Thread 40 - Corona Cohort , Falling into Autumn 🍂

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

Yes, will have to, although mum seems nice atm.

Obviously don't stay tough to stick it out if not wanted, Just in general , don't let the experience hamper anything.

I’m another that thinks Freshers week/days are a pile of poo. And I didn’t even go to uni. I hate the ‘gotta but a ticket or you don’t get in’, and general building of hype and encouragement of a good time when its mostly really cringe and forced, revolving around alcohol as the major icebreaker.

Your DS’s quiet hall is just brilliant Piggy!

DD hadn’t disclosed there was a violin and sax stowed in her room, and was panicking about the practising to not clash with roomies sleeping etc. But they’ve been delighted apparently this evening when she said which clubs she was approaching, so that’s a big sigh of relief from her!

DD's uni is a week or two ahead of most others as they run two long terms rather than three shorter ones. She found Freshers' Week a completely underwhelming experience. She's not into pubs/clubbing, and although there were a few course-related activities, they were relatively short icebreakers.

She started proper classes today (5 hours of drawing-from-life around Cambridge in groups, old-school pencil and sketchbooks, she says her wrists were aching by the end) and then went on to a student society afterwards with three of her course-mates. Turns out that there's an overlap between illustrators who obsessively draw fantasy characters, and people who like geeky roleplaying games.

Tomorrow she has digital animation class. Then Thursday is printmaking and crafts. If I had a single scrap of artistic talent I'd take those classes like a shot.

Birmingham and Lincoln gave the exact same Freshers' gifts in a box preprepped by some company. Interestingly, though, Brum's had Pot Noodle (doner kebab flavour anyone??) where Lincoln's has a miniature of some alcohol and a small Heineken. I may have tutted.

@Benjispruce4 I’m so sorry it isn’t improving for her, what a nightmare and she is trying so hard. I think at this point evaluating options for 2023 would be sensible so she has a plan B if still not going well by end of the 21 days. DD did the wrong course for her and changed after year 1 (both university and degree) and it was a positive thing for her.

I keep in touch with a former colleague on facebook, who last saw DD in person about 10 years ago. That colleague, who now lives in Cambridge and has obviously seen my fb updates about DD and recent pictures, walked past her while DD was sketching, and tells me that she almost said hello, until she realised that DD would have no idea at all who she was!

That’s interesting @Volterra . A teacher colleague told me today that she did a year at NTU before quitting and starting again elsewhere. It’s starting to feel inevitable.

It’s not that uncommon @Benjispruce4 . For DD it has worked out pretty well as she was able to straight onto year 2 of her current degree and has a certificate of higher education from her first year which is a very different subject.

I know of a couple of people who didn’t get on with first university after a week or two and went to a different one the following year and been very happy at new university and seen a fair few posts saying the same on here in the past. Absolutely no shame in doing it if that is what she decides to do. So sorry, this must be so stressful .

Your DD’s course sounds fab Photodad, I’d love to do that too. I’ve returned back to my creative roots after dropping art mid foundation in 1985.

My DS (in Y11) is thinking of engineering and somehow I don't think that will sound quite as attractive to me! I did some Art History classes a while back, which were probably the most interesting things that I've studied, but that's as far as it goes. Good luck with re-kindling the flame!

How many hours contact have your DCs got on their course? I think DD has 12.

12 here.

@Benjispruce4 my heart breaks for your DD, and for you, this is not the uni start anyone hopes for.
You spend ages telling them that everyone will be friendly as they are all the same boat etc.
I hope she remains positive and if it’s the wrong place and she needs to come home then so be it.
My DH dropped out and started again the following year elsewhere and my friends DD dropped out and went back the next year to the same uni, same course and loved it. Just wasn’t ready the first time around

Timetable wise I think DS has 12-15 hrs depending on whether there is a practical, they're not every week.

I had to laugh at @piggy's DS who is in a 'quiet' hall, where he plays the euphonium with a flatmate who has sensory issues (not funny!) and someone plays the Tuba? such silence!

@SallCymru so sorry to hear about what happened to your son, not that far from me 😔

For what it’s worth … within my first fortnight of university one of my new friends was beaten up, ended up in hospital. A girl - it was very odd, not a mugging or an obvious sexual assault (she was very drunk and couldn’t remember what happened, but she was examined). Obviously it was horrendous for her, and pretty scary for the rest of us. But she carried on socialising and doing her course, and got on just fine. Nothing remotely bad happened to any of us the rest of the time we were there.

I don’t know whether she ever told her parents what happened, I never told mine about it.

Mine has minimum 14 hours contact, some weeks they have field trips out so extra hours those weeks. He's off on a two day residential tomorrow.

@Benjispruce4 another one saying if she walks away she can do so with her head held high, she has given it her best shot despite it not being her first choice.

Sorry to hear of DD's experience @Benjispruce4 - hope things resolve one way or the other very soon. It all sounds very stressful.

I think I must be in the minority now with DD still at home! She's been allocated a drop-off time on Saturday so we are in the final straight at least. She's getting quite wobbly now. She wanted a quieter flat but has been put in the hall that seemingly has a reputation as the party house, with corridor style accommodation rather than individual flats. Just hoping it works out for her.

Welcome @SallCymru - I'm not sure what's happened to DS but I hope he's ok!

@Benjispruce4 sorry she’s having a tough time but as the others are saying she could contact York again ( nothing ventured nothing gained) or resit … or see how the first week of lectures goes next week.

DD has 19-22 hrs contact per week similar to a levels.

@Benjispruce4 it's a really tough choice. My gut reaction would be to say to stick it out for a month. However, if before 21 days it means she doesn't have to pay fees then it makes so much sense to get out in that time scale. What's the financial implication with hall fees?

@Benjispruce4 I’d also recommend your Dd trying lectures for a week before deciding, if she can bear to hang on. At least it would confirm for her either way if the course itself is what she wants.

@ealingwestmum I’m sure you already know that going to university in Ireland is very different to the UK - generally kids tend to go to their nearest one that offers the course they want. So many live at home or if not, they will have lots of school friends at the same place. But weekends are quiet in the UK too. It’s an opportunity to catch up with sleep & study. If your Dd finds it too lonely/hard to break into existing friendship groups, maybe a part time job would open up other opportunities?

The private accommodation is worrying me. Their policy talks of her finding a replacement tenant.

DS1 had that problem when a girl pulled out of a house in year 2. They did find someone in the end. Did you sign up as a guarantor? If not, the landlord can't really do much!