Thread 40 - Corona Cohort , Falling into Autumn 🍂

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

@EspeciallyDivided DD applied for BioChem, but only as a 5th after the 4 Medicines. My godson, on the other hand, applied for it ‘properly’ and is about to start at Oxford. I listened to them both a LOT as they planned their PSs, so might be able to help!

@OublietteBravo chemistry for me too

@Benjispruce4 my NTU spies say she should get in touch with the Cocktail Soc AND the Gin Soc, as they will be having socials this week. I also hear good things about the student radio (Fly?) Soc, which won loads of awards last year. Apparently the fashion socs are also good if that’s her sort of thing.

Poor Heifer. It's hard when they say nasty things.

Or this for tomorrow? Free AND Pizza!

Ah thanks @KingscoteStaff i will pass that on. She does love a cocktail and gin! 😄

I’ve hardly heard anything from DD since we dropped her off on Saturday. Although she sent a message to the family WhatsApp group earlier today saying she’d been out every night so far, and it’s amazing. I’m assuming she’s fine and trying to dial back my instinct to call and check up on her!

I’ve told her to put all her energy into people on her course and societies and leave the flatmates to be neighbours.

@Alsoplayspiccolo @icanbewhatiwant @Oblomov22 @Fiddlersgreen - so funny to hear the Hersham/Sandown chat: that's where we lived and the dc went to primary school - still live about 10 mins from Hersham (won't give it away totally, although you can probably figure it out!)

@Benjispruce4 so frustrating about your dd's housemates - but it is just about one flat! My dh didn't get on brilliantly with his flat mates and ended up having much more of a course gang who he then lived with in Y2/3 - likewise another good mate ended up in a flat with a group of Chinese girls who were lovely but all spoke mostly Chinese - again, it was her course mates who became her tribe. Hopefully she can find other routes to sociability soon, but sending solidarity in the meantime.

And welcome @SallCymru and @ScarlettDarling !

I'm frustrated by my two today: DS is suddenly becoming hugely independent and getting frustrated with interference of a 'are you going to eat here this evening' type - soooooo unreasonable of us;-) DD (just started A levels) having major course wobbles and being massively stroppy about sorting things out - understandably fearful and in denial, but annoying!

@OublietteBravo sounda like DD1 when at Durham. Just got photo’s every day of fun times.

Does anyone have a dc going to Leicester? Slightly concerned as one of my mentees from last year is due to start there. His parents were not too keen about him moving away from home for uni to start with…

DD is fortunate to be ‘an all rounder’ but followed her passion and went to ‘the dark side’ which is often described as being an ‘easy route’ into an Oxbridge degree!
Kudos to you and fingers crossed more from the NE gain places!

@Decorhate i think @Fiddlersgreen has a DS starting this month.

@Benjispruce4 i feel for you, my DS is struggling too. His flat is mostly girls, the guy who turned up is very quiet and won’t come out of his room. Luckily more stuff is on tomorrow and he’s joined the gym, so has done something. I hope your DD meets like minded people, I’m sure ours will be fine, it’s sad that the start isn’t what we expected for them.

@SallCymru welcome and so sorry about your DS’s experience. I have been there with elder DS being beaten up and it is awful as a parent. Sympathies.

@Heifer and @Alsoplayspiccolo , sorry to hear that your DDs have been horrible to you. They just don’t realise how much their words sting and you don’t get over it quite as quickly as they do. I can still remember DS1 about aged 15 after a big row with me told his friend that I had never been there for him, it had always been his dad. Despite knowing it wasn’t true, I was heartbroken and so upset, it is years ago but I can still remember very clearly.

it’s both good and worrying hearing all your stories about moving in and flatmates etc. DS doesn’t go until Saturday and i am hoping he will be ok. His gf is going to the same uni but a 10 min walk away in halls so hopefully they will make their own friends but have each other as backup. Who knows until they get there though…

Ah @sazzy5 . WhenDD1 was at Durham ( my k my uni reference point) she had to complain a questionnaire on personality and social tendencies etc. Nothing at NTU .

Ugh! Sausage fingers meet predictive text.
*(my only uni reference point)
*complete

@Decorhate I live there. It’s really fine.

On the Oxford front, I'm from as far south as you get within the British Isles... Jersey! So just getting to the Mainland was a logistical challenge for me, too, and perhaps harder than travel from the North-East. My folks didn't go to uni and provided very little help with the process, although they did help me move in. I was at Balliol doing a joint degree, Physics & Philosophy, which was... interesting.

I hope that next week brings fresh starts for those who are struggling; Freshers' week for some, and first week of classes for others!

@ProggyMat What is your dd studying? Wonder if our dc will cross paths at all.

I’m finding this thread so helpful to know, from all the updates of your DCs that there is a wide range of emotions and experiences going on.

I phoned DD as it was easier than texting and having had quite a sociable time the last few days she’s seen no one today. She said she met a few people at the freshers event last night but didn’t swap any contact details so not sure how to contact them. Thankfully her course starts tomorrow morning so she’ll see people again. She seems in a muddle with the various IT systems and things she’s supposed to have done but hopefully will figure some of it out soon.

It's been so helpful to read about all those DC who have already gone and how they are settling in. I hope those who have found it a bit tougher all find their way and am sure they will. My DS's friends have all been leaving over the last week or so giving him an excuse to be in the pub most nights for yet another leaving/send off drink! We take DS to Swansea on Friday and he is excited but also a bit nervous. @boxcar I think you're off to Swansea too?

@Fiddlersgreen I grew up in Kingston. I must go back one day.

@Benjispruce4 I'm so sorry. It's really tough for all of us but knowing your child is unhappy makes it ten times worse. DD never had to complete any questionnaire She's delighted with her flat, but I do feel for ones who are in the same one and less inclined to party.
Can your dd request to move to different accommodation?

I think she’s going to see what happens on course induction and societies and forget flatmates as friend potential. Accommodation is fully booked apparently so she can only join a waiting list for those that drop out .