Thread 44 GCSE Covid Cohort - Countdown to Christmas & New Year

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

@Zebracat sorry to hear your girl has been going through so much. It sounds like she's taken some positive and grown up steps to get the help she needs.
Collected DS this afternoon. As I expected his version of 'Ive done most of the packing ' actually meant he'd started taking the base of his PC screen off just before I got there. So, mum to the rescue and somehow got it all packed into my small car (big car wouldn't start - it also broke down the night before he started in September. That car really doesn't want to go to Nottingham) He was his lovely old chatty self on the way home. He said he's really felt more settled in the last two weeks and has made friends with a lovely group of Rutlanders (if these are yours @crazycrofter @Oblomov22 @Heifer then thank you 🙂) He feels sad that he wasted so much time but I reminded him he's been unwell and to only look forward. He's determined to get stuck into uni life in January. And I had the best hug ever 🥰

I’m so pleased to hear he’s started to settle @mummyinbeds , that’s such a relief for you! No idea if dd knows him, but Rutland seems like a friendly hall and she’s got to know new people there in the last few weeks too.

Dh decided it was a great idea to combine a trip to IKEA in Nottingham with collecting dd on Thursday evening. We were strapping a double bed to the roof of our car at 9.45pm, got to dd about 10.15 to find that she’d made about the same amount of progress as @mummyinbeds ds 😬Clothes everywhere! Got home at about 12.30.. It didn’t help our energy levels that the night before we’d had a flood in our new kitchen at 4am - pipes not collected properly 😩 DD’s stuff is still in our hall as she has a small new room and we need to buy her some furniture/storage solutions!

Yes - DD had made no little progress with packing, although she has been poorly. We are currently trying to work out why the entire contents of her room fitted in the car in September, and now doesn't seem to want to! She really doesn't seem to have gained any real additional stuff. Maybe the car has shrunk....

Ughh @crazycrofter that sounds stressful just before Christmas!

DS said sadly yesterday that he is halfway though his 7 month hospital contract. He loves his job, likes all the people he works with, and does not want it to end!

That’s brilliant that he’s having such a good time @Monkey2001 . It’s worked out perfectly for him hasn’t it?

Just got home from Notts. Glad to have ds1 home. He does give very good hugs. 3 already. I got up at 6am, home at 2pm, 8 hours. Traffic was horrendous.

Glad ds is making progress mummy, socially, going out etc. Ds did call for him 5 times in all, but he was never home/never answered (may have been asleep), so they've possibly never met. Whereas Crazy my ds has been involved in CU and going to all churches (beeston his fave) and he's sure he must have met / knows your dd.

Sat having my car washed.

That’s a mission @Oblomov22 , when you are just up out of your sick bed. Eggshells here. When to ask for a list of work outstanding and to suggest studying needs to begin?
I feel anxious and want to know, so thought I would ask her to make the list tomorrow, make a time table togetherand start studying on Monday.

We are Xmas shopping in Leeds before picking Ds up. He has lost his keycard. Possibly in the back of a taxi last night. He wasnt even drinking!

@Zebracat Given the fragility I wouldn't raise it until after Christmas. Why not let her have a week of decompression, sleep and catching up with friends? She may find her own motivation when she's drawn breath. She's well aware of the deadlines and she negotiated them!

@EwwSprouts,thanks. I think that would be best, but I don’t know how much work there is, I don’t think she did any, nor do I know yet when she goes back. I thought if we got the list, she could do the easiest thing on it at an hour a day?

Glad you're getting some DS hugs @Oblomov22 Please thank your DS for trying to help DS - it's so good to know there is someone there.
@Zebracat I'm with you with the anxiety of asking about outstanding work. I know DS has a lot to hand in but I have no idea about how many lectures he's missed. It's a lot. I don't mind sitting through the law ones with him if it helps (I have a law degree) but French might be a stretch from a GCSE sat 30+ years ago.
He's currently at his gf's and going out with his old school friends this evening. I'm guessing tomorrow will be a write off... I'm trying to decide at what point I stop telling myself his happiness comes first and start reminding him (nagging) about the work.

@Zebracat I empathise with wanting to know the extent of the problem. Also agree that how to eat the elephant is in bite size morsels. If she starts on Monday to do some daily how much of a proper break is she going to get though? I know she's playing catch up, on the other hand she has been processing more trauma and is needing mental health medication. It's a delicate balancing act for both of you. I'm just seeing other posters saying their DC, many of whom do not have the history of your girl, and they are tired from all newness, late nights, friendships issues etc.

I’m so happy to read that mummyinbeds that I actually reread up! I think I’m more emotional about seeing ds1 tomorrow that I thought. But that is GREAT that he has come home positive and doing so much better!

Teared up

couldn't see the typo through my tears, evidently 🤣

Zebra I think I agree with others who say let her have a proper break from thinking about work and feeling like she should be working when she isn’t. Why don’t you get the scale of it from her, and then give her options - are you going to take this week off and do say 2 hours a day after Xmas? Or do a steady hour a day all the way through? Etc. see how she would prefer to manage it.

@Delphigirl now you've made me emotional 😂 Hope you get lots of DS hugs tomorrow.

This morning I spoke to the lady in the village who lost her dd to meningitis while on my dog walk. I won't go into detail of what she went through. It sounded awful. Poor family. But I will say she spoke to her dd in the morning, she told her she didn't feel great and had a temperature. But nothing out of the ordinary. So her dm said I'll drive down to pick you up, I'm assuming she was getting her because of the Christmas hols. 3 hours later she arrived and her dd was unconscious. She died shortly after. It was that quick. She had had the MenAWCY vaccine too. So if anyone can get the meningitis B vaccine done then please do so. Mine is still refusing. I think if the lady I spoke to this morn sees ds2 walking the dogs with me she might say something to him. She said no one should go through what they went through. I wonder why they aren't vaccinating students. They vaccinate babies for it now. I expect it's too expensive for the nhs.

That’s so sad and totally shocking and heartbreaking @icanbewhatiwant . I can’t imagine.
My DS1 was required to get Men C to go to his us uni, but the others haven’t had it. I will definitely ask them to do so.

Men B I mean

@Delphigirl I think the unis need to try to get the students who can afford the vaccine to get it done. A lad at Sussex university died the same week, also from meningitis (the girl was Brighton uni) there's been nothing mentioned in the news though, I think even 2 deaths should ring alarm bells.

Can Durham people help? I'm looking for a voucher for my dnephew for something he could do around Durham with his gf.
I've seen the ghost tours but not sure that's his thing.

I talked to her and she’s going to show me what there is tomorrow. But she said there’s 2 really small things she could get done this week, annotated reading. She seems quite happy to do it. She’s probably less tired than the others because she’s not done anything at all for weeks. I think she’s quite pleased to feel normal again. She’s upstairs online, having a great time.
I just looked up the Meningitis B injections. £215.00 for the 2 at Boots. I really wish I hadn’t gone over the top with presents now, because we can’t afford it, but otherwise it would be a no brainer.

Thanks for the new thread, I somehow missed it.
DS came home today and immediately started bickering with his brother!

@icanbewhatiwant it’s so shocking to hear how quickly that happened.
I don’t like to be paranoid but I hate it when DS doesn’t reply to messages within a few hours. As I mentioned he has had the Men B vaccine this summer and I was going to wait for DS2 to have it in the summer before he goes to uni too (2024) but I think I will try and get it done as soon as possible.

Ds1 would have the vaccine. I think he's a bit miffed I haven't suggested it, but now he's finished university, I don't think he's at high risk anymore. I didn't realise it could be done at boots while he was a student, it says they can have the vaccine up to age 24. As I said ds2 is refusing, I spoke to him again last night, telling the details, which aren't very nice, of how the young girl was when her dm arrived. It still didn't bother Ds. I willl make sure ds3 has the B vaccine, but he's only 13 at the moment, so plenty of time to think about it.

Young men really do think they are invincible!

Apparently, a lot of the vague anti vaxx stuff in boys is fuelled by the gym culture and Andrew Tate. Not the greatest role model.... (understatement)

I might talk to DH about this today. Whilst DS2 and 1 are fit and healthy generally, they pick up bugs like anyone else. DS2 never had a single day off school but has now had some kind of flu/Covidesque cough for about 5 weeks. And repeated Covid (which is happening in young people) is definitely knocking immunity. DS1 is a bit more anti vaxxy - but more of a hypochondriac! He isn't in halls anymore though, where the risk is greater.

When I was at uni, my friend go Hepatitis (can't remember which kind) and was horribly ill.