Thread 44 GCSE Covid Cohort - Countdown to Christmas & New Year

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

@Heifer DD is well and truly back, just over two weeks and has managed to break her arm in that time … fortunately a minor break (no cast), and she was well looked after by a friend who called 111 (bet her mum’s on here 😂) and got her booked into A&E. No trampolining for a while though (which was not how she broke it btw) including no competing in Edinburgh.

We now have a Mindful Chef box when she’s away - no way she would be on board with any of their dishes, plus they (like Gousto but unlike Hello Fresh) don’t recognise the existence of 3-person families.

That’s brilliant @PhotoDad!

@DontCallMeBaby I hope your DD is ok.

Thanks @BlueMarigold 😊 She’s fine, I think - was demonstrating over FaceTime on Saturday how much movement she had in it compared to the evening after she did it.

DS is about to sign a 51 week tenancy for next year apparently. I halfheartedly tried to encourage him to look around but at least its through Unipol so reasonably protected. Such a difficult balance to not interfere.

@omnishambles DS didn't want my input at all, the house the have chosen is horrible but I doubt it's as bad as the student houses I lived in 30 years ago so he should survive! 😂

DS had his last exam yesterday so now kicking his heels until lectures start again. He read me out the strike days and it seems it's 2-3 days a week through Feb. and into March so even more time sat around doing nothing. They are really going to lose their motivation soon, this Christmas break was too long and the strikes are just making it drag even more. How will they catch up on the missed work?

@DontCallMeBaby hope your DDs arm heals quickly!

DS appears to have been abducted by aliens!

He sent me a photo at 11.48pm last night of an open French book and his notes. He was doing work, voluntarily.

And then, I received a message at 3am to tell me he'd written a To Do List for today, which included reading 😱

DS does not do work unless there is an imminent deadline. DS definitely does not write To Do Lists (unlike me)

He did only pay his hall fees yesterday, a week late, so old DS is still there somewhere.

And he doesn't have anywhere to live next year. He's hoping someone drops out of one of his friendship groups house shares and burying his head in the sand until then.

Fingers crossed re accommodation for next year @mummyinbeds

Dd’s tonsillitis is gone, so just the glandular fever now, headaches and tiredness. She wants to go back the weekend after next - so I’ve said she has to test her health next week by getting out of bed and trying to do a few things.

Does anyone mind if I slip back onto the thread? I’ll sit quietly at the back, if that’s ok?
I’ve missed you all.

DD only went back on Monday; she was here for just over 6 weeks and doesn’t start lectures again until next week.
It was lovely having both her and DS home for Christmas, but he went back on the 3rd and the last couple of weeks of just DD at home started to get a little much; she’s messy, doesn’t do anything to help around the house, and spends hours in the bath or with her music blaring.
That said, DS was home this weekend on exeat, so by the time he left again on Sunday night and DD left on Monday morning, I was an emotional wreck…it never gets easier.

We saw a lot of DD’s BF over the holidays. He seems nice but comes from a very dysfunctional family (including alcohol issues), so has some behaviours that are slightly concerning. However, he adores DD and lets her know that he does.

She had 3 assessments to submit while she was here, and is averaging a low 2:1, so is doing ok, especially given that she STILL hasn’t had her DSA support package.

DH and I bought bathroom scales on NYE, got a shock when we stood on them, and are now on a health revamp - daily yoga, 3 x weekly Hiit sessions, dog walks, and trying to eat more healthily.
Nearly half a stone lost each so far.

I will catch up with everyone’s recent news now, but huge commiserations to your DD, crazy - what a blow after such a great start to uni life.
Hope she’s able to go back when she plans to.

Welcome back @Alsoplayspiccolo , it’s gone a bit quiet on this thread in recent weeks! Sounds like your dd is doing well, all things considered?

Its a big blow to dd to be so unwell, she’ll find it really hard if she can’t keep up socially. She’s also upset because she has only 2 definite plans for summer and both fall within the reassessment period so she might have to cancel them 😢

Hey Piccolo welcome back! Since Christmas I think everyone has hunkered down a bit. Congrats on the healthy start to the year.

Welcome back Piccolo. Glad dd is perking up Crazy, hope she's back to Uni asap.

Ds1 rang me today. He sent a nice card for my 50th (please don't any of you lot waste posts with birthday wishes,). He has today gone to Manchester to guarantee his near New York camp - lifeguard position - at Camp America. He's finished his 3 exams, said maths was hard.

I've been feeling miserable for weeks now. Tonnes of different shit, most not related to him: HRT problems, constantly fighting GP and Kings re diabetic problems, feeling ill constantly. So, I haven't wanted to talk to him since I dropped him off. Barely messaged him. Was so pissed off with him re Xmas. And how rude he was to me at mudgate drop off. Plus yet another Nottingham ticket means I'm gonna be banned in a minute! Plus because of mudgate I took car to be cleaned the next day, crashed it and now waiting for repairs. I'm so fed up generally.

Anyway, hope I cheer up soon. Out to dinner tonight and party Saturday.

Hopefully things will turn around a bit for you soon @Oblomov22 . I had a bad patch around my 50th and didn’t want to celebrate at all, but seem to have come through it now a few years later (I think hormones were playing a part)

Good to hear from you @Alsoplayspiccolo , the thread has quietened down a little recently so its a good time to catch up a bit. Well done on the health improvements. Since we discussed a life-reboot in September I have lost some weight too, although it has plateau’d a bit at the moment and am also trying to do more yoga and gym.

@Oblomov22 you sound like me, when I hit 50 I was struggling with my emotions and I’m not normally like that. I hope you get your hrt sorted, I tried it for a few months but found it made me worse.
@Alsoplayspiccolo well done on the health kick, I need to sort my eating out, my exercise is great but that is such a small part of it.
@mummyinbeds if my DS wrote a list I would be shocked, he does work hard when put under pressure and never acts on me nagging.
We are starting to look at universities for DS2, so planning a few trips, but I really want DS2 to stay close or near his DB. I didn’t think about it the first time, this time I know I’m going to struggle (empty nest). Am I the only one thinking like this?

@sazzy5 he didn't achieve anything on the list but I guess writing it was achievement enough for one day.

Actually, he's had a bit of a mh setback this evening. He said he couldn't understand why but after five minutes of chatting it turned out to be the gf yet again. I promise I was supportive but grrrrrrr!!!! He messaged me later asking if I could arrange counseling through my work (free access for me and family members) It's a positive sign 🤞

Sorry you're feeling crap @Oblomov22 Apparently I'm quite good at text therapy and virtual hugs according to DS. If I can help, let me know. I can't help with driving offences - I'm sitting my course in February.

@sazzy5 we're starting to look for unis for DD too and I had a wobble about the empty nest thing the other night too. DH and I both have busy lives, hobbies, friends but will find it hard. DD is a real homebody so it is going to be very strange.

@sazzy5 I am hoping DS2 will be off in September and there will no longer be about 8 pairs of trainers in the hall, which he seems incapable of putting on the shoe rack (can't say I understand why there is a scruffy pair, a cycling pair, a running pair, a smart pair, a work pair, a waterproof pair.......)! Also, our recycling volume will halve as he eats so much - 5+ eggs a day generates a lot of egg boxes.

I am sure I will miss him, but I can see plenty of silver lining, as well as the excitement for him of moving on to the next stage of life. Although I do also think it will be nice if DS1 is in Manchester and DS2 in Sheffield as I think they would see eachother.

@Monkey2001 the trainers!!! I can't wait for DD to take her trainers to uni in September. All zillion pairs of them. I'll miss her like crazy but not those stinky trainers.

DD still has more pairs of pumps and trainers in our house than ds and she's away at uni! Apparently these are all spares.

@EspeciallyDetermined we are the same, full on jobs, plenty of hobbies but I will miss the energy the boys bring to the house. It is the next stage in their lives and in ours too.
@Monkey2001 i have everything crossed for your DS, hopefully some good news coming soon. I am lucky DS2 isn’t wanting to do medicine or Oxbridge. Such a stressful process.

I'm the one who clutters the hall with footwear at this time of year, I rotate 3 pairs of ankle boots, tan, casual black, smart black, trainers for exercise, walking boots for muddy walks, snow boots for wet days and crocs for going swimming etc. None of the boots fit on the shoe racks so they end up on the floor. The DCs are much better, one pair of trainers each for general wear, walking boots for DD for archery and astro trainers for DS for hockey. They have no interest in trainers as a fashion thing.

Struggling a bit at the moment - I always hate this time of year anyway, but really feel stuck in limbo this year. DD not found work so is getting really bored. All her friends are back at uni so no social life, and I don't know what to do with her. Got 8 months to go yet. I'm still struggling with DH WFH every day since lockdown. He goes into the office maybe every couple of months for a day so I never have the house to myself which is a struggle after 20 years of being a SAHM! He doesn't have hobbies or friends so only leaves the house to go to the supermarket or his Mum's (5 minutes away). I don't really have friends to go out with, just people I know from a couple of hobbies. And now my mum needs an eye op which means she'll need looking after for a while, but have no clue when it will be so reluctant to book a holiday or anything because it's bound to be at the wrong time!!
Sorry for the rant - I know others are going through much worse, but it helps to write it down.

Welcome back @Alsoplayspiccolo ! And well done on the health kick.

@Oblomov22 ans @Seeline - sorry to hear you are finding things tough at the moment. I found 52 a really difficult birthday. My mum died at that age and I really struggled with being the same age as her. Very weird and made no sense but it was a difficult time.

DS now been back at Cambridge for three weeks and happily back in the swing of things. His birthday cake delivery didn’t show up but I sent him a Colin the Caterpillar care package and he and his corridor had a film night. He bought himself a Lakeland mini waffle maker which is proving popular.

i had my new job induction yesterday. People are very nice but firm seems to be based in about 1992. I’m not sure yet I made the right move after 18 years but my old job was so unbelievably stressful. We will see. Start properly on Monday.

We just have DD so the nest emptied in one go. I think it’s harder in it was so sudden, but also easier as there are just two states - DD is here, or she’s not. No multiple combinations of DC here and not here, and no younger DC learning to be a part-time only.

And I’m not sorry I don’t have to go through uni application again, this time selling either the virtues of the north west or somewhere local (please god, not Kent) 😄

Feeling the shoe pain - I ordered and built two shoe racks and put them under the stairs this month. Does it mean the hall is now free of trainers and DMs? Does it hell.

We're about to give up on NHS MH provision for dd1 and Go Private. Can ill afford and no guarantees we'll have any success but all out of ideas now. Maybe witchcraft?