Book for new mum - I wish I'd been told that....

[MummyElk]

Similar to portofino's thread but i wanted to be more specific...

so my very good friend is about to have her baby - and in reintroducing myself to Early Parenthood with the birth of my DD2 I've realised there is a whole list of Things I Wish I'd Been Told...
like:

• lavender oil on maternity pads
• Recovery: Getting Up From Seats: straighten one leg first before pushing up from seat (doesn't seem to stretch stitches so much)
• start dream feeding early (like from the moment Baby fits into BabyDry nappies and therefore can more or less get through the night without changing....)
• Swaddle (and persevere with it)

I'm doing her a book of them.

Anything to add?
What did you do to ease colic?
Are fussy evenings just a TTSP thing?
Bfing tips?

help please!!!

watch out for pretty bad patch 4-6 months. Twas hideous at the time and I wasn't prepared.

take flipflops to hospital. showering in everyone else's post-birth grot not too lovely.

You don't always need all the things you are told you need.

Get a good baby sleeping bag - we had a merino wool one - could wash in morning & it would be dry for evening sleeps. Baby perfect temp at all times!

Get some good BF mentors - call on them if things get tough & do persever with it if you can. It is such a great thing to do if you can keep it up and it does get easier until it becomes 2nd nature. (for me it was uncomfortable on right for 2 weeks - then it is very comfy)

Don't stress, be kind to yourself even if that just means a nap on the sofa, or giving yourself permission to be 'lazy' for a few weeks. It's not being lazy - it's called having a young baby & recovering from birth.

The baby will sleep loads! But still you will feel like you have no time.

Remember maternity leave is for you & your baby - it's not just work you can take 'leave' from but all the 'must do' routines. You will have other priorities for a few weeks & that's OK.

If you get lots of visitors don't feel you have to rush around after them. All my visitors were happy to walk in & make the tea, hold the baby while I took a shower etc.

Put baby in car seat or baby bouncer on bathroom floor while you shower - they like to watch you!

Get some of those nightgowns for baby with elastic at the bottom - great for at night in particular as no legs/poppers to fiddle with during nappy changes. They are really comfy too.

Go for unscented baby products. Why anyone would want to mess with the smell of a gorgeous baby is beyond me.

Try and go for a walk each day but take your time getting to this point - there is no need to rush anything.

remember above everything that BABIES ARE RANDOM !

that it is apparently "normal" for a baby to vomit bright red blood-looking stuff an hour after you get them home from hospital ... we thought it was all over ... rang hospital in panic and they said "oh, she's just clearing out her insides"

it was only five mins of pure terror - but five mins I wouldn't wish on anyone!

Everybody needs to know that babies should not have ANY fevers in the first three months, and if it happens always get them checked out

Otherwise just go with the flow

remembered 2 more......

pre birth.....once labour kicks in, COUNT TO 60

I thought my friend a bit mad when she told me that 1, but it was brilliant,....... no contraction lasts longer than a minute, & counting really does take your mind off the pain & you know you don't have long to go before it stops.

& Wish someone had told me this......post birth,.... take an iron supplement to hospital, I'd recommend Spirulina, packed with the stuff & other good nutriments & safe.
If you're unlucky like I was & end up been kept in for over a week due to very low blood pressure, on asking you'll be told its due to blood loss & your body needs iron.......don't expect to get enough from the over cooked & often unhealthy mush they give you in Hospital....... once I knew the reason, despite been pretty ill, I discharged myself as I knew I could eat far better at home.....took 2 days to be okay again at home........ with hind sight, a supplement would of got me out a lot sooner

goldensnitch lilypadz need washing in hot water regularly and leaving to air dry then will stick again. Best things ever but do take bit of practice

I did wash them in hot water. Every night while DD was in the bath - and then left them to air dry while I bathed her.

Still lost their stick. Both pairs.

That loads of babies get especially shouty in the evenings, even if they don't have proper "colic" - and that a great cure is to take them out in the pushchair. Also if you can go with your partner/DH this is a great excuse to walk to a coffee shop, have a coffee and cake (extra calories for breastfeeding!) and get some nice relaxed couple-time with them while baby sleeps or just chills!
ALWAYS put a muslin on your shoulder before putting a baby there...
Remember it is OK to put them down for a bit so you can shower etc, even if they fuss a bit - otherwise second and later children would never survive! (And that this is different from leaving them on their own for ages or when they are really upset).

best bit of advice, however, is that everyone's advice is different. for example, neither of mine could bear sleeping bags, absolutely hated them, so that was a waste of money. they loved swaddling, though, and some kids hate that.

likewise the red blood stuff... not only did neither of mine do that (they threw up mucus though) but i would still strongly advise calling a doc if your baby throws up blood, even if you do think it's normal.

so basically, the book is a lovely idea but the first piece of advice is 'follow YOUR instincts first and foremost and only open the book when you really don't know what to do next...'

Don't buy disposable knickers, especially if you end up having a csection. They must have been invented by a man or someone who has never been through childbirth/pregnancy. Buy lots of big old granny pants instead.

Invaluable piece of advice no one told me, but I discovered (and apologies if I'm repeating something already said - am at work, so can't read too much!) - Babies can only stay awake for 1.5-2 hours at a time before getting overtired and unable to sleep. Discovering this was like a curtain falling away - saw the light!

Plus - it does get better - everything is a phase...

Must have been dud ones goldensnitch. Mine saw me through 3 children and were still going strong

I got my Lilypadz from Blooming Marvellous. 2 separate orders a few months apart! Still got 1 pair left (I got 2 pairs in the second order after only wearing the first pair for a day or two and loving them) but I wasn't going to bother with them cause I've found them to be so rubbish.

According to the box they're only meant to last for 6 weeks or so....

I guess they don't work for everyone.

Lovely idea Elk

The only things I can think of right now:

I put a muslin under DDs head in the Moses basket (folded in half, and sides tucked under the mattress); saves changing the sheet every time she's sick on it.

Also, I found with envelope neck sleepsuits that she would get her feet all bunched up in the crotch and pull the whole thing down so she was naked from the chest up! So I only buy ones with poppers up the front now. And lots of them, cheap ones! They get pooed on and sicked on and she's outgrown them so fast.

Get a lavender scented wheatbag and microwave it frequently. Really helps with pains - afterpains if you have them, breast pain, back pain from putting them in and out of baskets / cots etc.

If you don't have any bump bands from being pregnant you might want one for bf - can then wear any top you like and still have something covering your midriff, and keeping it warm in the winter.

Lots of great advice here, MY gem would be..

steal the rubbishy looking Sunlight blanket they provide in the cots in the past-natal ward!! (naughty I know)

I accidentally took mine home after my first baby and I can honestly say it is the best blanket for swaddling - keeping baby snug but with a bit of stretch so they can shift a little without working their arms out. Cellular blankets don't have enough give in them. 'Miracle' swaddling blankets are a load of toss.

Although I can also recommend this for girls and this for boys from the White Company, lovely soft jersey blankets, only £12 and do almost as good a job as the old NHS ones

deep at stealing from the nhs tbh.

I would just add that if you don't get the 'overwhelming rush of love' when baby arrives, don't panic. Not everyone does and that's all normal. It will come though, might just take a while for you to get to know each other first. Or it might happen straightaway, all normal.

ALong the lines of the 'throwing up blood' - newborn girls MAY have a 'period'. DD did and I too had a very scared five minutes while I phoned the maternity ward.

I also agree - what you swear by someone else's baby will have hated. Borrow stuff if you can and follow your baby.

Suspect i may be the only woman on earth who didn't know this but ....you don't neccessarily see your milk when it comes in. If the baby is not screaming with hunger after sucking then YOUR MILK IS THERE. I worked myself up into a dreadful teary, hormonal state about no milk. If only I'd known all was well.

Oh yes, and if you are crying again and your DH/DP asks what's wrong, just tell him you're tired. He is never going to understand that it's hormones - I hardly did, so he definitely won't!

Oh, also wish I'd known earlier that the ladies at NCT hire out "Valley Cushions" to sit on if you're sore after birth.

They have a groove down the centre and a pump to inflate either side accordingly for comfort. Sitting on a rubber ring as I did at first, is really bad for you and adds extra strain on your bits. Mine gave me such relief.

Barrel of Monkeys - you beat me to it! I was so worried I was a monster for not feeling this all-engulfing luurve at once. It came.

And your mum's way may have been "right" for her, but don't worry if it's not right for you. There are several "right" ways of doing things.

Would echo dummy/bottle thing.

And don't be bulldozed into having visitors too soon, even if it's your nth child. It will end in tears (especially if said visitor is your MIL).