Thread 41 Corona Cohort - Autumn Adventures of our Adult Children

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

previous thread

I’m going through the same transition with ds @mummyinbeds @Heifer . Finding it very hard to trust that he’s doing everything he needs to be doing, but he’s been good at getting up in time for school these last two weeks without my intervention and he changed subjects and got a new timetable under his own steam so I’m gradually letting go! He desperately wants to be independent. Dd has always been more capable with organisation so I’ve not been too involved.

DD is in a group chat with class-mates so they can remind each other of things. The only nagging I've had to do was about her medication. Next point of concern is a rent payment next week, I think that should be automated but I'll check with her! They will find a way to get the information, I'm sure.

Sorry to hear about ds being spiked @Monkey2001 . It’s scary. The thing that puzzled me was that dd only remembered to tell me about it a whole day later and after updating me on loads of other stuff first. It seemed to be just one of those things they maybe expect to happen??

@crazycrofter Sorry to hear about the spiking. Seen on Twitter from a reputable source here seems to be an autumn surge. Apparently Durham have older students posted in the clubs keeping an eye out for the vulnerable freshers.

@heifer Sympathy on the hockey trials. DS also not made any of the 6 teams at his uni though he did get to one of the trials. He's going to look for other opportunities to play.

Heated airer we've had a Lakeland one for donkeys years which is brilliant and don't have the listed problem of it only drying the actual heated rod. Ours is fab and dries brilliantly.

We are exhausted. Done 25000 steps round the museums and shops of Cambridge. Had coffee with DS this morning which was lovely. He was up at 7 and wanted company I think. Last night he had Freshers quiz, walk round city centre with two boys in his little corridor and then his college parents took him to a second year party in one of the college houses. He was home by 11 which is late for him so quite tired. His room is on a corner ground floor and he said it was a bit noisy during the night with people coming and going. Today he has had welcome talker and subject brunch and now he is having college sports and games. They have freshers pizza night at 9. He seems okay so far. There are three of them in his part of the corridor and all have doors propped open, then there are four more the other side of the corridor. Kitchen quite large. He has quite a few meetings tomorrow with various subject leaders. I think he will feel better when he has work to do - all a bit drifty at the moment.

I text Ds this morn to ask if he wanted to FaceTime as not spoken to him properly since he left. His reply...no I have too much to do. He did say he's fuming as they have no hot water. The reviews I read said the hot water was constantly going off, but they were very old reviews. One of the lads showers hasn't worked since they started, so he's using ds's. Also they can't get the app to work for launderette. So apart from being dirty with no clean clothes all is going well.

DD's house had a problem with the shower, the water was dripping out of the light fixture below! Hope things get fixed soon. Well done to those who've moved today!

DS (Yr11) who is very very different from DD has just headed off (on public transport) to a friend's birthday party. It's at the ice rink, for "a bit of a laugh." I don't think that any of his friends know that figure-skating is one of his many hobbies (not in his top two, though) and that he can do spins, jumps, etc. Could be fun for him!

@Monkey2001 @crazycrofter : scary spiking stories: Ds doesn’t drink which I always think might keep him slightly safer, but also means he’s not streetwise on things like that…

we have heated throws @singingstones and love them! I used it for wfh quite a bit last year and works well. Also oodies for the full snuggle effect!

Very sad to read about spiking. Who are the people who do this?
I have fallen out with my fledgling. She’s never been great at communicating when away, and generally I am understanding. She didn’t answer 2 messages and that was ok. But she asked us to collect a letter from the surgery for DSA. It was £40.00 and out of our way. I told her we had it and asked if we should send it, and what was her address. She just didnt reply. Eventually I did send a snappy message. She replied right away that-she hadn’t seen the messages( she had) , and that she’d been going to call that evening( yeah right). I haven’t responded. I think she needs to learn that relationships aren’t one way. I think I will wait until she messages again. I genuinely think that she needs to do better.
Dh thinks we should respond , but I’m p.o with him too. We had family here today and he sloped off after an hour to watch the Grand Prix, while I wrangled 2 small children, a frail relative and a raging hypochondriac. Would a woman ever wander off to watch telly in those circumstances?

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn @mummyinbeds I think regular football trials were yesterday but according to DS there are seven teams and were more than 500 people trying out (and it also includes second and third years) so my DS isn't too hopeful about getting in, despite being a decent player. He hasn't mentioned anything about the social clubs yet but I hope he finds one as he's always made good friends through playing. His course demographic skews quite female though so not sure if that will affect which sports are played per faculty.

@blinkbonny I spoke to DS about an hour ago and he did the law ones today and there were over 50 turned up to that and 2nd and 3rd years there. He doesn’t think he’ll get picked. He did say that the main teams are also 2nd and 3rd years too like your DA said. Tough competition!

@ZebracatI get annoyed at the ‘only contact when they need something’ approach of our teens, I do tell DH that we should do the same but it’s hard as we want to know he’s OK.

I also agree I don’t know any woman who would sneak off to watch tv for an hour while hosting a gathering!

Sorry to read about the spiking incidents. This is my biggest nightmare.

@Zebracat It's upsetting but I do cut some slack for the enormous changes they are facing in becoming independent.
Your DH is apparently also still on the path to being a considerate human being. To quote Miranda "So rude".

DS is going to crack open the Breville tonight apparently...

He says he needs new clothes. I have reminded him he is studying in the UK's second largest city where there are multiple Primarks.

Hockey news - DD has been picked for the Uni 4th team and the Medics 1st team - who play in the same league! So a decision needs to be made, but not sure by when.
Lots of prep study needed for each of her lectures “or you don’t have a clue what’s going on…”

@KingscoteStaff probably safest to go for the medic team as they will be careful not to clash with medic commitments.

Snap @Monkey2001 ead going to say the same thing about teams !

What’s the Breville @Piggywaspushed ?! I think dd aimed to take so many clothes that she wouldn’t have to waste money on laundry too often! Hence why she bought loads more just before uni. I haven’t heard of her doing any washing yet, although she may well not report that sort of thing!

Well done to dd on the hockey trials @KingscoteStaff ; I’d also say she should go for the medics team. They’ll all be around for 5 years too.

How is your dd @BlueMarigold ? Has she been able to go back yet?

Well done to @KingscoteStaff DD. There is a case for go for the uni team to widen social circle? If they are in the same league then timetable clashes should be few?

Yeah DS wanted to take our toastie maker. I stood firm 😂

DD is now ‘in residence’ and after an awful traffic jam in the city - @ScarlettDarling hope you didn’t get caught up in it- and a lengthy drive back oop North I’m home and knackered to say the least.
Her college is absolutely stunning ‘in the flesh’ !
I left her at 1 as by then all her stuff had been dragged up her staircase, bed made, stuff put away and she wanted to ‘get amongst it’ 😂
She’s sent pics of her food in hall and is out clubbing tonight - that’ll do for me!

I just got a text ... 'should lots of smoke be coming from the toastie maker?'

@ProggyMat Oxford traffic is always awful. Glad that it all went well! A friend who isn't on MN also dropped off her DS there today. Hard to go down south and back in a day (I'm in Newcastle).

@Piggywaspushed How much is a new toastie maker?