Thread 40 - Corona Cohort , Falling into Autumn 🍂

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

@Piggywaspushed exactly the same! Still awake at gone 3 last night with same worries. DD had gone to an event with people from a group chat, not her flatmates, and I was really worried about her getting back. She texted when she got in the night before, but didn't last night.... She has her first induction sessions this morning so needs to get up, so I'm worried about that too.

It was much easier with DS - there were still strict covid rules when he went off, so could only mix with his flatmates, and it was rarely possible to go clubbing etc.

@Piggywaspushed glad to see DS1 got his degree, he is clearly different from DS2, but heading in the right direction at his own pace! You know DS2 will be fine really, should be better by the weekend.

@Benjispruce4 your DD seems to be doing all the right things, hope she starts to find her tribe at the course intro and gin and cocktail events. Although a dull flat makes a difficult start, I think it would be worse to be in an excessively partying flat - at least she can go out and find friends and come back to a calm place, socialise on her own terms.

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee I can't remember how long the BF has been on the scenes, but I agree that it is unusual for a couple to stay together if one goes to university and the other doesn't. They have such a different life at university.

We are at the opposite end of things, a little bit of FOMO here, all his best friends are off, and although he loves his job and is confident that the gap year is the best thing for him, he would rather be off this year.

I was still awake past 3am and DS hasn't even gone yet. I'm starting to fret about drop-off day now.

@singingstones if it's any consolation, the run up to drop off was definitely worse than after DD getting there for me. But still worried 😁

I have been a bit worried about a party flat and suggested ear plugs just in case , DS thought it was a good idea.

I agree that the run-up is worse! Dd3 keeps asking when she’s coming home :( they’re very close.

I dropped dd off yesterday and she seems to be ok. Her uni is only minutes from her student accommodation, which itself is very nice too. She’s been texting me to let me know how things are going.

Ds did say that he wondered if he'd get any peace and quiet. I wouldn't fancy carrying a key fob round with you 24-7. Like when We went on holiday, to Majorca at Easter. It's fine eating in the restaurant, but after a week that novelty wears off quickly. And when I get back home I just wander about the house aimlessly in my dressing gown, in silence.

@Benjispruce4 it's all sounding more promising for your DD. I think it can take a while to find your tribe at uni. I agree though, a partying flat would be a lot worse.
I'm not sure who posted for an alarm recommendation but this is the one I bought for Ds.

DS has been given a key fob to wear around his neck plus another for his uni id. at Surrey. Brilliant idea as he tends to lose things.

BF has not been on scene long (April) but they did go out a few years ago for a week and have been friends on and off.

He is really nice, I don't get my spidey senses alerted like I have done with others (who have been manipulative, controlling etc). Unfortunately they are in completely different situations now, but quite besotted, which is easy to be when Dd at college and he is local.

Just checking in so I don't lose the thread. Feeling sorry for myself as I have a stinker of a cold and of course no-one is pampering me like I was pampering DS last week when he was ill.

Most of DS's friends have gone this weekend so we actually have seen quite a bit of him this weekend, he went out on Saturday and met a boy who he was besties with in Year 7 but then drifted away from when the form classes were all changed. Turns out he's also going to Notts to do law so DS will know someone there after all.

Haven't caught up with the thread yet as it moves so fast but hope everyone is OK and that the moves have gone smoothly.

@Benjispruce4 it sounds like she's doing all the right things. She'll find her people eventually, it's just a matter of meeting as many people as possible in the meantime!

@piggywaspushed ds2 sounds so sensible, I'm sure he'll be fine! Do you mean experience drunkenness in others or himself? It's hard to avoid at uni, so he'll get used to it!

Dd is having a nice time on the CU freshaway and at least it means she'll know a few more people once she's gets to uni on Saturday.

Must admit I'm wondering if dd2's relationship with bf will last now he's at uni and she's still in y13. Both are aiming to get winter Saturday jobs so there won't be any weekend meet-ups either.

Congrats to your DS1 Piggywaspushed, hope he comes up with a plan for his future soon.

crazy, I mean in himself! I know he will at some point ,but had it in my head that the night before a 10am induction session was not the right first time to get blotto!

As it goes, he texted me at 7.38 with his Wordle thoughts so no need to fret!

That's the clock we bought too but the upgraded version with a night light on top. I tried linking it before but failed miserably 😣

Ours is out of her room! She went to Spoons last night and I got my 1st ever drunken WhatsApp from her. So it’s all good.

Yay @Zebracat!

I’ve just had my first meeting with ds’ new sixth form. He hasn’t been on time once yet 😩 He told me that form time wasn’t important and they didn’t care, but clearly they do… He still hasn’t given me his homework app login either and I haven’t seen him doing any work yet.

Good news @Zebracat. Spoons is ideal for student socialising!

I have messaged Ds a few times to ask if he found out how to complete his registration, plus asked a few other questions. No reply of course. But he did send a pic from my Facebook page of his first day in year 7 along with another he has taken today with his bag pack on, holding the straps the same as his year 7 pic. he's doing a silly smile too. So I replied first day of university? At least I know he's ok even if he doesn't answer my questions.

That is really cute icanbe!

@omnishambles We now have instructions for dropping off at Broadgate Park, email arrived today 👍

Re the wait for them to go being worse than them going, it's taking up so much head space that I am looking forward to it in a way. But also dreading it. And very tired because our paths keep crossing just as I am about to go to bed and he suggests watching something. Usually I would say no, but at the moment I am taking every chance to spend a bit of time together, so staying up way past my bedtime.

Oh well, it will soon be over, in 48 hrs he should be in and unpacking. Hopefully I will still be there as I don't fancy back to back 3-4hr drives, a break would be good, even if I spend it making his bed and buying his booze!

I feel great now it’s done. The house is a tip, the pets need grooming and the garden is in need of some slash and burn, but somehow, I don’t care! Feels like there is endless time for sorting everything and for a little while I’m just going to enjoy the space in my head. Maybe wander up and take a look at my pear tree, water my winter lettuce.
After all, it might all go tits up tomorrow.

I know what you mean zebra, I have a lot of things on hold until after he's gone, the house is a total mess.

Yesterday was the weirdest day, not helped by the funeral. The house was SO quiet and, with nowhere to go and nothing to do, DH and I kept looking at each other and sighing.
When we went up to bed (about 2 hours earlier than normal!), I didn’t know whether to close the blinds in the DC’s bedrooms, so I did, but it feels weird to open them in the morning, only to find empty beds.

I’ve kept myself busy today, food shopping, taking the dog for a long walk, sorting and cleaning DD’s bedroom and then teaching after school.
DS is home for his first exeat on Friday, so I’m looking forward to that but I know it’ll be over in a flash.

Benji, there are a mix of parents over on WIWIKAU, some saying their DCs are unhappy because their flatmates haven’t come out of their room…and some saying they’re anxious because their DC ARE the flatmates who aren’t leaving their rooms! So, hopefully, your DD might find her flatmates appearing gradually, once their parents have given them a push.
She sounds like she’s doing a brilliant job of getting on with things, which takes guts.

PasdingtonPaddington, was your DD’s audition today? I asked a cellist I know who is a 4th year and was auditioning today what they were for, and she said to be placed in ensembles and for masterclasses; apparently, it’s the first year they’ve had to audition.

@Alsoplayspiccolo Thanks for words of support. The flatmates are coming out more now but to be with their own groups. The girl has friends in the kitchen again and DD wants to eat. She’s a bit shy and they are ‘roadmen’according to DD.
The quiet lad knocked on her door late last night asking she had cling film. She went to get some and asked if he goes out much and ge told her he doesn’t drink, he takes LSD, MDMA and coke. She said he was very strange and she realised he was in something so left him with her cling film at 11pm!
Its all so weird, she can’t believe her bad luck!