Thread 50 - Covid GCSE Cohort - New Year of Adulting

[OrangeSpicedBun]

2024 here we are... our young people are still getting used to adulting and we're still doing that adulting thing ...it's tough !

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parents_of_adult_children/4922401-thread-49-covid-gcse-cohort-the-nights-are-drawing-in?page=10

It has to be one thing at a time @EffortlessDistraction , he’s managing really well! My ds is a bit of a one thing at a time person too (ADhD but he also has some autistic traits). There’s no way he’d have managed applying for apprenticeships this year, so I’m glad he’s put that on the back burner for a while.

I hope your ds’ friends sort things out, as it would be really sad for him to lose that group. Ds has a lovely group of friends now, they’re very sociable but it mainly Involves cooking (roasts/cakes/homemade pizzas/burritos!), playing risk and listening to jazz! As well as all the gym sessions…

In Birmingham, all the tenancies basically begin and end on this one huge chaotic day...

@crazycrofter he says another problem this time is that they are all only just coming home and will be back till mid April whereas he goes back next weekend. He has seen one or two separately, maybe that will be the way for a while. Hopefully it will all settle down. There had been talk of going away as a group somewhere this summer but I don’t think that will come to anything, not sure if they would cope TBH. He is doing well, but I do worry when I compare him to his non-ND peers.

Don’t compare him @EffortlessDistraction ! One of my brothers was definitely autistic/ADHD (but no diagnosis back then) and he was very much a late developer. He stayed at home for uni, and then did a few years of call centre type jobs before finally finding his thing (and developing the confidence and maturity to cope with it) around 30. He then married a lovely wife too who helped with the admin/organisation side of life! He’s perfectly well balanced and successful now!

Could I just say that you lot are bloody lovely ❤️. I dipped in and out of these threads or their predecessors from about year 9, at that point I seriously doubted DS would manage A levels let alone university and I felt a bit alone with those problems IRL as well as on MN. But once we got to the Covid era things started looking up for him academically (he HATED having to miss so much school) and you know the rest. I am SO proud of him, he is achieving way more than I thought possible academically, socially and with his work and life skills. It is an absolute pleasure spending time with him, we went for driving practice this afternoon and he did really well and chatted happily about his plans for for his dissertation next year. @crazycrofter you have mentioned your brother before in these conversations and it really is encouraging to hear how well life has turned out for him. Mine had a not dissimilar trajectory and didn't settle into a career or relationship till his 30s.

Well done to your DS on all his news Piggy, sounds like it's all coming together nicely for him.

Thanks to all for the well wishes re DD. It's just starting to feel real after her set back and waiting for Plan B with Beruit being a no -go right now (understandably). And so lovely to see some of the DCs friends going to Egypt too, if any one is going to be at AUC and wants a new buddy for a semester :) Seriously, I think she's going alone (all other arabic learning students have opted for Rabat, Morocco) do let me know if they want to be put in touch!

Consulting's such a broad area isn't it Craggy, don't think mine really knows what it entails yet other than she wants to get some general analyst experience under her belt before she decides what sector she may want to specialise in. I am trying not to feed too much of my own opinions/experiences as I want her to figure this early stage out for herself, and what working environment may suit her.

ED nice post, I cannot comment, only observe (and marvel) at what support you all have for each other re your YP and ND challenges to ensure they continue to thrive amidst the set backs at times.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate

@ealingwestmum - DS is going to mention to his Egypt bound friends about your DD if they end up in Cairo.

@EffortlessDistraction it is lovely to have such a supportive board. My DS often asks how the other DC on this board are doing - usually something like ' How's the boy who liked history and used to swim from down south doing' or 'How's the girl swimmer in Ireland getting on?' !

I hope everyone is having a lovely Easter weekend.

Mine does the same Craggy, She’s always very impressed with yours going back to competitive swimming for Cambridge :)

We’re on day 2 of 3 of entertaining at ours. I’m exhausted already but today is just the mothers. And DD is home to step up as dutiful GD to keep them entertained.

Another 2026 graduation here, due to year abroad. I’m glad, while next year will be a wrench I’m equally not ready for her to graduate!

I went to pick her up yesterday, which was a lot of driving but nice to have her in the front seat and have a chat all the way home. We normally revert to parents in the from and ‘child’ in the back if it’s the three of us.

She's currently in bed and nonplussed by me making cheese scones as she wants her new fave ‘oatmeal’ (her partial Scottishness entirely drowned out by US culture there). She’s too thin, I’m a bit concerned.

Happy Easter everyone. I'm about to dish up Roast lamb.
I did an Easter Egg Hunt today, for ds2, largely helped by ds1. We hid mini eggs round the house, (including front garden and back garden, which we've never done before). It was good. We've always done it and ds2 still likes it mini eggs!

Oh,I hope she's OK. I went through a food restriction phase at about that age. I wouldn't say it was serious enough to term it an eating disorder but it was very controlled. Plain porridge was a thing. Do keep an eye on her as your instincts will guide you.

Thanks @Piggywaspushed 🙂 She’s been trying to get a doctors appt as she knows she’s lost weight - she had a previous period of unexplained weight loss. She thinks stress - previous time was A levels. She ate dreadfully last year and was ‘fine’, I suspect her better nutrition this year is leaving her a little short on calories. She has a tiny appetite and an operates on very odd hours, neither of which are helpful.

Not the most comfortable thing to raise as I’m no authority on diet, being rather on the fatter side, but a happy medium
woukd be nice!

Hope she’s ok @DontCallMeBaby and it’s something that can be sorted out. Dd has definitely put on weight, she has those genes, but she had issues with eating/throwing up in mid teens so we have to be really careful not to mention portion sizes/what she’s eating etc.

Happy Easter everyone.
Another graduation here for 2026 due to a year abroad.
DD is going to Austria. What about everyone else ?

@crazycrofter it’s fraught isn’t it? Fortunately she took it well when I said I knew she was eating better, but was she eating enough? We’d not even set off for home, it could have gone very wrong.

I sometimes imagine the alternative timeline in echo we have a son who eats us out of house and home, rather than this little bird!

I feel like however our kids are, we always end up worrying @DontCallMeBaby . Our ds is huge - massively into weight lifting - and eats enormous amounts, constantly! It’s so expensive and time consuming making sure I’ve always got enough protein in the house!

@DontCallMeBaby I worry about DS and food too, he is borderline underweight and some days just doesn't eat (he has somewhat restricted tastes and would rather go without than eat something he doesn't really like. Add to that an inability to follow recipes or multi-task due to SNs and it is tricky. He is actually an adventurous eater and loves exotic food but won't eat the easy plainer stuff, potatoes, sausages, eggs, beans etc. We had buffet lunch today at FILs and all he ate was a bread roll, then he didn't fancy anything when we got home.

Interesting that some of you talk to your DCs about the thread. My DC know I use Mumsnet and that some of my MN friends have turned into real life friends who I meet (mainly through Woolly Hugs but also from a thread I've been on for 15 years now). However I've always worried a bit about privacy (which is why my ED names keep changing) in terms of the DC so they don't know too much about what I chat about on here. I usually just say "someone I talk to on MN has a son who did XYZ". Perhaps I should be more open and then they can see that online support forums can be really valuable. MN has influenced their lives a LOT more than they probably realise, especially the SN stuff.

@PhotoDad are you around? I was wondering if I could pick your brain. I met a woman the other day who is a professional photographer (portrait). I was saying how I like my wildlife photography but I only have a phone and she was encouraging me to get a proper camera, which I think I'd like to do but I haven't got a clue where to start (I know Google is probably my friend). Any suggestions as to decent sources of information? I'm not likely to meet this woman again to ask for further advice. No rush as I am thinking possible Christmas present.

@EffortlessDistraction In the meantime a distraction! https://www.robertefuller.com/nest-cams/
https://www.robertefuller.com/my-kit-action-cameras/

Hi @EffortlessDistraction, yes, always happy to talk cameras! The big question is budget. A second question is; an 'all in one' camera, or one where you can later upgrade the lenses? A lot of the general info about cameras doesn't really help much for wildlife photography, unfortunately. If you send me a PM and a rough price I could make a couple of suggestions as a starting point for research..?

Now that feature films are actually being made using iPhones, are fancy cameras even really that important?

I get why someone would want one, obviously! And assume wildlife photography is an area where professional cameras do help but recently in the Countryfile comp, one of the winning photos was taken with an iPhone.

I'm having a row on an HE thread and seemed to have somehow got sucked into a debate about creative degrees. I'm not even sure who is arguing what any more!

Phone cameras are amazing for nearly every type of photography! But not, generally, at getting clear pictures of small moving objects at a distance. The other thing that 'proper' cameras give is much more control. If you need to change aperture/shutter-speed/ISO (the three biggies which can't be photoshopped later) then it's really really handy to have an actual button or dial or switch to do that, rather than having to click through menus. "Auto" mode on cameras often makes the wrong decisions for these three, and you don't get a second chance once the bird has flown.

I'd normally jump in to a thread about creative degrees but I'm been flat in bed for the past three days with a cough I can't shift, and hence broken sleep, and am avoiding arguments.

Thanks, I haven't really set a budget ATM as I have no idea what's reasonable, but I spend very little on my hobbies generally (allotment and crocheting) so possibly could splurge a bit. Not being too bulky or heavy is definitely a consideration. I have got a decent phone (Iphone 14pro) and it is great for landscapes, close ups of anything that is still, copes fairly well with low-ish light but anything that is moving is a no, the zoom is great for small things that aren't too far away eg flowers 10m away but not great for longer distances. I rarely get a good photo of a bird even on the ground and on the wing is impossible. The depth of field isn't great either. It is possible I need to learn more about the phone camera features.

x-posted. Hope you feel better soon.