Thread 48- Covid GCSE Cohort - Summer before Year 2 Uni

[Oblomov23]

Summer ending. Year 2 for many at Uni about to start.

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
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Sounds like there's quite a discrepancy between personal tutors at Nottingham then (and elsewhere!).

I'm glad your dd is preferring life in a private house @heifer. I think life in halls is for the extroverts really, and lots struggle with it. Dd seems fine except she's broken her phone, so that's another expense... She really is a money pit.

I haven't caught up as had a busy week. The last part I read on here was how much money dc's were getting. I'm paying ds's bills. He didn't want to sign up for the joint uni homes bills. But the rest of his house did, so that is £24 week. I think that's a lot really, surely bills won't be anywhere near £96 a week, that's almost £5k for the year. Then Dh pays ds's mobile contract. After rent Ds is only left with £59 month from his loan. He says that's enough for food. Any extras he will buy out of his earnings through the summer. I have offered more.

I dropped Ds off on Sunday. He drove me down there in my car. I was nervous about letting him drive. But all was fine once he got over the initial excitement of how fast my car is compared to his. His feels like it's going to take off when it gets to 60mph. Whereas mine you don't even feel you are going fast at 60.

Dh went to stay with his dd in Brighton the day after I returned home, I'd stayed with my dm while down there. Dh took down the tv for Ds and a few other bits he'd left.

Dh had to wait for a phone call from his consultant before he left for Brighton. Dh had treatment for prostate cancer 9 years ago. After treatment he has 6 monthly psa blood tests. It went down to 0.03 which is super low and good. After 5 years it started creeping up slowly. I knew then that it is not meant to go up. But when he spoke to the consultant he said "it's fine. It can go up and down, if it gets to 2.1 I'll see you again" But everything I read said it shouldn't increase. Then 6 months ago it was 2.0 (up from 1.6 in 3 months) the consultant said have a test in 3 months if it's 2.1 I'll see you. Of course 3 months later it was 2.7 so dh had mri then a scan where they inject stuff to show where psa is coming from. Psa now up to 4.9 this week. I read that if it doubles in 6 months then it's aggressive, dh's had doubled in 4 months. Consultant phoned to say it's now in his lymph nodes. I am so annoyed they wouldn't see dh sooner. I didn't hear the phone consultation. But dh says that's it. The only treatment is hormones to block his testosterone. So it's incurable. I have read that the lymph nodes can be removed or zapped with radiotherapy. But seems none of this was offered. Dh left straight after the call so I can't discuss it with him. That's one bad thing about telephone consultations. I have so many questions now. DH won't like being on the hormones. He thinks it's just for a month or so, but i am sure it'll be indefinitely. I had to have the same injection 23 years ago, weird how the same drug is used for men and woman. I put on 2.5 stone in 5 months and refused the 6th infection. So I know dh is going to put weight on, it also said high risk of diabetes on this drug, dh is pre diabetic. So he's bound to need drugs for diabetes too. I think we will both start healthier diets. I'll do it too. Ds3 can have the unhealthy snacks in a hiding place. I had awful hot flushes with the injection too. I get them again now but they aren't as bad as they were with the injection.

Sorry....that was a long rant. But I'm so annoyed he wasn't seen sooner. I just kept thinking they must know what they are talking about. Even though the internet said otherwise. I'm not going to say anything to the dc's for the time being.

Oof @icanbewhatiwant sorry to hear that the cancer is back for DH, and that over relaxed attitude from the consultant is unacceptable, but I don't know what you are supposed to do. I think he would be entitled to say he wants to change consultants though. Hope the impact of the treatment is not as bad as you fear and that something more can be done. I have heard that 10% of men over 70 live with prostate cancer, so it can be managed, I think you said your DH is over 60?

..... and no need to apologise for long rants on this thread, particularly on something which is really worrying you.

Thanks @Monkey2001 Apparently it's the norm to wait for the psa to go 2 ng/mL above its lowest point after treatment. But that just seems silly to me. Yes most men live with prostate cancer as it's often slow growing and stays in the prostate. Dh's first time it was in the prostate and very slow growing, they said he could leave it, but as he was quite young it would need treating at some point. Dh decided to treat it there and then. But apparently that cancer has gone now and he doesn't have any visible cancer in his prostate. These are migrated cells that may may have been there years, but have only now decided to get aggressive in his lymph nodes. Once it is out of the prostate it is classed as incurable. Not much we can do at the moment. As prostate cancer feeds on testosterone, in theory the hormone injection will help shrink it. Some people the hormones hold it at bay for many years, others it doesn't work. But i just can't understand why no treatments were offered if it isn't in his prostrate then surely it can removed. But maybe that comes later after hormones have shrunk it. I'll be wanting to speak to the consultant next phone call. But dh wouldn't let me in the room this time, he said I'll interfere.

@icanbewhatiwant sorry to hear your cancer woes, this things are so hard to navigate.
@Piggywaspushed also sorry to hear your update about the housemate. Sounds possibly that there is a 'ringleader' amongst them? Perhaps contact to them individually might help?
@Heifer I hope your DD's tutor's attitude is more the norm now in Notts. When my DD was there, she had no contact at all from her personal tutor even after failing, switching courses, mh issues being flagged etc. After demanding a 2nd one was assigned, she emailed once to say she was going on maternity leave, but there was no-one replacing!😟
Luckily for DD, as she'd had to talk her way onto new course, the new course leader was aware of her and they had update meetings every few weeks to check on DD's progress. But it was totally out of the university's official system.

@icanbewhatiwant - sorry to hear about your DH. That sounds rubbish and v stressful

Lots going on for you Icanbewhatiwant, I hope, when your DH is ready, you are included more in understanding what his support options are moving forwards.

@ealingwestmum thanks. Dh has no problem with me being there for face to face consultations. It's just on the phone, he says I'll talk and he won't be able to hear or I'll interfere. The previous 3 appointments have all been on the phone. It's a long way to the hospital he's under, it was the only one in the area to offer the treatment he chose 9 years ago. But I think there are better options now. On the phone is good as there's no travel, but it's not so nice as face to face when you get chance to ask more.

Sorry to hear your news @icanbewhatiwant

Let's hope your DS gets a decent tutor this year too @mummyinbeds. A good one can make so much difference.

@icanbewhatiwant I'm so sorry to read your update, your poor DH and, of course, you and the DCs. I hope after a proper face to face appt things may be a bit clearer about treatment and he can prepare a list of questions in advance of that.

Re: Notts tutors, DS's was non existent too, nothing from anyone when he failed his module. Doesn't seem to be much support in the law dept anyway.

Sorry to hear that @icanbewhatiwant. Is it worth gently insisting to Dh that you both attend / request a clinic appointment?

@icanbewhatiwant Sorry to hear your DH's diagnosis. Hopefully treatment starts imminently and research will bring new options soon.

Really sorry to hear that, @icanbewhatiwant. Fingers crossed.

Re tutors. According to friends/family who are academics, in many places they are appointed just to fill out staff workloads and given little or no training or support. Hence the complete lottery. Often the tutor knows less about uni procedures than the students.

@icanbewhatiwant that news must have been a big shock for you & your dh. Maybe when your dh has come to terms with the situation, he will be more amenable to listening to your view too.
Both Ds1 & I have Covid here & it sounds like Dd2 down in london has it too. Although she's calling it Fresher's Flu. I've just told her it's probs. Covid & she just said she thought Covid wasn't around any more. She said everyone is feeling ill. She also has her first assignment tomorrow & needs to go to the museum for that. I'm not sure how that's going to go.

 Dh got a phone call from a man called Abdul this morning to say someone handed her bag in for repair to his cobblers & she had left money & a passport in it. What a lovely man! He got our number from her passport. He was too frightened to tell dh he thought her boyfriend had dropped off the bag, along with a pair of boots. So he phoned me up too 😂

There is still good in the world ...

@Cantonet it wasn't really a shock with psa raising slowly for 4 years. I was expecting it to be in his prostate again. But not in the lymph nodes. I'm just annoyed I didn't insist dh pay for investigation sooner. It obviously isn't available on nhs until the psa reaches a certain level. It is going round and round in my head wondering why they aren't treating it apart from with hormones, they slow it down but don't treat it. I think I'll have a have a long wait for answers.

@icanbewhatiwant so sorry to hear about your DH, also that it’s taken so long to get any action. I hope DH lets you at least listen in to the consultation.

On our way back to cambridge after an eventful summer! Currently at our favourite A1 Starbucks. Not sure what that says about our lives...!

@craggyrat We have favourite A1 stops too! Up and down that road so many times...

I was in "Toon" to pick up some things earlier this morning and there were streams of people converging on Newcastle Uni for the open day. Have those joys to come with DS next year.

DD is exhausted after constant drawing in Seville, but has a day off before flight home tonight. She's made some new coursemate friends which is amazing. Attaching a few more pics; they saw quite a lot of flamenco and ate a lot of regional food. Jealous!

We’re just about to join the hordes at the open day. Just parked in Newcastle.

@OublietteBravo Enjoy! If you have time to mooch around town, walking down Northumberland Street to the Monument (right turn at the end of the pedestrianised bit), down Grey Street, to the Quayside give a great impression of the city's areas. Or the other way to the Town Moor, Newcastle has some incredible open spaces.

Thanks! My best friend and my sister both went to Newcastle, so it will be interesting to see what has changed.

I ordered some Krispy Kreme
Donuts to be sent to DDs house for her to share with her housemates. Went down a treat apparently and much appreciated so I'm in the good books for now :-)

@heifer I bet it did! DS would love that.