Thread 40 - Corona Cohort , Falling into Autumn 🍂

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

@EwwSprouts Thank you. I hope so too. Once he gets started on his course I’m sure he’ll make some good friends.

Heifer, DD and I had a blazing tow along the same lines, on the drive back to halls from taking her food shopping, which resulted in us leaving her at uni without a proper goodbye, and me sobbing all the way home yesterday.
She hasn’t contacted us since, so I woke up feeling broken hearted this morning.
They have no idea of the power of their words, do they?

icanbewhatiwant, I can’t believe you used to work in Hersham! I grew up 2 minutes walk from Hersham station and lived there until I moved in with DH; my mum only sold the family home a few years ago and I went back last week for the first time in nearly 7 years.
Oblomov, my dad and I spent many happy Saturdays at Sandown watching the races when I was young; we even saw the queen in a few occasions, in the owners’ enclosure.

Catching up on all your settling in stories with one eye on the funeral coverage. Can't decide whether I wish I was settling dd1 into uni accommodation or I'm glad she's still here...bit of both, I think.

Hello new thread members and happy Freshers Week to all your freshers.

Cinnamonorange, I really wish your DD could fast forward a few weeks and see how happy she could be in Cardiff. Driving through last night on the way home from Birmingham, it really struck me what a lovely, compact, vibrant city it is for students, with everything walkable.
I can totally relate to your feeling of being at the end of your tether - you just want to tell them to have a word with themselves and get on with it, don’t you?
I hope the lead up to going is the worst bit, and she feels happier once she’s actually moving in.

@Fruitygal He's doing biochemistry. Wish he was going to Durham like your daughter... it’s a lot closer to home! When does your daughter start?

DD is feeling lonely today. Has been hanging around the kitchen but nobody comes in. Awful to hear. I hope tomorrow is better.

It really is like being on a rollercoaster! Had DD on the phone in tears earlier as she had lost her wallet with bank card and ID in it - thought probably whilst out exploring the campus with some flatmates. Told her to report it to security and send a message to her flat to keep an eye out. 10 minutes later she messaged to say it had been found. She had remembered a chat group for her accommodation and posted there. Bizarrely someone had found it on the other side of the campus, picked it up and was going to hand it in but hadn't yet got round to it. They turned out to be in the flat above hers!! Given her a stern chat about choosing sensible pockets etc to put it in in future - some of you may remember she lost her wallet about a month ago and we had to replace everything then 🙄

Lovely that she had flatmates to go out with though.

Sorry to hear that @Heifer. I am sure she’s just stressed and really did appreciate all the help xx

@ScarlettDarling welcome!
My DD is also going to the same university from ‘oop North’ and wouldn’t entertain applying to Durham even though it’s my alma mater as she wanted a ‘going away for university’ experience

@SallCymru what an absolute nightmare ! 💐

@ProggyMat Hi! Nice to hear of another northerner venturing there. My son really had planned on staying closer to home but school encouraged him to apply to Oxford and when he got the offer, then the grades, he felt he’d regret it if he didn’t take the place. I’m worried that he’s a bit half hearted about it.

DD went into kitchen to make tea and wash up some plates. She put the tv on and sat for a while. As soon as she was back in her room the other girl went in. She has someone in her room again. The other flatmates has his gf over and the friendly boy has gone out to a more sociable flat. I can’t see this lasting. If your DC have a social flat, you are soo lucky.

@Benjispruce4 Oh, how frustrating! Don't suppose that your DD could try to co-ordinate all cooking a meal together, or something? Tricky if she never sees them.

@ProggyMat and @ScarlettDarling, I now live Oop North. My DD is arty rather than academic and Oxbridge wasn't even on her radar (she jokes that she has all the advantages of living in Cambridge without the stress). But I know Oxford, city and uni, pretty well if you have any questions that I might be able to help with.

@handmademitlove

Link still doesn’t work for us.
DS emailed them yesterday using their “contact us” button but obviously don’t expect a response until at least tomorrow.

@Alsoplayspiccolo @icanbewhatiwant @Oblomov22 i work in Kingston and don’t live too far from there now! know Esher and Hersham both very well

So, DS1 has passed his degree but now he doesn't know what to do to enrol for his MA. Honestly, he just sits on his fat arse not panning or thinking in advance about anything!

And Meal Plan at Birmingham is a shambles and very much not as advertised. You can't get breakfast OR lunch in The Vale any more!!

@Piggywaspushed Well, congratulations on the pass! That Meal Plan sounds very annoying if it wasn't as advertised. Any point trying to get a (partial) refund, do you think?

Oh @Piggywaspushed gow disappointing. But we’ll done to your DS1.
The one other girls has a free in her room, the boys has his gf over. I didn’t even consider that flatmates wouldn’t be wanting to make friends. Flabbergasted. So gutted for DD. Her friends at other universities are having flat roast dinners today and hers won’t even make tea if someone is in the kitchen.

@ScarlettDarling Biochemistry did it for two years as part of another degree super tricky - my DD doing biological science at Durham they move in next weekend. We know 2 going to Oxford and 16+ going to Cambridge. DD didn’t fancy the style of Oxford as likes cooking and wanted a more modern style of uni in terms of teaching. Liked the idea of colleges and gowns and a bit of a tradition. Durham kind of fits … she’s lucky to get a place but hard being so far away.

I know lots of them are shy and terrified but it's so strange dodging new flatmates, are they going to try that all year? I hope things pick up for your DD soon benji, she has really had a rough time of it and deserves a break.

I may want to pick biochemistry and the like brains at some point for DD (y12). She thinks she wants to study some sort of biological science degree but not sure what and there are a lot of options. I really need to pick brains at work too, we have quite a few biologists. I need a break before heading into another round of uni choices though.

Benji - I so feel for you and DD. As I said earlier my experience with flatmates wasn’t great, but I did manage to make friends with one and then in other ways pretty quickly and then it didn’t matter any more, largely the flat was just somewhere to eat and sleep, I have everything crossed for your DD that things improve.

Thank you so much. It’s very hard. DD is on the shy side but she realising how sociable she actually is. She only wants a cuppa and a chat. She says they have their group/ gf so don’t need to bond with her. I feel bad because I’d sold her this idea that at uni everyone is desperate to make friends and they are not at NTU!

@ScarlettDarling DD was the opposite wanted to have a punt and it was a big punt given the college she eventually applied to ! That said, shes had a few wobbles about ‘fitting in’ since then!
Perhaps they’ll share lugging their cases back home after the first term via the east coast mainline?

@PhotoDad - I’d noticed you must be from my ‘neck of the woods’ given your nod to the best charity shops!
Do you feel comfortable sharing what college you went to and how you found t’others?

@Benjispruce4 That’s so hard for her - and for you. When is the Freshers Fair? Can you offer to pay her subs for 5 or 6 societies (just to make sure she definitely joins lots)?

Absolutely @KingscoteStaff she is so enthusiastic and wanting to get going. Very disappointed withNTU welcome .There wasn’t one!

@ProggyMat - I’m originally from oop North, and went to St Catherine’s, Oxford (or Catz as it’s mostly known) back in the day. Doing chemistry.