Thread 44 GCSE Covid Cohort - Countdown to Christmas & New Year

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

It’s been lovely to read about all of your Christmases with dc at home. I’ve loved having my son home. He’s worked hard (both revision and life guarding) and has socialised even harder! I feel really lucky that he loves family time too so we’ve had lots of board game and movie nights with him. He was poorly when he got home but that didn’t stop him doing anything. A different lurgy has since hit Dh and Dd which ds and I are hoping to avoid 🤞

I’m really starting to dread him going away again though. His starting university has been a real trigger for my existing anxiety and low mood issues and I feel really sad at the thought of him going away again. I’m good at hiding how I’m feeling though…years of practice!

Sorry to those of you who are struggling with stroppy and ungrateful teens. Everything hits harder at Christmas time doesn’t it?

Seasonal wishes to all (catchall greeting to cover belated Christmas and early New Year!). We've had a lovely Christmas, all our family together visiting my mother in my home town, which I don't get to go to enough. The 'children' all got on well, which I wasn't sure would be the case as they aren't used to living together anymore (nor with us!) and it's been a very happy time. I'm sad to leave and go back to reality and routine, though - starting to think about setting some good goals for trying new things in 2023. I also want to re-ignite my 2020 resolution of going to the theatre every couple of months in 2023 - I started it off well in early 2020 but then we all know what happened to outings-based resolutions!

It has taken me ages to find this group again, it is nice to hear the majority of you have had a lovely time with your DC. Mine has reverted back to lazing around and mostly going to meet friends or watch rugby. He’s been lovely though and I know I will miss him when he goes back. @ScarlettDarling i feel sad about it too, lucky DS knows I struggle with it so texts and phones me enough to keep me happy.
I went back to work yesterday as it’s year end, so already back in the swing of it. After all the entertaining it feels like a relief to go back to normality.
is @Monkey2001 around? As wanted to see how her DS was doing with his medical application. I can’t believe it’s been a year since that horrendous process.

Ds has gone off to the pub with 5 mates. He's not seen 4 of them this holiday. He's leaving for Sussex in the morning. I am working tomorrow so not sure I'll see him before he goes. He's not done any written work for his 4 essays yet, but apparently has done some research for 2. He said he will be on his own without distraction for more than 3 weeks, so will get them done. I feel quite sad that he wants to return to an empty flat rather than be here. It has put a downer on Christmas for me, I know it's selfish of me and I should be glad he's happy, I wasn't bothered when I dropped him off for the first time. I'm not sure why I feel sad about it really, he is great company (when he's up) He has actually been about a lot during the day the past 4 days. He doesn't plan to come back home until Easter. Ds1 is off to NZ next week. It's going to be strange with only ds3. I should be pleased at the thought of less cleaning, less laundry etc.

@OrangeCinnamonLatte Amused by your Danny Devito but not here thanks. We watched Deck The Halls the other day which hasn't aged too badly.

On ageing films/TV, DS enjoyed the Bad Boys films with Will Smith so we've started the original Miami Vice series. The hair dos!

@ProggyMat It's the little things isn't it? Got to say it put a lump in my throat as we're not really a family of traditions.

Went to lunch with a friend and our DS's today so caught up on what many of their school friends are up to. A lot have found university/course is not for them this year and come home. Many more than usual it seems (friend also has an older DS}.

Thanks @ealingwestmum @ZittiEBuoni @Benjispruce4 they're the ones I was thinking, but wasn't sure if there were other brands out there that I'd missed. DH would like to get her a better long lasting make, and doesn't understand the whole following the crowd thing. I think it will be between urban outfitters and possibly hollister due to sales atm.

@Seeline sorry you feel unappreciated. It's really hard isn't it? My children are really good making an effort, dh less so though. When it was my 50th I felt really hurt by his lack of effort.

Hello @sazzy5 , how nice to hear from you again, hope DS is loving Exeter. Yes, I am still here. DS got 4 interviews this year, has already done UEA (good) and Newcastle (bad). Top two choices (Sheffield and Leicester) are in January. Does not expect to hear from any of them until March.

I'm still in bed. Ds1 is too. Ds2 (who is also rude and selfish) got up early to buy Prime in local Asda, and has now gone off 2 towns away to play football. Dh has gone to work. (He's been ill and intolerant) Our days out to Ivy with mum, and then Spurs Edge we're good. So now some slobbing.

But I've just been in to tell ds1 how sad he's making me. He's so unpleasant. He was nasty to ds2 yesterday yet again, they argued throughout the event, and left ds2, again, which I told him he just can't do. I was so looking forward to him coming home, but not this, I'm not sure what I was expecting, it's not horrendous, but I was hoping for a bit better than this. and We all are not sure we want him home again.

I've also told him he's 1/2 way through his stay, been home for 2 weeks, 2 weeks left, so he better start on the revising for his 3 exams. And to make a bit more effort generally.

He says I'm overthinking it.

Sorry/sympathy to Seeline and icanbe.

Merry Christmas all, I haven't caught up with everything yet, have been running round like a headless chicken all Christmas and now I'm ill - hoorah!

As a special Christmas surprise, DS has sprung the guarantor thing on me saying it has to be signed before Saturday!! It's been sent through Goodlord website(?) and of course is saying we must be joint and severally guarantors. I don't want this but don't appear to have any time to negotiate thisduring the Christmas holidays. There is nothing to state any limit on the liabilities - is this normal? I see others online saying it is limited to a quarter of the amount owed.

The rent is £2383 per month but the first payment is £6050 plus a deposit of £1,250. This all seems like a lot! Is this what everyone else has had to do? Any advice most welcome!!

@Oblomov22 the novelty of dd bring home has worn off. One term into living an independent life has made her struggle to adapt back home. I think she will end up going back earlier than initially planned.

NCT, ds1 can go back any earlier than Sunday 15th.

You all know me, I'm organised, get the bare essentials done, but spend more time in my bed than you lot put together. Dh is hard on ds1, but he's a leader, gets up at 6, does all the ironing, food shopping and makes a chilli by 8. He's positive.

Ds1 to Dh early on, (the day after tomahawk steak Dh welcoming home meal possibly) : "You're so negative. I've been living with Christian's, who are positive in life."

Dh: well, you know where you can go then.....

Me in the lounge. Guffaw. You pompous toad. I'll tell Nana that and you can talk about it when we take her for lunch.

(My mum is the most wonderful woman. And the most godly Pentecostal Christian I know). She was not impressed.

Is it kiddies who have sleeps till Christmas. My countdown to drop off is on.

(And my countdown to my 50th in 4 weeks). If I'm not in jail for wringing his neck.

If anyone has younger DSs choosing unis, avoid Sheffield Hallam. I now have two ex students who have dropped out, both lovely. The accommodation situation there is clearly awful.

DS1 has now gone back to Lincoln so we are here just with 2. This holiday has reinforced to me what a workaholic he is. Took 3 days off around Christmas but every other day he has spent at least three hours on uni work.

@Piggywaspushed DS's GF is very happily at Hallam doing nursing. The first year accommodation is all private and expensive for Sheffield, but seems good quality. She was Covid year, so socially odd, but not sure that was anyone's fault.

Not sure what happened to my tow but SHU doesn't do its own accommodation and so I think the other stuff can be hit and miss. I certainly read some awful reviews of one of the places online!

It does seem a bit bizarre for a uni to have no accommodation of their own. I gather if things go wrong there is not a great deal of support .

DS is playing on his Xbox. He has done no uni work but tells me it's all in hand. He has 3 essays to write by the 11th and two exams to revise for (He thinks it's one but he's wrong) I'm trying to be supportive, I know he's had a rough time, but it's so hard to watch. His next excuse will be New Years Eve, New Year's Day, his birthday....

DD has just booked her flight back to Ghana (early 18th birthday present) whilst the fares are cheap. She's going for the whole of July and is going to be unbearable with excitement for the next six months. Just the small distraction of A Levels and Prom dresses first.

@Piggywaspushed I didn’t know that about Hallam. Seems odd when Uni of has plenty of halls accommodation- guarantees it for all first years, even those going through clearing.

DNiece is at SHU doing teaching. She’s in private student accommodation that she chose. She’s happy.

I know it was cheap too- about £120pw! DD’s was £180 at NTU!!

Sorry to hear some feel unappreciated. DD1 22 has been back since 23rd but been quite ill. Luckily ok enough for 25th but missed our Boxing Day light trail. She should have gone back yesterday but is staying to recover- cough and sinusitis. DD2 18 has been well and enjoying her bf being back. Both girls are wfh today which is a pain. However both were very helpful preparing Christmas dinner and dessert and bought us both nice gifts.

@Oblomov22 you have the opposite problem to me...I didn't want ds2 to go back to uni early, but he's gone 😭 I know how you feel though as ds1 was awful when he used to come home from university. ds1 and ds3 are both grumpy characters. Nothing I can do is ever right for either of them. Ds1 has no tolerance of ds3 and regularly threatens to punch him. Both of them seem to think we all hate them, but have no understanding of how they make us feel. I wish the dc's still at home were more like ds2 rather than like each other. ds2 does like to wind me up. He's still fun to be around though. More than anything I'd quite like the dc's to like each other. But that's never going to happen.

I was a bit worried that my girls wouldn’t get along as they’re quite different but so far they’ve been alright. There’s always time though!

@Oblomov22 We used to have to bite our tongues so much when DD1 was home from uni, especially the first few visits. She knew everything and made some well off friends and seemed to make us feel like poverty stricken parents at times. Thankfully now she has moved out and pays rent, she has more appreciation for the cost of living.

Belated Christmas wishes to all. We've really been enjoying having DD home and I am already feeling sad about her going back in the new year. It's bittersweet really as I know she's enjoying the course and I'm glad she's not too far away, but it's hard to say goodbye.

Hope all your DC have had a restful Christmas and you've all enjoyed some lovely family time.