returners. She seems a lot happier today, she went out last night and again today , so I’m hoping she will be ok.

I’m so sorry and angry that she was subjected to that, Zebracat.
Any woman, whatever their age, would feel threatened and upset by it, so she has no need to be embarrassed.
I hope she can access some support, either via uni or via her therapist.
DD has really noticed an increase in creepy/horrible behaviour from men lately. I know it’s always been so, but it seems to be worsening.
All we can do is call such behaviour out whenever we get the chance.

@Zebracat that's a truly upsetting thing to have happened to anyone. Let alone happening to someone who has been exposed to trauma in the past. But yes your yp does sound pretty resilient & will hopefully bounce back.

Dropped off ds2 to Bristol Uni yesterday. Lovely accommodation in a building built by Brunel. It was bloody awful moving the stuff from the car park into the halls as there were no trolleys left & no help. Luckily dd1's boyfriend helped us as we wouldn't have managed without him.
Hopefully he will stay the course this time 🤦🏼🤞🏼

Bless her @Zebracatthat hideous to have witnessed esp with past trauma experienced. This happened to me whilst on a train in Lisbon recently but I had my DH with me who voiced his disgust and there was a unpleasant altercation as he obv wasn’t used to being challenged and kicked out at us and leapt off the train at next stop and punched the window where we were sat. Felt very shaky but I had DH so what your girl must have felt would have been so much worse.
I’m glad she has you to chat to and know you are willing to come over despite not liking to fly.

DD went back yesterday afternoon (3rd year) and drove up with DH and he then took 3 trains and a replacement bus home. She’s already had to go to the uni library for help today as couldn’t log in to her account and her first day is a full day of lectures and seminars tomorrow. She’s now sorted thankfully and also done a food shop. We’re going to visit next Sat to bring up everything she’s forgotten.
That’s Pretty poor @Cantonet not having ambassadors around to help or trolleys. Not a great start for DS but glad it got done in the end. Is he first year?
Hope DS is all moved In and sorted now too @OublietteBravoready for 2nd year. Glad there’s still a few of us with DC still at Uni so this thread keeps going 😊

We're still in the midst of packing and organising as DD goes next weekend. Got DS's graduation this week too, going to be a busy one.

@Cantonetwhich accommodation? When dd moved in 3 years ago we got a trolley but there was no one to help. I didn’t expect help until I read that other uni’s did that!!

Mine returned this weekend too. I dodged a bullet and stayed home whilst DH flew over with her and her clobber, running around different homes in outer Dublin to retrieve the storage boxes left in kind friends’ lofts whilst she was on her year abroad.

She is happy with her humongous on campus room and new flat mates, a mixture of 4th and 5th year medics and engineers. She has a wonderful view, but the downside is her raised ground bedroom window is the TCD tours pit stop for the Book of Kells. I think she may need to invest in some good ear plugs :)

So sorry to hear of DD's awful experience zebra.

@NCTDN it was the Brunel Building. Beautiful accommodation inside.
They only seemed to have very few trolleys. So first come, first served.
Years ago Dd1 moved into Goldney Hall in Bristol on a day with torrential downpours. There were helpers n trolleys but they were all mostly sheltering from the rain & spectacularly useless 😂

Been reading but not posting lately. Sorry to hear what happened to your girl @Zebracat

DS went to Barcelona for a few days and was paranoid about pickpockets. He of course had his phone stolen, plus his driving license (3rd one) and bank card. Luckily he was with good friends who could lend him money and look after him. His mental health has taken a knock and he doesn't want to talk about it. He also can't log into anything until he gets a replacement phone, which he can't afford, as everything needs to be authenticated. I'm sure life used to be simpler. And he can't get served in the pub without ID because he still looks under 18 apparently 🤦‍♂️
I'm taking him back to Nottingham next Sunday so have spent today trying to remember where I stored all the stuff he didn't need in France.
DD has been back in Aber for a month already and finally has a job interview tomorrow. She did have a job lined up when she first went back but they found a Welsh speaker and went back on the offer (seems to be a common occurrence amongst her friends). Fingers crossed for this one.

DD has just worked 2 full days as an ambassador for move in weekend. They are told specifically not to help carry stuff as there is no insurance either if there is damage to items or to them. Doesn't stop parents being rude to them though 😡

That sounds like a rough trip for your DS @mummyinbeds, I am not surprised his confidence has been knocked.

It's the one place in Spain that I've grown to loath due to the theft. I used to love Barcelona, but the opportunists are so blatant and visible in their tactics, but still successful every day in what they do.

I hope your DD's job interview went well today.

Oh no! What a pain for him . Poor thing.

Bum bags are the way forward, sadly.

You are right : life used to be so straightforward.

DS1 snapped his car key. What a palaver. I have now sellotaped it together.

@Piggywaspushed he did actually take a bum bag (reluctantly). That's why he still has his passport.
How do you snap a car key?

@Zebracat so sorry to read what happened to your DD. I hope they caught him on CCTV.

My news is we have moved DD2 to York. She is settling in and making friends. DD1 is going back to uni next week for her final year.