Thread 44 GCSE Covid Cohort - Countdown to Christmas & New Year

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

Thanks @crazycrofter, I'm worried he might not pass first year, but have encouraged him to get help when he's back at uni. So down to him to do that I suppose.

Being totally open, all my friends children seem to sail through life, and my DS absolutely doesn't. He failed his driving test last week. My DH rants about getting out what you put in, but I don't think that helps.

Oh bless him @17CherryTreeLane , he’s ever so young they all are, tell your Dh to say something nice or say nothing, because all I know is that if you tell someone they are underperforming, they will underperform. He needs to hear that he’s at a good Uni because they wanted him and he is good enough, and then he needs to find out what is needed for his marks to improve. They often have a mentoring scheme which can be very helpful. What is he studying?
We did finally manage to have a proper, but short conversation with ours this morning. I’m not sure what it achieved, except for us doing lots of reassuring, and then biting back the frustration because it emerges that despite months of prompting and chronic health conditions, she still hasn’t sorted out the form for free prescriptions. Still know practically nothing about everything else. Grr teenagers.

Thanks @Zebracat! He's studying international business and desperately wants to pass so he can study abroad.

Glad you managed to speak to your DD, and totally get the 'must not criticise' sentiments!

@17CherryTreeLane Totally get the frustration of everyone else's dc seeming to sail through life while yours is struggling. Quite a few DC on here have been through the mill with ill health, academic struggles & poor mental health but there's always a kind word here when we are struggling.

Many people fail their first test and pass it later. Family friend of ours, I kid you not, has just past her 8th test! bright girl, just been unlucky with mistakes. Saying you get out what you put in when it comes to driving tests isn't very helpful as it takes just one miscalculated judgement to fail.

Thanks @Shimy, that is reassuring!

And to everyone, thanks for the warm welcome... don't want to hog the thread, so hoping I can somehow help or reassure someone else.

Mumsnet at its best.

Motivation is everything. That will really help him.

Driving tests are totally different to anything else anyway! I passed on my fourth attempt and it wasn’t through a lack of trying..

Hello @17CherryTreeLane! I'm another relative newcomer to the thread and everyone has been so supportive. Hope that your DS manages to get some useful feedback.

Thanks to those who agreed that £20/week was a reasonable budget for DD's utility bills. She just needs to find a house now!!

@PhotoDad I didn't see your post about bills. Ds has been quoted £29 a week. I told him that was a lot. But thinking about it maybe that was ok. I keep seeing people on Facebook getting the most enormous bills. We don't have gas at home, I think that seems to be the biggest cost.

@icanbewhatiwant I think it will depend on how cold next Winter is!
Something that made me smile. One of DD's homework assignments was to design a matchbox for "Ruskin Brand Matches." After all, she is based in the Ruskin Building of Anglia Ruskin University. But John Ruskin only gave the opening speech!!! So here's her design, and I hope that her tutor shares her sense of humour.
(It should be Anglia Beaumont University, but Ruskin was a Victorian celeb! And a very very weird man.)

Welcome @17CherryTreeLane ! I think the other thing that our young people need to adjust to is the big leap in expectations. They were the best at their subjects in a level and suddenly they are in with all the other motivated people who love the same subject! The standards are different and it takes a while to adjust. Ds is finding one part of his course (joint honours) REALLY hard: hes enjoying the challenge but it’s tough, and he’s had a fail on one assessment earlier in the year (A, A, A student at a levels…) But he’s getting better (he does stem and there are lots of regular assessments) and seeing an improvement. And learning what he needs to do as a uni rather than an a level/highers level student. Totally agree that it’s worth him making an appointment with a relevant tutor to get detailed feedback: it will probably be really reassuring for him!

@17CherryTreeLane Hope he’s ok. It’s so hard for them to reach out & ask for help. I dropped out first time around then failed my first assignment second time! At 18 it’s hard. Hope the Uni help with constructive feedback. In my case it worked out. I got there. Hope your DS does too.

All is peaceful here after the chaos of having two very noisy (musical) kids home. I loved it but am appreciative of the calm now! 🤣

DS went back Saturday as he figured he’d get more revision done if he went back. He’s nervous about his first Uni exam.

DD doesn’t have exams but has only had feedback from one assignment after completing several so is anxious to get some idea of how it’s going (the one essay she has heard about she got a high 2:2).

I joined this thread when we were applying & didn’t share much background. DTs had a horrendous time in Y12 (multiple bereavements) which impacted on their progress. Particularly for DS. His predicted grades for UCAS were much lower than they should have been as a result. He got there though & got AAA after being predicted ACC. But that’s what making him unsettled now. He enjoyed last term greatly so I’m hoping he hasn’t taken his eye off the ball!

@17CherryTreeLane hello! Agree with Zebra that your DH needs to put a sock in it … it’s easy to imagine DCs don’t take this stuff to heart when they’re busy ignoring us, but they do. Driving test - ugh such a palaver. It’s only now I realise how lucky I was to have mine done and dusted before the start of upper sixth, without having to take a theory test etc. DD passed hers fourth time almost exactly a year ago, if she’d failed again we were going to suggest she give up until the summer, as she was struggling with A levels and it was all getting to be too much.

We took DD ‘home’ on Saturday - I’ve told her not to feel bad about referring to Preston as home as I’m as likely to do it, but that I’m liable to call both here and there ‘home’ and just confuse everyone 😂 It turns out that having her back for 2.5 weeks made me forget for a few days that she wasn’t here after she went back, but my brain has accepted it now. She’s had the exam today that she had to return for, and is now waiting for lectures and societies to start up on Monday. Exam went well (she thinks) and being in the main room wasn’t a problem as they could sit where they wanted and there was a ‘really loud fan’. No, I have no idea of the relevance of this, but if it works for her that’s all that matters.

Welcome @17CherryTreeLane -my DS has struggled at times too (SENs) and I have certainly struggled with supporting him, when I first posted here in y10 I would have said there was zero chance of him going to uni and yet he has and is settled. Always lots of support on this lovely thread.

It took me 3 goes to pass my driving test (no theory in those days) but got it just before my 18th, that's unlikely now with waiting times.

Welcome @17CherryTreeLane

DS has exams starting next week. He is sitting the first one remotely then going back to sit the rest in person. He has been home for 3.5 weeks now and has stopped refereeing to Bath as ‘home’! It will be strange when he goes back again.

on the theme of others, he seems to be ok so far but I wonder if he will get a shock after these exams. He has had very little assessed work so far apart from online tests. He is doing some work but I don’t think enough. Time will tell…

Very reassuring to hear everyone's different experiences. I hope all those about to sit exams, or waiting on results do well.

@17CherryTreeLane he's also younger than a lot isn't he, and I worry about dd who is a year older! Things take time to adjust.
I was thinking £20pw for bills, but then when I started thinking about what they need I did wonder if that's a huge underestimate? There will be gas, electricity, council tax (?), internet, tv licence, water and anything else? Or do they not pay all of those?

@17CherryTreeLane Welcome!

DS had first proper exam today, online. Says he doesn't know how it's gone. Had a multi choice online quiz test yesterday and has another exam tomorrow then rest of the week without lectures.

Re bills, DS's madly expensive flat for next year includes £2000 for utilities, wifi & tv licence for 52 week contract. Must have the heating on for 4 hours per day for winter months.

Students don’t pay council tax @NCTDN

I wasn't sure about that. That's a little bit better then!

Welcome to @17CherryTreeLane . I love the matchbox @PhotoDad ! I called it “Angela” Ruskin until DS corrected me…. I wondered who she was…! Glad I didn’t say it aloud in Cambridge.

Took DS back on Saturday. Had a lovely five weeks at home but he was very happy to go back except his 4 month old Samsung flip 4 he bought himself died on Sunday morning. It’s gone off to Samsung but that was stressful to say the least. He is very careful with his possessions so hoping warranty will cover it. He managed to sort himself a back up phone ex display from Apple shop which is a big deal for a very shy boy. Baby steps…

I leave my job after 18 years next week. We were outsourced six months ago and I absolutely hate it. Am Practice Support in a solicitors. Got a job in small local solicitors 3 days a week starting February. Very nervous changing jobs.

My friend and I have also joined local WI - much hilarity from DS over that. Went last night and it was really good.

@NCTDN Students don't pay council tax, but they do need to apply for the exemption. There is usually a form somewhere on their uni intranet/virtual learning platform etc that sets out all the info the council will need - name, term/course dates etc - that they can download and send to the council with the exemption application.

Oh congrats on your new job @craggyrat . I bet they are thrilled to have someone so experienced and steady. I quite fancy the WI, but I’ve never been a joiner, bit opinionated and eccentric.
I’ve got to try and sort out my GP today. The practice used to be really good but has been on a rapid downward spiral for the past 2 years. They have impenetrable systems, very badly run. I have about 7 prescriptions on repeat, but all due at different times, so every week I’m trying to get one of them, and it is never trouble free. Last week I ordered one online, but 4days later the pharmacist didn’t have it. My husband called in to the surgery and they said I had left the practice,but wouldn’t tell him more. I had not left. I phoned and they laughed(!) and reinstated me, and put the prescription through. We collected it yesterday and they have given me all my repeats except the 1 I need, and I’m no longer able to order on line. It’s impossible to get through on the phone, and walking is really difficult for me, but I will have to go in.
I know they are under pressure, but I think I am going to try and get an answer about how I was removed, and help them to understand how user unfriendly they are. Meanwhile I am without the only pain relief that works.

Good luck with your GP, Zebracat, I'm constantly horrified by how difficult it is for so many to access stuff that used to be so simple and routine. Our surgery has always been great, but has just dropped from 3 GPs to 2, with no mention of a replacement... DD is expecting a call from a nurse practitioner about her anxiety today, which was all we could get. (I should add that the NPs are very good there.)

Hello, @17CherryTreeLane, and a comradely pat on the back for your DS. The step up from A-Level to degree was certainly the steepest in my memory. Not so much the work but the expectation of complete self-motivation and excellent executive function. Both of these took time to develop (some might argue I never quite got there...)

Dd2 pretty chuffed today as she now has offers from 4 of her 5 choices, plus an interview at the 5th. A nice bit of brightness in a miserable January.

@PhotoDad I love that matchbox and your DD has quite a sense of humour. I'd expect top marks for that.