Thread 39 - Covid Cohort - Our Adult Children Now Post 18

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

There's a link to it in a post at 0943 @familyissues12345

@Shimy I didn't realise it was you on the backpack thread. I read it at the time as ds1 is the same age. You gave great replies, I think I'd have not returned to the thread and name changed 🤣 did ds survive with a backpack you'd chosen? If I left all the buying to my ds's they'd have just taken a few clothes. But most of us parents are paying for everything anyway...so may as well help choose it. It would be very different if said 18 year old was in a full time job and had moved out.

I gave Ds a strong cardboard box a few days ago and suggested he fill it with stuff he wants to take from his room, like pens, paper, photos, desk things etc. I said make a list of anything you need. The box will still be empty next weekend with only a few days left.

@icanbewhatiwant 😂😂yes it was me.

The backpack is being well and thoroughly used, he loves it and has recommended it to ds2 so much that ds2 has just received his last week (Amazon) such a big fuss over absolutely nothing.

I've just scrolled back up on this thread and seen lots of lovely comments from you guys about the backpack thread. I'm guessing someone mentioned it and you all had a re-read . Thanks so much for your lovely comments. I was horrified and confused at the time why such (what I thought was) a harmless question had led to such vitriol. People are weird.

@ealingwestmum "I don't just give my dc fish, I teach them to fish"

Wowzers @Shimy that was an entertaining read no wonder you don't mention backpacks!!! Some people are unbelievable!
I'm glad there's none of those on here. I love this thread.

@heifer the move has been a nightmare! Dh sprained his wrist so we had to wait for family to help after work and everything went downhill from there! I think I had about 4 hours sleep between Thursday morning and last night. Our storage unit was too small so we had to dump another huge load of stuff in my mother in law‘s unused lounge. Loads of different people did the trips and we can’t find anything! And MIL made such a fuss that I’ve had to agree to pay her £100 a month to store our stuff til Nov 😬 We’re now staying with friends in new town and I had to dash to a retail park today to get ds a suit for sixth form - £300! Dh is very cross with me…

Today I mentioned the various uni tasks to dd and she said she didn’t need my help, she will work it out? I said if she couldn’t I’d ask on here! She’s staying with a friend this week. Our DD’s are definitely twins @heifer as mine has also met a boy, who she’s seeing again tomorrow…

My dd would never ask my advice about backpacks… but when working at the NEC she rang me repeatedly because she couldn’t find her way out and kept coming back to the same hall… so definitely not a fully fledged adult yet!

I'm taking DS to buy a backpack amongst other things on Tuesday anyone got any recimmendations?

DD starts college tomorrow, we are both nervous. This is the first time I've had them both change setting in the same year and it's all happening in the same week (DS goes next weekend).

Hope DD’s first day goes well @EspeciallyDivided ! Ds doesn’t start till Wed.

Thank you, we are both a bit nervous. No one else she knows is going there.

Massive thunderstorm right overhead now

Good luck to DD @EquallyDivided 🍀
@crazycrofter really sorry to hear the move was rough. Ours wasn’t easy as we had just had covid and was so hot but a few weeks on I am so pleased we have done it. Still not exchanged on old house and went down to sort remaining stuff at the weekend - we have so much it is ridiculous. Hope you can find everything you need, we could really do with the drill turning up soon!

Waiting to hear about DS’s accommodation so feel a bit in limbo and need to address his birthday is nearly here.

@crazycrofter goodness that sounds super super stressful! When do you get into your new home ?

Don’t you love MILs - my friend has a mum like that which I think may be worse. My MIL was judgmental when kids were little about my parenting and the tidiness of my home. White glove visits were common! 😂

Your DD sounds great and one less thing to worry about.

Haven't got to backpacks yet ….. we have new costs with Durham I didn’t have with the DSs unis so on top of freshers tickets we have the JCR levy £135 plus gown £50 plus outfit for matriculation (business outfit ~ thinking navy or black dress you’d wear for smart work meeting plus suitable shoes) …. DD said clearly other kids on the socials were unaware of these additional bits and pieces and she’s worried about families that are struggling as needed prior to arrival plus £200 accommodation deposit.

She was fab and said she was going to suggest something like a second hand uniform shop for the old gown etc when she gets there because that would make things easier for people who are on a strict budget in future years.

Mentioned condoms to DD severe eye roll then big brothers piped up there’s loads of those in the freshers free stuff and goody bags - DH went really pale ?!!😂😂😂

Good luck to Dd @EquallyDivided and any others starting in new environments or otherwise for Y12!

Thank you @CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee , DD is very shy but hoping to make some friends at college. I woke up with a jolt having dreamed that DS wasn’t coping at uni .

Sorry to hear that the move was so stressful @crazycrofter

We are in limbo here, we haven’t heard back that DS’s registration has been approved or received a timetable, I really want him to get the DSA training and mentoring booked in. I am taking the day off work for last bits of shopping tomorrow and think we will fire up the DSA laptop then and start checking out the softwares a bit. I’d also like the uni login so he can sign up for student discounts and the uni office365 or whatever system. No time slot for moving in yet, I am wondering if it’s a free for all due to being a small uni with ample car parking.

ah @crazycrofter that does sound rough, also what a tight MIL, pay her in loose change! ;-) Can you hire another unit and move everything into or is that just too pricey?

Is there anyone off to uni this week? Assume no one went at the weekend did they? So many posts (which is great) it;s hard to keep up.

Teachers - good luck back at school this week. Also good luck to those starting new 6th forms/school etc. I really can't believe where the summer has gone.

@crazycrofter moving house sounds so stressful, especially with back to school and starting uni thrown in.

Back to school for the very last time for us today, only DH and I are still away. DS has promised to take the obligatory back to school photo and is in charge of the school run for the week. Asking him to make DD's packed lunch was a step too far though. I had a panicked call last night from DD who couldn't find her school lanyard and she'd looked everywhere. I managed to find it within 30 seconds without even being there 😂

Yes - good luck for all those back to school/college. I've had all the first day back photos popping up on my memory time lines - really weird that there will be no more. The obligatory picture of DD sitting on her new bed in a couple of weeks and then that's probably it. For the past 2 years I just have a picture of the rammed car boot for DS 😆

I am glad ds3 went back to school today, into year 9. But it means they all want a shower at a similar time. Ds3 is the last to leave by 40 mins but needs ages to get ready. So wanted to go in first. So I gave them times of 6.50am 7am and 7.10am. Ds2 leaves for work the earliest (though couldn't leave first this morn. as ds1 had deliberately blocked his car in 🙈) but wants to stay in bed the longest, so he gets the last shower slot. Only for a week, thank goodness, as ds2 finishes his summer job this week, then leaves for uni next week. It went smoothly with shower times this morn. I can't see that being so all week, the way my lot argue.

We were so lucky when we moved as dh sold the farm and bought this house, which needed central heating put in, the new farm owner didn't want to live in the farm house, so we rented it from him while we did the work on this one. So we moved all the garden stuff and dh filled the garage loft up with stuff from our old loft and farm things he wanted to keep etc. also moved the shed stuff into the new shed, bicycles etc. so it was great to do it all gradually. We did the main furniture move in a day, we moved about a mile away from the farm. So it was all quick and easy. I can't imagine trying to move everything all at once, even worse for a long distance.

Yes I have had first day school pics popping up the past few days. Ds2 is still small, but his first day at secondary pics are funny. He is tiny. The school jumper was huge. He was in about age7 or 8 trousers, so you can imagine what the age 11 jumper looked like 🤣

I've been considering a house move but crazycrofter's post has made me see sense. Nineteen years after the last time, the stress of it has vanished from my memory but that post gave me secondhand anxiety. Hope it all settles down soon.

I might not have a dd going to university this year, but dd2 starts year 13 tomorrow, so we have the whole merry-go-round again. This thread is going to be absolutely invaluable, I think, even if I am a year behind you all.

@ZittiEBuoni that was the problem with us, been there 20 years and have so much stuff! Waiting for a guy to quote for moving some stuff up and then clearance on the rest. We’ll have to pay whatever he asks at this point as just need it to be done. We started this in February and all being well will complete end of the month - I’m not holding my breath.

Hoping that moving DS will be very easy in comparison!

Thinking of everyone with dc heading off to new schools and colleges today, especially in the middle of challenging house moves!

I haven't posted much this summer and now we are 'parents of adult children'! My dd moves into halls on Saturday and I am starting to feel nervous now. It's suddenly becoming real and I feel as though we still have a lot to do. I'm sure it will all come together but I am paranoid that we have forgotten something. She is currently in her pre-test driving lesson so has been tense this weekend - would be so nice for her to pass and have that ticked off before moving away!

Good luck to dd with the driving test @kiwiandcherries .

@Volterra glad its not just us with too much stuff! I’m fielding texts from dd who’s left her wash bag in our car and desperately needs it! Meanwhile dh decided last week was a good time to build a new computer and get rid of the old one, but now he can’t find the hard drive with everything from the old computer on it 😬

Last week was pretty horrendous and dh decided to fix the taps in the downstairs toilet on Friday night (we were supposed to be handing over the keys midday Sat). He forgot to drain the hot water tank though, so we had a bit of a flood and lots of panicking! He never pays anyone to do anything and he always manages in the end but the process of getting there is stressful…

@heifer please could you give me a reminder of how dd pays the accommodation deposit? She says no one on her Nottingham group chat has done it yet because they’re all clueless!

@crazycrofter if you're not in Broadgate it is pretty easy <well you know compared ot all the other UoN admin>. You log in to the hub using your ancient UCAS application code last seen in a 2021 email and then you get a login and a bizarre random email address, then you can go to the finance section and pay your £250.

On logging into the Nottingham Hub I can see that online registration is now open as well?!