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Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Original poster

Thread 40 - Corona Cohort , Falling into Autumn 🍂

983 replies

CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee · 14/09/2022 07:43

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

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Benjispruce4 · 21/09/2022 19:13

I chased up last week and they said they would send the card again. But we got a credit card with a £500 limit.
Anyone had a dodgy freshers wristband? DD paid £30 through NTU site but they don’t work.

PaddingtonPaddington · 21/09/2022 19:16

@Benjispruce4and @Fiddlersgreen I can join in with the HSBC saga, having said last week DDs online banking code never turned and she had to set it up via telephone banking it arrived today! DD has made the 5 transactions so awaiting the free £100…

@Piggywaspushed DD has a euphonium player in her flat but they are all musicians so all making noise. The irony is they all chose a quiet flat.

@Alsoplayspiccolo sorry to hear your DD hasn’t contacted you much. Hopefully she will do soon.
DD is strings - violin, also plays viola, guitar, piano and sings, I’ve joined the instagram accounts as she will probably not look at them. Her inattentive ADHD means she just isn’t organised enough with anything and gets easily overwhelmed.

Had a text from DD to say her harmony test went well and she had a good day. Hopefully I can stop fretting about her this evening.

Piggywaspushed · 21/09/2022 19:18

Hi benji. DS got an email saying the money was being returned. I'll have a look and see if a contact number is on the email.

Piggywaspushed · 21/09/2022 19:23

Our York email came from a do not reply account.Sorry

Benjispruce4 · 21/09/2022 19:40

Ok thanks @Piggywaspushed

omnishambles · 21/09/2022 20:47

And Just Like That...we are packed! Not going until Saturday so it is clogging up the living room but still. DONE!

NCTDN · 21/09/2022 21:34

CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee · 21/09/2022 11:27

Oh and the vacumn bags were rubbish..slowly started inflating again but will last the journey. Lakeland next time.

I got some from The Range. They were great.

Isthisjustnormal · 21/09/2022 21:43

Goodness - not keeping up but just wafting across the thread ;-)

mummyinbeds · 21/09/2022 21:43

Took DD to football training and now the car has broken down. The breakdown truck estimates 11.30pm 😭 DS is at his gf's and hasn't finished finding his stuff to take in the morning and we are now going to have to squeeze it all into our tiny car. I could do without this right now 😱

Fruitygal · 21/09/2022 21:51

@Oblomov22 Still back on page 26 trying to catch up after a day of lots of consultations, emails and media stuff on top of normal deadlines ...which is doing my head in as I have had to leave last minute stuff to DD and DH - (wipeboard from revision coming in handy for lists for them) - I had to laugh at your comments parents on FB ....I feel for those with single children and are single parents as must be quiet and weird. Some appear hysterical ...concerning that they didn't make a plan to keep busy with things on week 1 post drop off.

I think you need a plan to avoid the empty nest stress. We have busy jobs so week sorted and have planned 3 weekends of the odd night and days out as a couple , plus friends socialising and a weekend away to ease us in. DD and I super close plus close to husband so will miss her but still like my DH a lot so not alone. They come back a lot and love the returns and the big dinners and chats when they do.

Trust me plan to be busy and while drop off is sad I think a lot of that is that you are nervous for them ...once they settle you relax ...

Fruitygal · 21/09/2022 22:03

@Benjispruce4 sorry you are having so many issues - sending
a hug - you are right about Cambridge and the tenner ....we are ok with HSBC and £100 received ...but was just a transfer to student account from current. Customer service has gone sub par since COVID.

Understartersorders · 21/09/2022 22:09

Thank you to everyone who offered advice and support after my post this morning. DS has had a much better day today, had his subject induction where he connected with someone and also came across a fellow non drinker who is in his hall so he had someone to eat dinner with. So relieved, and hopeful that this might be his change of fortune, he sounds so much happier this evening.

Fruitygal · 21/09/2022 22:12

@icanbewhatiwant my DS2 used to send me a K (for OK) - now he's finished uni he sends me messages and funny videos and general chat several times per week

ealingwestmum · 21/09/2022 22:13

That’s a very positive update Understartersorders. One day at a time right now.

Original poster
CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee · 21/09/2022 22:16

Good news @Understartersorders you do find yourself going with the same peeps for dinner when catered. Hope it continues.

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icanbewhatiwant · 21/09/2022 22:28

I did get a little text conversation with Ds. He wanted to know if he could still make a bolognese without OXO cubes. I told him....you don't answer any of my questions, but expect me to answer you.
He said he'd been on a bus to Asda with all the girls. He says he's not really eaten anything for 3 days as he's been drinking and didn't feel great. But no alcohol today and feels better. He has 5 lectures a week. I asked how long lectures are, he said dk, that means don't know. Then he sent a pic of his finger with a plaster. Ds1 said the small knife I bought him for uni was brilliant. So I ordered 3 they were cheap on amazon. I promptly almost chopped the top of my finger off cutting up chicken with them. Then Ds cut his finger on them rooting round the cutlery drawer. Now he's cut himself again. They are only small cerated knives. I won't listen to ds1's recommendation again.

Original poster
CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee · 21/09/2022 22:44

I think today went OK! As much as it could anyway...

Traffic was great only 2 1/2 hrs to Cardiff.
Arrived lovely weather thanks for ordering @Alsoplayspiccolo @singingstones ... a bit lost re: parking and key pick up but let Dd sort it , she came back to car with her keys and promptly dropped an airpod down the drain. Luckily a kind maintenance guy retrieved with a gadget contraption.

Found her halls and someone she recognised from Snapchat who showed us the way. No amount of WIWIKAU uni room dressing could help here. The corridors were very long with fire doors in between ...we had to walk through about six! Dd room is not even in a corridor though. It is at the top of the fire stairs and the door to the corridor where her bathroom and kitchen is next to it. She has a weird tiny lobby that is not good for anything and her room is smaller than everyone else's. I made the bed up for her and helped her decide where to put things. I could tell DH was a bit perturbed so sent them both in the kitchen to unpack there. Kitchen nice and long , not the most modern. The shower and toilet room looks OK. I like the area, it's residential, leafy and quiet.
Dd did cry when we left and I could tell DH was worried, he started asking me in the car anxious stuff like 'what if she is crying now or doesnt make friends bevause of the room situatio " It turns out though that Dd was already out and about with 7 of the others exploring Roath and picking up Tea bags in tesco express etc. 5 of them have moved in her section of the corridor and they've been going round picking up others to chat to / go out with.

We had a videochat about half an hour ago so she could say goodnight to the Greyhound. Tomorrow there will be a Lurcher at the student union (therapy dog) called Luna, so she was going to see who wants to go with her.

I think she's going to be OK 😶🤔 just wish she didn't have to wait over a week for lessons to start now. Music society stuff should kick off next week though.

Thanks for all your support all...am sure more will be required. Feel guilty that I don't feel sad, just relieved.

OP posts:
278Newnames · 21/09/2022 22:51

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee glad it went well!!

Understartersorders · 21/09/2022 22:53

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee glad it went well!

Monkey2001 · 21/09/2022 22:56

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee Phew!

Original poster
CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee · 21/09/2022 23:00

Sorry bit long all... I actually think the room situ can be made a positive Dd can escape a bit easier from socialising when she needs to and it's a bit quieter.

OP posts:
singingstones · 21/09/2022 23:00

Sounds like that could have gone a lot worse Orange, hope she continues to enjoy herself and that you can relax a bit now.

ealingwestmum · 21/09/2022 23:02

Take the relief Orange, you’ve earned it!

HarrietDVane · 21/09/2022 23:15

What a relief @OrangeCinnamonCroissant - I hope she settles quickly.

crazycrofter · 21/09/2022 23:17

That sounds positive @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee !