Thread 40 - Corona Cohort , Falling into Autumn 🍂

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

That’s proper grown up responsibility though Oblomov keeping you awake, people needing to be paid; my pooch still wants feeding at that time thinking DD is still around and getting up for swimming then. I keep telling her she’s gone now but she just won’t listen!

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn DS also hasn't got the 'fluffy' things people have been filling rooms with. He doesn't want cushions, fairy lights or rugs and doesn't see the point in printing out photos to take. He has got two plants though, one of which he has had for a couple of years and is quite attached to, but that is about it. In reality there are shops everywhere and online ordering, anything forgotten could soon be obtained so I really wouldn't worry.

WIWIKAU has some extreme posts particularly over the last few days. I will be upset and did have tears in my eyes in front of my two DSs the other day, but it was accidental and fleeting. (The other DS had just announced he would be abroad for work for 6 weeks soon so it highlighted the empty nest.) DS doesn't go until this weekend and I'm sure I'll have moments of tears over the next few weeks but I'm also sure I'll then get on with my life and adapt. I am so excited for him. I do feel sorry for those with the more extreme reactions but some of the posts are just bonkers.

@Heifer I'm so pleased that your DD has calmed and you have found a way to calm rather than escalate those situations.

Popcorn, same here. No/minimal fluffy stuff.

I'm Assuming ds1 is at home packing now. He seems very organised and has 2 sets of bedding already washed. All stuff ironed.

Apart from a few ikea bags and a super thick Costco mattress topper there's going to be nothing in my car, plenty of room for his bike.

Popcorn

Hugs to you Piccolo. ❤️

I'm jealous of those with minimalist kids. Dd had shown no interest in buying anything for uni until the last two weeks. But we've now got piles of cushions, throws, an airer, mattress topper, fake plants, the electric wax melter recommended by someone etc etc etc .... She's worried that she'll need an iron too, does anyone know if they have them in the pantries in Rutland? I've no idea how we'll fit it all in plus three of us in our small Sandero Stepway. Dh reckons he can strap the suitcases to the roof bars and doesn't need a roofbox?!

Thanks for the welcome, it’s nice to have an outlet with others who know what this is like!
@ealingwestmum societies sign up is this week and I’ve encouraged him to join as many as he can to make some connections. I’m hoping when classes start next week it will be easier with smaller groups, he will definitely find that less intimidating.
@Seeline he is at LSE so living in central London. Not a million miles from home as we are in Surrey, but in a way that makes it worse! Lectures and tutorials start next week, I think for some of the more timid ones, Freshers isn’t that helpful and it would be easier for them if they were straight into classes!

Thanks for the reassurances all, glad it's not just me!

@Oblomov22 that is exactly what I am envisaging!😂

I did panic buy two Ikea bags yesterday as, beside my neatly packed storage boxes, random things have now appeared that don't fit.

DS1 is getting stressed about getting himself to school tomorrow without us being there to escort him. Get on the bus you lazy so and so, like everyone did before Covid!

I meant DS2

@Alsoplayspiccolo and @Heifer I'm sorry to read about your drop offs, our DCs really don't understand the hurt they cause with their careless comments and (in)actions.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn we haven't dropped DD off yet :-) <My angst was an argument earlier in the week.... fingers crossed for a pleasant drop off tomorrow..

@crazycrofter I am sure I read somewhere there is an iron in the pantry and not to bring one.

Welcome @Understartersorders . I have a similar DS who boarded during the week for 6th form and it was a disaster at the start. I think the societies might help him, are there any he is interested in and have they started yet? Once the academic stuff starts properly he will hopefully find more people there too.

Reassure him there will be others too in the same boat and he will find them, just for now it takes a bit of time. A lot of the friendships made in the first week don’t stick long term. We used to watch something with DS in the evening sometimes with us watching at the same time and him at the end of a WhatsApp call and I think that helped a bit take the edge off some nights.

I’m sure that will be the case Understartersorders, being around people with similar interests is key to finding compatible friendships, here’s to a better week for him!

Anecdotal story for him: lots of freshers who are up for partying are struggling with the London scene. Having bought expensive Fresher wrist bands, the collegiate system includes UCL, Imperial etc, resulting in 2 hour waits to venues, overcrowding and general mayhem to the getting to know you lark. Gotta love London sometimes!

Hang in there. Both of you.

DS has now conceded to taking a rug and a couple of plants and some posters. Thats it though.

Apologies @Heifer for my misunderstanding. I hope tomorrow goes well. I'll be at L&W hall if you need a drink after! x

@omnishambles DS would kill a plant in a week, maybe I'll get him a plastic one just to soften the edges.... 😄

Just getting ready to leave ...Car Jenga wasn't too bad...until I remembered the keyboard, guitar, mike stand etc...

Good luck @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee ! Hope she gives it a good go and settles quickly.

Oh and the vacumn bags were rubbish..slowly started inflating again but will last the journey. Lakeland next time.

Good luck @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee !

I didn’t want to tell you Orange thst my DH went to every damn B&M store in 40 mile radius for those bags. Glad he failed :)

Very best of luck on a smooth and drama free drop off 🤞

I've been looking at the room photos on WIWIKAU and thinking my house doesn't look anywhere near that good, never mind DS's uni room. He has packed the cushions and fake plants he has accumulated from Ikea over the last year (I say he's packed but he's still asleep and is going out soon to meet the few friends who are still home) His colour scheme is grey and whatever we already had 🤣

DD had a cry on the way to school this morning. DS had promised to take her every day before he goes but he couldn't be bothered to get up this morning. She realised tomorrow is the last chance and when she has to get the school bus home, he'll be gone 😢 I have too many lists in my head to think about being a blubbering mess - some of you might see that tomorrow in Nottingham but you won't know who I am so it's fine. I won't be posting pictures and telling all on WIWIKAU how distraught I am 🤣

Hello @Understartersorders!

My DD was halfway along the "take everything"/"minimalist" scale but has had several trips to the local Wilko and a craft fair at the weekend and her room is now kitted out. Personally I think this is a good compromise, but everyone's different!

For those with trouble making friends, I would advise sticking it out until classes and societies start... but again, everyone will be different there. My DD met no new people during Fresher's Week, and although her housemates seem nice enough, they are pub/club people and DD isn't (doesn't drink at all). Initial friends are all from her (tiny) course, and they've joined to the same ultra-geeky society together where apparently they had an absolute blast.

Fingers crossed that others settle quickly, but the first week really isn't representative of the experience, for many many people.

He is only taking the ones already in his room - succulents and a cacti plus a spider plant! Nothing difficult to look after.

Good luck, CinnamonOrange!
Its a beautiful day in the ‘diff today, so hopefully your DD will arrive in gorgeous sunshine.
The knack to vacuum bags is not to over-fill them - 3/4 stuffed seems to work better.