Hi,
I have a four month old son who is already learning how to get people to pick him up if he cries. This is beginning to be a problem and I have been trying to teach him that I will not just pick him up if he doesn't need something as soon as he makes a whimper.
Recently I have been leaving him for longer periods in his pushchair if he is not fussing and then waiting until I know he really needs something before I pick him up.
My mother-in-law owns the local hairdressers and I was in there for a wash and blowdry on Friday. I left my son in his chair at reception under the watch of some of the girls. I instructed all of them including my MIL that he was not to be picked up unless he was screaming his lungs out and upsetting customers.
By the time I had got to the basins and had my hair washed, my MIL had taken him out of his chair and was walking him around the salon.
She knew that this was not what I wanted because she kept saying to him 'Ooh Mummy's going to be angry with me now because I picked you up'.
When I asked her why, she said that he had started to cry and she didn't know what to do. He hadn't, I would have heard from where I was. I told her that she was weak. She then said 'Well if it's any consolation he gave me such a big smile when I picked him up'! I couldn't believe it! I said 'THAT IS THE PROBLEM! THIS IS WHY I'M TRYING TO LEAVE HIM FOR A BIT!' She just laughed it off and then walked away with him, leaving me surrounded by gobsmacked staff in my chair.
There have been other occasions where me and my husband have tried to tell her how we want our son raised and about things we would and would not tolerate and she has gone against it. We said that we never wanted him to co-sleep with ANYONE. She replied by saying it was 'what grandparents do' with their grandkids and that she should be able to. In the salon she told her customers that we were being unfair and that it is her 'right' as a grandparent to share a bed with her grandchild!
How on earth do I deal with this? She lives a few hundred yards away from us and expects to see us at least 1-3 times a week (my parents see him maybe once a fortnight if they're lucky). I don't want to ruin the relationship but at the same time I can't deal with her being like this. She's not trying to be difficult, I honestly think that she is just completely obsessed with her first grandchild but I'm worried it will have an impact on how we want to raise him.
Anyone been in this kind of situation before? If so, what the hell do you do???!!!