Thread 40 - Corona Cohort , Falling into Autumn 🍂

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

@deuxgarcons Yes, Swansea for us on Friday too. Is your DS headed for Singleton or Bay? DS has chosen Kilvey in Singleton which looks pretty grim but perfectly located. Keeping everything crossed for him that he gets a view of the park! He had no idea until this afternoon that you’re supposed to book check in slots. Thankfully it wasn’t an issue.

He’s very different to DD who asked me to login to her email & help…

He’s raring to go though & talking to his sister this morning has really added to that. He has a few mates staying at home & one going to Southampton so plenty of friends still about this week - he’s not twiddling his thumbs.

@boxcar DS is at Bay campus for both course and halls, hoping for a view of the beach! I think they do get together with students from singleton in clubs and going out in the city centre etc. That was the impression I got when we visited. He has met some of his course and halls on whatapp and snap GC now so knows when some of the others are moving in. He has forgotten his password already for enrolling etc so has to contact them tomorrow for a reset 🤷
hope it goes well on Friday. We have a 3 hour drive there all going well.

@ScarlettDarling DD will be reading Literae humaniores ( aka Classics) so I guess they won’t bump into each other in tutorials or lectures in an ‘academic’ sense.
That said, if their paths cross socially I’m sure they’ll tune into each other’s accents! 😊
I’m driving her down for start of term but can’t do pick up at the end.
I’m looking at ways to get her stuff sent back ‘oop North’ before she needs to vacate her college room, leaving her with just a suitcase to lug up on the east coat line
if your DS is making the same journey back home I’m sure that’s one way they’ll become mates!

@Decorhate DS is going to Leicester, moving on Saturday

@ProggyMat Some but not all colleges have store-rooms where things can be, well, stored over vacations. Having to clear out every term was a real pain without access to a car!

@Decorhate are you taking about the trouble there on Saturday? BBC news are reporting it as fighting between groups from the Muslim and Hindu communities and there has been a spate of violence in “east Leicester”
it is worrying but as I gave away earlier, we live near Kingston, DS goes out there and there is often trouble there too. @SallCymru ’s thread today also hits home how we can no longer protect them, only arm them with safety measures and sensibility

@deuxgarcons DS has also found lots of flat mates. Swansea’s been easier to navigate than Birmingham for that. Or maybe he’s just been luckier than DD with that?

He has a school friend who’s going to be staying in Bay. Much nicer accommodation. It must be amazing to be a student with a sea view - hope your DS is in luck! DS wanted to roll out of bed & into lectures.

We know Swansea quite well. Love it. We regularly visit Gower. That’s why DS chose it. He wanted a beach life. Both DTs surf. DD is going to miss the sea up in Brum!

@Fiddlersgreen and @Decorhate I heard that there was cricket beef between India and Pakistan at the weekend, but you would not have known that at the university open day, also on Saturday. It all felt very safe around the university.

@PhotoDad Im keeping my fingers crossed for some storage.
That said, travelling back to the NE is nowt like a journey back to Jersey!

@Benjispruce4 so sorry to hear about your DD’s disappointing start after already feeling negative about the place. Lots of people don’t hit it off with flatmates though - or they do initially and then fall out spectacularly later on! In some ways, it’s better not to be living with your friends in case things go wrong.

@heifer sorry to hear dd is being mean 😢 she’s probably just stressed but that doesn’t really help does it. I took dd to the Christian Union ‘freshaway’ earlier and she was quite snappy in the car. After she’d finally finished her make up I insisted she did all the outstanding admin - email set up, registration, health centre, insurance. Every little hiccup was my fault!

It is my fault that H+M will now not deliver before DS goes, even though I have been telling him to sort out new clothes for four weeks!

@Alsoplayspiccolo I used to teach children to ride in hersham. Early 1990's.

@Benjispruce4 sorry to hear about dd. ds1 didn't get on particularly well with his flatmates as mostly all girls, the 2 boys stayed in their rooms, gaming. They did all go to freshers together though, so slightly different to your dd's flatmates. But he soon made friends with 6 lads that he went on to house share with for the next 2 years.

Anyone else sleeping badly? I keep thinking of tings I should have told him, or thought about! (nothing serious, just stuff like axing him to think about how he will get back in if he goes for a run! Or making sure he visits the music department!). Then I was worrying because he went to the bar last night - with what sounds like very sensible young men - and what if he couldn't get back in/oversleeps/ experiences drunkenness and is upset? And I am annoyed about the meal plan fiasco so that's keeping me awake.

I am a ridiculous woman.

Thanks for all the replies re Leicester- it’s not that I think there will be trouble near the uni, more that his family may put pressure on him not to go if they see the news.

@Benjispruce4 so sorry to hear it’s not going well still with the flatmates. Cam she ask the sociable guy if she can go out and meet some of his mates? I had a talk with DS about making an effort to speak to the other people in his flat when he goes, however much he might want to hide away and might ge famous last words but I think he will try now he has thought about it from the other side.
@Piggywaspushed I think after DS1 your brain has gone into disaster management mode, hopefully it will switch off soon. Congratulations to DS1 for his degree.
@ScarlettDarling and @SallCymru welcome! So sorry to hear about your Ds @SallCymru , what a horrible thing to happen.

Yes she’s been to a party /club with friendly guy and his mates in another flat. Was hardcore but she mixed in. The girl has been more visible but always with her school friends, invited her to drinks in flat next door- was a drinking game and Coke going on. Bless her she’s doing what I said and accepting invitations but they’re not quite her style. She said last night she is enjoying the independence and isn’t so much homesick as lonely. Hopefully today she will find some likeminded people on her course intro.

Thanks @Benjispruce4 @ealingwestmum @Monkey2001 @Alsoplayspiccolo @Zebracat .

I know your right, I have to get her there and she will embrace it after a short period. She is in contact with all her flatmates on Snapchat but that is making her more anxious (lots of messages left unread and too many people for the flat ...22 when there is supposed to be 18 which we need to investigate). Her BF doesn't help. He us a labourer and not really into education. He doesn't understand why she can't just go local. I know she will have a lovely time there. She just needs to get there.
Dreading Car Tetris tomorrow.

Oh Piggy hopefully it will settle over the next week.

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee be wary of saying she will have a wonderful time. If they don’t they feel as though it’s them that’s doing it wrong. Good luck!

Thanks @Benjispruce4 oh cripes this is an absolute minefield isnt it.

We watch films on TV where they drop the off and everything is fine (mainly in the states) and I think how unrealistic it all is.
At least there is no dorm room sharing like in America.

@Piggywaspushed i slept through last night for the first time in days. Think it has more to do with 🍷 than a restful mind though!

I’m glad she has been able to meet some more people @Benjispruce4 . DS knows it might be shit at the start but that he can get through it which is the silver lining to when he struggled hugely with boarding at the start. I think you are right about not over hyping it at the start and some expectation management sensible, it’s about striking a balance.

Not long now @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee , I think the last bit of waiting is the worst bit.

@Piggywaspushed after dropping DS last Sunday, you might remember I was pretty traumatised. I was definitely on high alert for a few days, then calmed down a little, then picked up again on Saturday. Feeling calmer for longer periods now.

@Benjispruce4 sounds like steps in the right direction.

@CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee wishing you good luck with DD, I think these SM groups beforehand are a double-edged sword, so easy to say the wrong thing especially at their age and with strangers, then anyone who hasn’t been in them might be excluded. I’d be worried about upsetting someone I then had to live with. Hope she settles to the idea of going soon. My BF at 18 didn’t go to uni (got a job in a bank instead), we didn’t last a term, our lives just went in different directions. It’s such a lot to deal with for them.

DD talked to both her brothers yesterday and she watched them go off to uni and has witness the odd drama of uni life across the last 5-6 years. The pep talks were great 😂🤣

From another MN thread on the Leicester situation it looks as if it's tightly contained in one residential area that you wouldn't have any reason to go to unless you lived there. So presumably no trouble at all in uni and city centre areas. Local posters said they only knew about it from the news.