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Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

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Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Parents of adult children

How much contact do you have with your dc at university ?

30 replies

3teens2cats · 03/09/2018 06:13

Eldest ds, 18 is off to university at the other end of the country. He is really excited and I think I have done a reasonable job of hiding my own anxieties from him but I am going to miss him so much. Due to the distance it is unlikely that we will see him until Christmas, although a weekend home is not impossible.
I know we need to let go but how often do you think it is reasonable to contact him? My heart wants to text him everyday just to know he's alright and call atleast once a week. Is that overbearing or OK when they are living away for the first time?

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HildegardCrowe · 02/10/2018 11:20

TryIt that's a good idea, how do you check he's been online? I'm on WhatsApp but have no other way of checking her activity. I don't want to turn into a stalker though! Glad your DS has found his feet. Errol that's a useful suggestion too and not intruding on them too much.

Apollo I hear what you're saying about no news is good news and only wish I could be as chill as you....

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HildegardCrowe · 02/10/2018 11:23

Irma I agree, I'd be worried if DD felt the need to come home before Christmas and every weekend is unhealthy - what a shame for your DD.
Am going to visit her at the end of the month and will keep it at that.

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UrsulaPandress · 02/10/2018 11:28

We FaceTime at least once a day. I send her photos of the dog and the horse and other stuff she might like. We are going to see her tomorrow for her birthday. She is home for a wedding at the weekend and then planning another couple of nights at home between now and Christmas but she is only an hour or so away.

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fieryginger · 02/10/2018 11:30

I think a daily text and a weekly chat is reasonable. Explain to him that, although his doing the right thing and you're proud of him, you just need to know he's ok.

My DS has fb messenger, it shows when he was last active online, I use this to see he's ok without contacting him and it works well. I think, "oh he was active online 45 minutes ago - he's ok". This has really stopped me badgering him.

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HildegardCrowe · 02/10/2018 11:49

Bit, yes it is tricky getting the balance right. I'm so glad to have found this thread too. DD has a nasty bout of cystitis and I'm desperate to hear how she got on at the GP! Fiery, weekly chat/daily text does seem reasonable but I think I need to learn some calming techniques for when she doesn't respond as quickly as I'd like (see below)
i.pinimg.com/originals/37/b8/bb/37b8bb6b928101bbb2864288c1d9e515.jpg