Thread 40 - Corona Cohort , Falling into Autumn 🍂

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

Oh, and contact hours will vary hugely by subject. Essay subjects have less guided time than STEM, on the whole, and much more independent study. DD has 12 hours/week for a design subject (one full day and two half days).

Yes, one of the reasons DS didn't in the end opt for History was the low number of contact hours, he prefers a more structured timetable and always used any extra study support sessions available to him in 6th form. It was something we looked very carefully at when choosing courses. DH and I had practically full timetables in STEM subjects, I remember being astonished that one of my flatmates only had 8 hours contact.

He didn't take any decorative stuff to speak of, when we were in Ikea I suggested a rug and he looked at me as if I was mad. He didn't take anything like that to boarding last year either, no photos or posters or similar. Some of the rooms on WIWIKAU look like interiors magazines.

Good luck Orange and welcome to Cardiff if you're already here. Sorry to hear of fraught relationships, I was just thinking that so far today is going quite well here and then realised it's because DS isn't up yet 😂

I am trying to do last minute washing / sorting / baking whilst also working. Send an email - put wash on - send email - make jam etc etc.

Like Heifer my mind is racing with things I need to tell him before he goes. Nottinghammers DS hasn't had his timetable yet but the timetable for each module is on the modules bit of Nottinghamhub so they can select autumn term and the modules they are doing and see roughly what the week will look like. Some of DS's sessions appear more than once where they must be divided into smaller groups. DS is busy until 6pm on Fridays but does have Monday mornings off.

We have a farewell takeaway tonight, plus Bakewell tart (hence the jam) and either some games or a film. Then leaving at 0830 tomorrow.

Now I'm worrried that I can't think of anything I need to tell dd! @Heifer @singingstones what are the things you're telling them?!

All sorts of random stuff like making sure he has the numbers of his cousins who live nearby, need to talk about insurance as that isn't sorted yet, what washing instructions on a label mean (I think he knows this), how to use a thermometer (we have a digital in-ear one but he has an under the tongue / up the bum one), just lots of tiny things, all of which he will be absolutely fine to figure out himself 🤦‍♀️

Good luck Cinnamon!

Blimey Singing, never thought of most of those?
I've just text ds1 to ask how he's getting on with packing. I've cooked his favourite: spaghetti 🍝 and meatballs for tonight.

DS is getting a little terse & irritated now when I phone 🤦🏼‍♀️. He sounds more grown up & a bit dismissive of me.
But I'm not going to post on Facebook about my heart being broken. Why are all those parents being so dramatic?

I sent DS with a book called Life Skills for Young Adults, which is American so a few things don't apply such as healthcare, but most of it is very relevant, everything from washing labels to how to write a formal email, dealing with friendships, money, all sorts.

@Cantonet my DCs would (rightly) kill me if I posted stuff like that on FB in a group with 30k people in it likely including some of their friends parents.

Welcome to be the thread @ understartersorders.

@Alsoplayspiccolo first, thanks for the vacuum bag over-filling tip. I get mine from Ikea and have very mixed success, but do like to fill them up.

Could you send DD something "from home with love" - could be something home-baked or something pampering or something from Amazon. No heavy messages, just a "thinking about you" vibe, maybe something with good associations?

@Understartersorders welcome, I am sure it will get better when he joins societies and meets course mates. London can be very lonely until you make connections, but won't be long now.

Thanks @singingstones ! Apart from cousins’ numbers I think dd is ok with all those things! I do have a cousin nearby actually but I doubt dd will want her number 😂

Just spent 60quid in wilkos on odds and ends including under bed boxes and the like. Then we did a big Asda shop. Need to go for a lie down now.

As mentioned above, there are some AMAZING rooms. This mum does it professionally and may have picked up some customers from the fantastic job she did for her DS - www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10166660493380187&set=g.488235648182391

@Oblomov22 I always think "get a grip" when reading WIWIKAU but like me, you have a year 9 dc. Do you think that makes it easier for us having a much younger dc still at home? I don't know. I miss Ds but I'm not going to get upset about it. Perhaps not as close to my dc's as others are.

@OrangeCinnamonCroissant good luck. I have Lakeland vacuum bags...the air still comes out!

Still not hearing from ds2 he sent me the the letter W as a reply. So I know he's alive. He just doesn't want to message.

he sent me the the letter W as a reply

😂 your DS does make me laugh icanbe

@icanbewhatiwant I think still having one (or more) at home does make a difference. I missed my DS when he went 2 years ago, but I wasn't sad, I was excited for him. But DD is my baby! I am missing her much more, and with neither of them at home, I am really feeling a bit lost. This really isn't like me at all!!

@Seeline I wasn't bothered by ds1 going to university. But he was only 40 mins drive away. I also don't find him that easy to get on with. So I didn't miss him at all. He's home again now as he graduated this year. Ds3 is only 13 so having a dc much younger must help. I don't know how I will feel when and if he goes to university. I do miss ds2 and keep thinking he will be coming in the door around 4pm then i remember he won't. He's much further away that ds1 was too. But 2 dc's at home must help.

I mean that's just mad, DS's room at home isn't as nice as that. Also, you need to start with a nice room surely? I'm expecting office carpeting and magnolia walls with chip board furniture circa 1992.

I am excited for DS1, I will miss him but, as said previously, we barely see him anyway so I'm not sure how different things will actually feel!

I do have DS2 here as well (Yr10) and I am sure I'm going to worry much more about him as he is nowhere near as resilient.

@Cantonet I popped on there yesterday since (have an account but hardly ever log on) I was shocked to read some of the posts. One poster in particular said since dropping off their dc about 2 days ago, 'the tears had not stopped', they couldn't breathe properly and were now, 'shaking'.

I'm just puzzled. Of course, I will miss ds. But perhaps I'm not best placed to comment as ds has been a weekly boarder since 13. I will miss him terribly and probably jump whenever the phone rings but I am even more excited about the the fact he is going on to the next stage of his life after such a difficult time, especially with his SEN and then problems during exams. Everytime I remember he is resuming uni this weekend I just smile...and that's what makes me think perhaps I'm just a little weird? I wonder if the posters of day children on this thread are experiencing similar emotions?

The amazing room appear to be missing the hockey kit bag, the tennis bag and multiple pairs of stinky trainers, and for some a euphonium ;)

Well, somebody posted a comment that her DS is in the same hall and has a room more like my DS's would be.....

I agree that room is nicer than DS's actual bedroom and does not appear to contain any clobber.

To add to our last-day-at-home tension, DCat has just staggered in with a wound to his throat and wheezy breathing so DH has taken his to the vet. I hope he's ok because he and DS are very close and I have a couple of cards / presents for DS that are very much themed around that cat 😢