Thread 50 - Covid GCSE Cohort - New Year of Adulting

[OrangeSpicedBun]

2024 here we are... our young people are still getting used to adulting and we're still doing that adulting thing ...it's tough !

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parents_of_adult_children/4922401-thread-49-covid-gcse-cohort-the-nights-are-drawing-in?page=10

DD had no trouble learning shoelaces and learned to ride a bike more easily and younger than DS (who is two years older). Never really had to show DD how to do laces either she just picked it up. She was great at assembling lego kits too, DS couldn't follow the pictures. I notice it with DH too, he can't make head not tail of the instructions for flatpack furniture so I direct and he does all the screws and bolts.

I have had a good week, my football team won their league as champions, I have been to the last three home games (all in the last 3 weeks) with old friends, we have been going to the matches together for 40 years now, it has been truly memorable. But back down to earth with a bit of a bump now as DS's PIP renewal (disability benefits, remember I was stressed about this back in Jan) has turned into them wanting to do an interview with him, I was really hoping they would just approve it on the paperwork. It is so stressful, you feel as though you are some sort of fraudster trying to claim money you're not entitled to. Which is of course the govt's POV. It's by phone in a couple of weeks, I will have to go up to uni and do it with him. In the meantime I've got to dredge through all the paperwork and prepare for it yet again. Anyone who says claiming these things is far too easy is very wrong.

My DD found driving tricky. If it hadn’t been a requirement for her placement year then she might have given up. Passed the theory fine but then took over two years of lessons. She is actually a good driver but lacks confidence.

Sounds incredibly stressful @EffortlessDistraction - hope it goes well with phone interview. Good news for your team though!

Just had nice call with DS as we go on holiday without him next weekend for a fortnight. I think they're all a bit stressed as exam season is kicking in.

Thanks @craggyrat . Yes to exam stress, DS doesn't have exams so not quite the same but he has got an onslaught of assignments to finish in the next couple of weeks, he was working away all through the Easter holidays and I have been remotely proofreading for him since he went back. He's coming home for a little break next weekend as there is a lads night out planned here.

Dd found it impossible to learn to drive a manual. After a block of 10 lessons her instructor said he didn’t think she’d ever manage to pass in one. Her confidence was really knocked and she’s just starting to learn in an automatic. It seems to be going slightly better but it’s early days. I’ve often wondered if she’s slightly dyspraxia, it would make sense. She’s yet to sit her theory test but regularly fails practice ones on line!

Somehow I've not checked this thread for ages - sorry to hear about health concerns etc.

@EffortlessDistraction does your team begin with P? If so my DH and DS are supporters (DH's home city) so are very happy right now.

DD went back for the summer term today. She decided to drive - well her boyfriend drove to his uni house about half way, then she carried on for the last 3 hours. She has a tiny, old car, so relieved she got there in one piece. It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test because of nerves, so her wanting to do such a long drive was quite a surprise. I think it has been motivated by things going pear shaped with some of her housemates. The last term has been really difficult, and a couple of them have decided to leave the house next year, so things are a bit tense. Having her car means she can escape and go to the coast etc.

Sympathy to all those with car woes. We are so reliant on them and long gone are the days of wiping the spark plugs and a spray of WD40!

@EffortlessDistraction Good luck! You can look up the amount of benefits that go unclaimed each year and it's a huge amount. Something wrong with the system if those eligible can't readily access what society has deemed reasonable assistance.

@KingscoteStaff Good to see you.

@cariadambyth DS’s confidence grew rapidly once he switched from manual to auto last summer, fortunately I have a small auto so we were able to do lots of practice together but there is still quite some way to go with maneuvres. Not to mention the theory test. Anyway, he’ll be back from mid May so we will have another summer to practice together.

@GoldenRuby yes! My home city too. DH isn’t interested in football so I still go with my school friends, DS comes with me when he can and loves it, but he supports a Premier League team, so we have each other’s teams as second favourites. Interestingly he can’t actually bring himself to watch his own team even on TV, it sends him into complete overwhelm (autism thing), but he loves coming to mine because there isn’t so much resting on it for him. He was a bit gutted to have not been able to come to this weeks games (I only got to go because one of my friends was away and let me have his seat).

@EwwSprouts I never thought of that. All I hear is the narrative of benefit scroungers and that far too many are on them. Anyway, I have a close relative who is an expert in this stuff, and the CAB have been helping me too (it is particularly hard with disabilities that are not physical, and they may well say, he’s at uni he must be OK, but he’s only there with a shedload of support).

@craggyrat Just had alook again at those opportunities, they actually state 'placement/internship', so i think they offer both paths depending on the applicant, so he should definitely give it a shot.

@KingscoteStaff Welcome back! take your shoes off and have a seat.

I also have car trouble, well it is DS's car, but I arranged to buy it off a friend so I feel responsible. It had a weird thing where the engine would randomly stop firing, then it would be OK when it had cooled down. The friend's garage investigated it loads and could not replicate and we concluded that it only happened when you would on a quarter of the tank or less, so thought it may be rust in the petrol tank. Broke down on his way back from Manchester, even though 3/4 full had to let it cool 4 times, so he didn't want to drive it back. I was going to drive it up for him, and I put in an additive in case it helped, but it broke down properly just before I tried to drive to Manchester. My garage guy is depressed because there is a school being built across the road from his garage and they are changing the parking which will pretty much put him out of business, so he was not in a mood to be helpful(!) so I am doing lots of googling. Have managed to pump through some fuel and half of it is either water or something else colourless! We think we need to get the fuel system completely drained, then who knows whether the injectors are OK. Sigh. Good luck to fellow car sufferers!

@PhotoDad I suggest you put St Andrews on the list for DS to look at, feels like Cambridge by Sea, has fabulous choral scholarships and other excellent choirs (as well as the beach, which I assume is a good thing for him). Their course is Materials Chemistry, which may not be quite right though.

@EffortlessDistraction we seem to be in the same boat! I’m pleased your DS is gaining in confidence now. Automatic definitely seems to be the way forward for some.
we are about to start the GCSE season here, Spanish oral for DS today.

Good luck to all those going through GSCEs/A levels. Soo glad I won't be doing that again!

@Monkey2001 there are professional fuel tank draining people (I may have found this out the hard way when I accidentally filled a diesel car with unleaded a few years ago, realised before I finished and went inside to the attendant who said it happens all the time and handed me a business card for tank-draining person).

Thanks @EffortlessDistraction but I think we would like our mechanic to check the bottom of the tank when he is feeling less grumpy! The tank emptying services cost around £200 and we can get the garage to syphon it out from where it connects to the fuel tank for much less. I am not sure what to do about the fact that most of the fuel is fine.

Car news better than expected. About £350 for gear selector cable but they did say it shouldn't have passed its MOT last month! Everything normal garage had as advisory with corroded brakes and various other issues should have been fails. We knew next year all this was necessary to get through MOT so have just said do the lot now so all omin it is £1k. Cheaper than new car! We had to get cable done just to sell it so we are repairing and keeping.

Glad it wasn’t as bad as you feared craggy although bad about all the other work that needs doing. Older DS bought a car with a two week old MOT which then failed in the First week of owning it and cost £900 to fix. Our garage also said it should never have passed the MOT but not a lot you can do really.

That’s a relief Craggy. And you’ll know DS is driving in a much safer car now.

Cars really aren't cheap to run, are they? Our "bargain" old car recently needed new suspension and timing-belt.

@Monkey2001 Yes, St Andrews is on the list! Didn't know about the choral thing; he's keen to continue his singing, so that's a plus! Thanks.

@craggyrat Oh that's so good to know about the car. Our cars have been behaving themselves so far this yr. Last yr was a different story, 2 brand new batteries were condemned and it ended up being another part that was faulty/getting stuck (forgotten what its called).

Yes, cars can be VERY expensive to run, I think it's important to try and get a good make, I always try to stick to Japanese cars e.g Honda is quite good. It must be MOT'd at least for the next yr or at least 6 months.

@craggyrat Here's another one I've just seen:

https://www.linkedin.com/jobs/view/3904567299

DS has just secured an internship working in the uni on research into and promotion of the legacy if Stuart Hall. Not the It's A Knockout one. It's a bit nicer but good experience.

That's great @Piggywaspushed !

Yes be v happy to have my car back! DS v happy too

Nicer should read as niche!

Aw! @Piggywaspushed Congratulations! It doesn't have to be knockout like you said, ANY work experience is going to give valuable skills and look good on their CV. So glad your DS has found something, is it paid?. Back in the day when i was looking for work experience, I didn't have a clue where to look and what with no internet available too. It really impacted my studies and getting a job afterwards, so I was so determined when DS1 went to uni that he must secure a placement.

It's so tough out there for fresh graduates getting their foot on the career ladder, very few jobs and too many chasing after them.