Thread 48- Covid GCSE Cohort - Summer before Year 2 Uni

[Oblomov23]

Summer ending. Year 2 for many at Uni about to start.

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
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Good game.

@Piggywaspushed did your 3 love it?

Good luck to your DD @OrangeCinnamonLatte, I hope she has a fantastic start at Reading and continues to feel positive.

Thank goodness she got out of that relationship and that she can talk to you about it, although it can't be easy to hear as a mum

Very sorry to hear that Orange, re dd and ex countrolling bf.

Yes, think so.

All a bit spoilt by car woes.

@OrangeCinnamonLatte your poor DD. Don't blame yourself though, we can only see so much when they try to keep things from us. At least she knows that you are there for her. Hopefully Reading will be the new start she needs.

I’m so sorry to hear that @OrangeCinnamonLatte but don’t blame yourself - you knew it wasn’t a healthy relationship but if you’d have been more vocal, you might have pushed her away. She knows she can talk to you and here’s hoping for a fresh start and a more cautious/discerning approach to relationships.

@OrangeCinnamonLatte
Please don't feel at all guilty. It wasn't your fault. You didn't know.

Thanks all. I'm trying to keep myself busy vacumn packing and staying away from this RB stuff.

@Oblomov23 your seats looked good (at least for one half!)

I have a season ticket for CFC but rarely go ...we are too far away really and DH works shifts and can always find a mate to take my place. Perhaps if I start going again they won't be so rubbish ?!

DD was also in a controlling relationship, OrangeCinnamonLatte, and even though it didn’t last that long (a few months, after a longer pre-amble), it’s left its mark on her self-esteem and MH.
Even today, when she and I were packing her stuff for the move to her 2nd year house, she got visibly upset when she found some belongings relating to the person in question.
Similarly to your DD, she’s also been messing about with other casual hook ups since and has been emotionally volatile/moody/difficult over the summer.

Hopefully, Reading will be the new start your DD needs. I hope she settles really well and can put last year behind her.

@OrangeCinnamonLatte I missed your post last night (while I was typing one) and I'm really sorry to hear about your DD.

Let's hope that this year is a fresh start for so many of our DC for all sorts of reasons!

So sorry to hear what your DD has been going through @OrangeCinnamonLatte .

Still 13 days to drop off here. Hope the city was looking nice @PhotoDad !

@OrangeCinnamonLatte you were there as much as you were allowed to be. Hope she can move on and find a lovely new and appropriate relationship when she gets to Reading. Getting into the wrong relationship is a desperately sad thing.

@craggyrat good to see you here, how are you doing?

Poor DD @OrangeCinnamonLatte I hope her new start does her the world of good. We can’t know what they don’t tell us, we felt guilty for believing DS when he said everything was going well last year but how were we to know otherwise??

@PhotoDad which is your favourite restaurant in Cambridge?

@Monkey2001 - hi yes doing okay thanks. Got oncology appointment this Tuesday to sort radiotherapy. Hoping to go back to work week Tuesday until radiotherapy starts. Once that is done just yearly mammogram and 5 years of medication and that's it - fingers and toes crossed! I think I've been v v lucky

@OrangeCinnamonLatte ‘mum guilt’ seems to be present whatever you do but just remind yourself you have supported her the best that you could. Some of what you say echos with me and DD whose mental health also took a battering from a controlling relationship. I’m glad your DD is getting a fresh start and wish all the best for the new course.

12 hour round trip to drop DD back yesterday. She was a bit apprehensive but equally looking forward to going back. We only stayed half an hour as she was wanting to spend some time with her housemates. Last year we did a massive food shop and this year I left her a pot noodle!

Ugh, now DS has to stay on his train til Stafford , north of Birmingham to get there. This year start is rather trying. Lucky he isn't a panicker.

@craggyrat The city was sparkling in the sunshine, and there was a food/crafts fair on Parker's Piece!

@285NeuerNamen We love "Little Petra." The fatteh is amazing! It opened two or three years ago and has already expanded to premises double the size of the original, it's now on Hills Road near the Botanic Gardens.

Thanks @PhotoDad , will give that a try!

I was surprised to hear from Ds that there aren't locks on bedroom doors in his private rental. Ds1 had a front door key, then a key for his own bedroom. So I assumed all private student houses would be like that. But ds's is just a main door key. He's not wanting it locked so that's ok. But I can see it might be a worry for some.

Also his bedroom is downstairs at the front with a sash window, he said anyone can open it up further from outside and step in. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask the landlord to put a catch on it so it can't be opened more from outside. Otherwise Ds will shut it at night, I know what he's like, he will open it during the day, then go out for the day.

@icanbewhatiwant My understanding, which might be outdated or simply wrong, is that if it's let as individual rooms the bedrooms have to have locks, but if it's let as the whole house, they don't.

@PhotoDad yes, it's let as a whole house, though obviously as a student let with their own rooms. I just assumed they'd have a lock as ds1 did.

My highly limited experience here is two samples! I didn't have a lock on my room back in the day (whole house let). My DD currently does have a lock (let as individual room on her own contract).

I don't think I ever had a lock on a door in a shared house or flat (I've lived in about 10 of them). But that was in the days when no one had laptops, tablets or anything much of value.

Moved DS back today. It was a lot easier than last year. It's Freshers week so he may well come home again in a day or two but wanted to move in on the same days as everyone else (he's in halls again).