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Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Thread 54 - Summer 25 - Graduations after Uni Year 3

987 replies

Oblomov25 · 20/06/2025 17:15

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 53:
Thread53

Thread 53 - Covid GCSE Cohort - Happy New Year 2025 to our fab young people | Mumsnet

New thread! Looking forward to traversing 2025 with this fantastic group 🎉😘

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parents_of_adult_children/5238666-thread-53-covid-gcse-cohort-happy-new-year-2025-to-our-fab-young-people

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Cantonet · 25/07/2025 10:58

You must be so relieved @ExtensivelyDecorating. Well done to your ds.@Delphigirl all those lessons 😱😂
It's my twins 21st today. Siblings meet up tomorrow to celebrate birthday in London with a a Mango cream cake being transported by dd1 from Bristol to London, via a gender reveal party. Best tips for keeping it cool please 😳🤔.Dd1 very much regretting ordering it now & I very much doubt there will be fridge space at the party.

Delphigirl · 25/07/2025 11:20

Cantonet · 25/07/2025 10:58

You must be so relieved @ExtensivelyDecorating. Well done to your ds.@Delphigirl all those lessons 😱😂
It's my twins 21st today. Siblings meet up tomorrow to celebrate birthday in London with a a Mango cream cake being transported by dd1 from Bristol to London, via a gender reveal party. Best tips for keeping it cool please 😳🤔.Dd1 very much regretting ordering it now & I very much doubt there will be fridge space at the party.

Edited

Ahhhh happy birthday to them!!!! Can’t help about the cake, sounds complex unless you have a massive cool box it will fit in?

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 25/07/2025 11:37

Happy 21st birthday to your DTwins @Cantonet ! cool box and ice packs for the cake - and good luck!

ealingwestmum · 25/07/2025 11:40

Happy 21st to your 2 @Cantonet! The cake sounds yum. At this stage at least ;)

crazycrofter · 25/07/2025 15:30

Happy birthday to your twins @Cantonet ! Hope they have a fab celebration and the cake survives intact!

AnneOfCleavage · 25/07/2025 15:51

Happy 21st to your twins @Cantonet
The cake sounds yummy so fingers crossed it survives the trip - it’ll still taste good even if a little smushed.

Seeline · 25/07/2025 16:21

Happy birthday to your twins @Cantonet !

My suggestion for the cake - take a photo and eat it on the way 😆🫢

NCTDN · 25/07/2025 20:32

Happy twins birthday !!

Here is a driving question for you - would love your opinions please. DD was home from her year abroad for three days when someone drove into the back of her. They’ve admitted they are at fault. I’m just so grateful that DD is fine, miraculously she came away with a scratch.
Anyway the car has been declared a right off Sad We need to decide what to do. DD has one more year at uni but whilst she’s been away, DS has used the car for learning to drive and then for driving to college every day. He’s due to go to uni in September.
So if they’re both away at uni, do we replace it ? It seems silly for a car to be sat on the drive but public transport by us is pretty dire so when they’re home, they would be very limited with their independence. I’m also conscious that DD probably needs to get driving again in case her confidence has been knocked, and DS has only been driving a year so don’t want him to lose that skill. DHs car is a company one that can’t be used by them, and mine is too powerful (plus I need it for work).
WWYD?

ealingwestmum · 25/07/2025 22:14

We have a second car @NCTDN which incurs this dilemma, which I hate for a whole host of reasons but still endure to keep DD driving, even if only for a few days each year.

The car is in DH’s name unlike her previous car 1st car. The insurance is with Admiral. For a £10 admin fee, she can drive the car (or our car for that matter) for £7 per day. So if she was back and wanted the option to drive over a 2 week period, it would be £10 admin charge, and then 14 x £7, even If she actually only ended up driving 3 of those days. If she was back and wanted to drive for only one day, it would be £10 admin plus 1 x £7. He rings them up each time to set up.

Sorry for being simplistic in that explanation, this was the most cost effective way (for us where we live) vs having her on an annual insurance which she would have hardly used, whilst still keeping the option open if she had wanted to drive.

She won’t drive our car as it’s a decent range automatic and she’s too scared, so small old manual run around is the fallback option.

blinkbonny · 25/07/2025 23:16

End of an era for us today with baby blink’s graduation ceremony. All went off without a hitch, though traffic problems in the M1 up to Notts caused delays (when do they ever not?). But we made it in time for our lunch reservation with his lovely girlfriend, and to get him gowned and hatted and ready in good time.

The service was nice - the hall (in the sports hall) had been well decorated and they managed the ENORMOUS number of degree presentations as quickly as could be done, while still giving people their brief moment on the stage. My mother and sibling watched from their home (abroad) so it was lovely to have them be a part of it too.

The main presenter wasn’t great - not the chancellor, I didn’t catch what her title actually was. She started off presenting from the wrong area of the stage and wasn’t miked, realised her mistake and scurried to the lectern; did ok for a bit then lost her place in her notes so read out the same paragraph twice! I was mentally asking, “Did you even rehearse?”

I do feel a bit “emosh” that I have no more children as students - they’re all definitely adults, now! But I’m so pleased for all he’s achieved and how he’s grown. Now I look forward to what happens next!

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 26/07/2025 06:38

@NCTDN I’m sorry your DD was in an accident, it’s always a worry when they are out driving I hope she’s OK. Is the car a financial write off or is it actually undrivable/unsafe. If it’s just the financial side you can buy it back from them. If not then I would buy another cheap run around for them.

@blinkbonny were heading up to Notts this morning, what was the problem with the traffic? Is it still the ‘smart motorway’ thing where they are changing the speed limits every five seconds? I’m hoping our presenter gets through the people quickly, there’s 400 on the law course and DS is at the end of the alphabet!! 😂. How was the parking on site?

Aslockton · 26/07/2025 07:40

@NCTDN yes do check if the car is actually a right-off. DH had a lorry shed its load and hit his car. It ripped off the driver’s wing mirror and scratched and dented the driver’s side of the car. The insurance wrote it off and offered 3k. He decided to keep the car, accepted 2.5k from the insurance, got a local mechanic to fit a new wing mirror for £160 and rub away some scratches, but live with the dents. He had to get it re- mot-ed before he could drive it, but he wanted to keep a mechanically sound car.

blinkbonny · 26/07/2025 07:56

@JustHereWithMyPopcornI’m not sure what caused the problem, but there was a 30min delay between Luton and Milton Keynes: we diverted off to the A5 but not sure it made any difference as it clearly wasn’t an original idea so there was a LOT of traffic. Once we got back onto the M1 after the jam it was OK, but we’d only allowed 30min wiggle room in the timings for the day so it was a little tight. Hopefully will be all clear for you today.

The ceremony was well managed, it’s a lot of clapping so pace yourself! They did it all about as efficiently as could be for the size of the crowd, very quick queue-shake-walk-shake-exit system across the stage. Seating was first come first served so we were not close to the stage but the big screens are good and tbh we got better photos before and after than the ones of the actual “moment”. We had booked to park on site, presumably they have ANPR because no-one asked to see our proof of booking - the parking is clearly signposted with tracking laid down over the grass on the Downs and people in high-vis there to guide you. Best wishes to your kernel as he pops today!

NCTDN · 26/07/2025 09:35

That’sa lovely comment for @JustHereWithMyPopcorn- Good luck to your kernel as he pops Smile

The cat has been declared structurally unsafe to repair as he went into the back of the car with such force Angry That’s why I’m so amazed that DD just got a scratch.

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 26/07/2025 10:00

Thank you @blinkbonny I love that comment! 😄

We are past Luton but DS has called us, he’s just witnessed a three car shunt 😟 he is about half an hour ahead of us so I imagine that’s going to snarl things up for us coming through. I hope everyone involved is OK. 😢

It’s tipping it down at the moment, please can everyone do a little sun prayer please!

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 26/07/2025 10:02

@NCTDN that sounds bad, amazing that she managed to avoid whiplash injury! If the car is unsafe then I would get another run around for them to share.

crazycrofter · 26/07/2025 10:16

Oh dear @JustHereWithMyPopcorn , praying for sunshine and no traffic jams! What time is the ceremony?

Sorry to hear about DD’s accident @NCTDN , glad she was unharmed. I think you should get another car, even though it seems an unnecessary expense. Would you allow one of them to take it to uni? Dd had hers there, until she lost her licence and it was very useful.

On that note, she messaged yesterday to say she’s literally lost her provisional licence, can’t find it anywhere 😩

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 26/07/2025 11:03

Accident only caused a short delay @crazycrofter so looks like it wasn’t too serious thankfully.
Ceremony is not til 4pm but we are lunching at 12 with one of his housemates and their family.
What a pain about the licence! Can your DD order a new one?

EwwSprouts · 26/07/2025 11:58

Lovely to hear of more graduations. It seems to be a summer of many soggy graduations but my fingers are crossed for you @JustHereWithMyPopcorn

@NCTDN Relieved your DD is okay. If public transport is limited I would lean towards buying a run around.

@Cantonet Happy 21sts! Have a lovely day. Mango cake sounds divine.

OublietteBravo · 26/07/2025 12:26

At DDs graduation there was a point where the wrong list was being read out and no one was appearing on stage. The professor chap kept looking hopefully into the wings, but no one emerged. It was sorted out eventually (after about 30ish names had been read out), and the first graduate out once the correct list had been found got a huge cheer!

blinkbonny · 26/07/2025 14:02

@OublietteBravo there was similar at Notts yesterday - it was Geography, then Sociology, but midway through Sociology suddenly there was an announcement of “also conferring the degree of Geography to xx” - clearly someone got missed in the first half and had to be patched in to the second! I guess it is a lot of names to keep track of.

Hope the weather has cleared up @JustHereWithMyPopcorn and you have a lovely lunch and celebration.

Oblomov25 · 26/07/2025 21:28

@blinkbonny
Congrats re graduation.
sorry to hear of Notts main presenter being poor. Why is Notts like this, so good in some areas, so utterly shite in others?

OP posts:
Oblomov25 · 26/07/2025 21:30

Prays for Popcorn sun ☀️.

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JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 27/07/2025 07:56

We had a lovely day once the nightmare of navigating Notts town centre’s closed roads and eventually finding a car park near the restaurant was over! Lovely lunch with one of DS’s housemates and his family who we know as the boys went to school together. After lunch the sun shone beautifully. No tripping up on stage and lots of unruly cheering for DS and his law housemates and then drinks after. The best bit (and I’m only half joking) was probably driving home afterwards with a CLEAR MOTORWAY all the way home! I’ve never seen the M1 so empty!! 😮😮 DS stayed up there for more celebrations.

Early rise this morning to drop DS2 at school for his US trip and we have a first birthday party to attend this afternoon. This weekend has been full on.

Shimy · 28/07/2025 12:37

Congratulations to all those graduating again and so pleased to hear about the lovely ceremonies. I've been wondering whether any of you will be throwing 'graduation parties' for your young people? It's the normal thing in some places but I don't seem to come across it much in the UK. I'm talking with food and drinks etc can be a formal event or more casual. I know things tend to be more low key in Britain but would be interested to know.