Thread 44 GCSE Covid Cohort - Countdown to Christmas & New Year

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

this landed in my inbox today ,might be of use to the career changers?

Thanks@OrangeCinnamonLatte I’ll have a scroll through those.

Ds1 landed in NZ about an hour ago. He left 9am thurs morn. So that is a lot of travelling time. They did stop in San Francisco for 24 hours, they got very bored there as they thought there would be a bus into San Francisco from the airport, but there wasn't. They had a night in a hotel then spent 12 hours in the airport before the last leg to NZ. I don't think I'll hear much more from him now he's there.

Ds2 text me from Sussex this morn. He said someone had come in his room while he was asleep (locked room door and no one else is back yet) they put his phone on the charger and charged it up. Then went back in when it was charged, unplugged it, turned it off and hid it in a little cubby hole beside his bed. Apparently the phone was almost flat when he went to bed, he never turns a phone off and has never used the cubby hole. He said it's really freaked him out. I told him he's done it in his sleep. But he's convinced someone has been in his room. I asked if he'd been drinking 🤷‍♀️

That's good re getting to NZ. I looked at what you typed the other day and thought "3 hours isn't long to transfer at LA" as I got caught out there, international arrivals is a long way from domestic departures, I missed my connection but thought I wouldn't mention it till you said he'd got there OK, didn't want to worry you.

@EspeciallyDetermined Ds did say he had a long walk in LA. I didn't think much of it though. At least that kept them busy. I think they regret stopping 24 hours in San Francisco though. Never mind. He's there now.

@icanbewhatiwant Good luck to your DS1!

Career change sounds like a great idea in theory. I'm getting a little ground down at my job for a number of reasons. But probably easier to hang on in there until retirement, for me.

@icanbewhatiwant Just in case he comes back that way or for any other young travellers, the cheapest way from SFO to downtown is the BART.

If you have 24 hours at an airport it can also be very cheap to rent a car for 24 hours if they are experienced drivers. I just looked on Travel Supermarket and a driver aged 21+ can hire a car for 1 day for £33 at San Francisco. Worth considering for future stops.

.....I meant worth considering for long stops in any city where driving is not crazy, ie not most Asian cities, but US and Australia would be fine.

@EwwSprouts I'm assuming that's the train. He seemed to think it 2 and half hours by train. I can't see that it was if it was 45 mins in a car.

@Monkey2001 that's interesting to know. When they went to USA in the summer he said car hire was expensive. But I don't know where Ds looked.

On googling it myself it shows as 15 mins by car from the airport to the city, Ds said 45 mins. Then train shows as 50 mins. Ds said 2.5 hours. Oh well...his problem not mine. He should do his research first.

We thought our girl was going back tomorrow, went to the cinema with her yesterday, then had a games night, and planned her favourite meal for today. Now she’s changed it to Friday, for very good reasons and obviously it’s fine.
But I am really struggling with my hip and need to sleep alone. Feel a bit desperate that I cant now do that until Friday.
Also she is so closed down, I feel worried for her, but I can’t seem to engage her in any real dialogue. She is seeing a psychologist and that was supposed to include some sessions with us, but they havent materialised. I think she has probably said she would rather have 1 to1. But she is alternatively avoidant, and almost regressed, clinging to me and now wanting to call me Mum, and showing some other worrying features. We don’t know how to respond.
Some tension with Dh as well. We really need some space for us.This chronic pain and disability is affecting my ability to just keep giving. I think they have no idea.
She has gone out today, but has said she will talk to me when she gets back. I know that will be her saying how she feels and what she thinks she needs, wont be interested in my view, and if I even ask probing questions, her jaw will tighten and she will say she’s too tired to talk more.
Im tired too, it seems almost pointless to even try, as I’m fairly sure that is how it will go. I kind of want to warn her that if she keeps shutting us out, we might just take the easy option and stop trying. I’m wondering if I could insist that I have 10 minutes with the psychologist? I’m not asking for information, just to share some and get a little guidance.
so sorry to bring it all here, but no one knows as much about this as you lot and my Dh, and he just says we have to get on with it, doesn’t even really notice the choices involved in that. I would really appreciate it if he took the lead for once, asked her how she is, what she needs etc, and then tried to give her an inkling of how this is for us. Maybe I should ask him to do that.

@icanbewhatiwant glad to hear your DS is in NZ safely.

@zebracat that sounds exhausting, I think you should ask DH to do that, it's too easy for them to leave it to the default parent and just expect you to keep giving more but it's time for him to step up and relieve some of the burden from you. I hope your talk goes better than anticipated.

8 days since I took a positive covid test and I'm still testing positive. Still feel rough and full of cold but not as exhausted as I was in the first few days.

@Zebracat that does all sound exhausting. I hope the talk goes well and dh gets more involved.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn I hope you feel better soon. I wasn't too bad when I had covid, I just happened to have booked the week off anyway. I did a test on day 12 just before I went back to work, I still had the positive line within seconds of doing the test. I didn't test again. So you might be positive a while.

@Zebracat So exhausting for you, especially with the hip problems. No real advice to offer, just sympathy (I think that many of us here have DC who've struggled with mental health in various ways, and it's so draining for all around, isn't it?)

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn Hope you get well soon!

Back to work for me tomorrow, and DD is heading back to uni (trains permitting).

Thanks all. I did talk to my Dh and, as ever, it did help. He reminded me that she is 19, and that we can only do so much, they are not our problems to solve.
But he will take the Lead when we talk to her later. And he does know how much I am struggling. I think I need to distract myself from worry spirals and just read my excellent book. And stop trying to limit pain killers and take the maximum dose for a few days. Mental health issues are very difficult for those around the sufferer, because sometimes it’s so bleeding obvious that their solutions are making it worse! But if she really believes sitting in her room and playing endless video games is helpful…
@JustHereWithMyPopcorn . I’ve not had covid yet. It does seem to linger for some. Hope you feel better soon. Also, have you thought of garden design? It would build beautifully on your experience, but introduce all the glory of nature, which is very soothing. Landscape architect is even more relevant and much in demand. Obviously would involve some further study , but there are courses available from Btec day release upwards, and there is a recognised shortage.

@zebracat Sounds like you have a plan to get you through the next few days. Book and bath if you can get in it with the dodgy hip.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn Hope you feel much better soon.

@icanbewhatiwant BART is like a mini Underground, mainly overground :)

Has anyone sent a cake or similar to halls for a birthday? How did you do it?
@Monkey2001 not sure if there's a local place you'd recommend that would deliver? Or would some brownies or similar be better?

@Zebracat I hope the talk goes well tonight, it does sound very draining so I get why you feel how you do, and I hope you know it's ok to feel like that too.

@NCTDN I wouldn't be able to send a cake to DD as any parcel goes straight to the post room for her to collect so I would send brownies - I am sure someone on here has already done that from a well known online brownie supplier and recommended them, problem with that with my menopausal memory fog I can't remember who it was buying or supplying :-)

We dropped DD back yesterday with a birthday cake wrapped in foil to be put in the freezer, and a tub of frosting to decorate when she defrosts it 🙂 but she is coeliac so it is not quite so easy for her to get a cake she likes without having to make it!

@NCTDN I bought ds2 a birthday cake but it was in with a Tesco order along with alcohol and a few other bits. A friend made her son a cake and posted it. It went from Suffolk to exeter and stayed in one piece!

During covid I made DS a good solid fruit cake for his birthday. Wrapped it in foil, bubble wrap and a tight fitting cardboard box and sent it through the post. It went to a central post room on campus, but being a fruit cake, the delay wasn't an issue.

I sent DD some brownies from an online supplier when she needed cheering up last term. I used Simply Cake - 10% discount via WIWIKAU. Again, survived the central post room.

Thanks for the well wishes everyone, I’m just fed up with coughing and snot! 😄 I read the gov Covid advice earlier and it said you’re probably not contagious after five days so it’s fine to go out (paraphrasing!) but surely if you’re clearly showing a positive test you must still have an active virus? Oh well, I have to go out tomorrow so I will do my best not to breathe on anyone or touch anything (I am using hand protection).

@Zebracat im glad you broached the subject with DH and have a plan in place. Fingers crossed for you.

I’ve done a little bit of garden design in my time but its been fairly basic tbh, I am absolutely terrible with plants and trees so other than drawing a pretty picture I would be useless! 😄

Not tried sending cake or anything fresh as I’ve no idea how feasible it would be for them to get it. Like others say, it goes to a central parcel room. If you can order cake via Amazon they could deliver to a locker?? 😀