I read your thread title and thought "no, it wasn't that bad" but then looked at your list and, yes, most of them were true for us. But it still didn't seem like hell on earth at the time, although it was tough.
DH and my relationship wasn't as bad as some of those suggest, though. But before DC we pretty much never argued at all, and that definitely did change although nothing too traumatic. I would say that there is a very big need to keep lines of communication open and keep talking to each other. For example when DS was small DH would phone me at some point every afternoon so that he would know how my day was going and whether he'd be greeted by smiling and radient wife and baby or by a bedraggled harpie at the end of her tether. And as I was pretty much stuck at home with the baby I would get riled when he told me that he was going for a drink after work or to some other event -- that was easily solved by his asking rather than telling as it wasn't his going that irked me but his assuming.
Babies are all different, though. If you get an easy one who sleeps a lot and is at ease in most situations then it won't be nearly as bad as you imagine.
"Your baby will demand feeding every few hours. Your boobs will be red raw."
I dreamt of a baby who only fed every few hours in the first weeks. Both of mine went through phases where they just seemed to be feeding constantly. But I never had any issues with my nipples at all (other than the toe-curling first few seconds of latch thing for the first couple of weeks). The tube of Lasinoh I had bought in preparation for DS's arrival is still sitting there unopened and he's at school and has a little sister now.
"You might not be able to breast feed and thus feel like a failure of a woman".
You might not. Given proper support about 98% of women can breastfeed, but there are always some in that 2% and support is woefully lacking in the UK. Get the number of some good BFCs and helplines now, find out about local La Leche League meetings and breastfeeding drop-in sessions, and ask for help early if you think you need it (and ask on the breastfeeding boards here, which are a FANTASTIC resource). Then if it doesn't work out you will know you really gave it your best shot.
"You will be knackered and hardly have the time/enegery to even wash".
I often didn't manage to shower and get out of my pyjamaas until lunchtime with DS, but I generally did manage it at some point in the day. And with DD, who was a much easier baby, I generally managed a morning shower.
"New born babies are boring. You don't get any feedback from them."
Yes and no. DS was a force of personality from the start. DH thought that DD was rather dull until she got to 6 months or so, but I enjoyed seeing her personality develop. You do get feedback but it's often quite subtle.
"Your house will be a tip. There will be no time or energy to tidy."
Yes.
"A million people will want to visit - and remember your house is a tip".
This is the one time in your life when everyone will expect your house to be a tip. If there aren't actually feral rats climbing over your furniture they'll be impressed.
"Also you look like a tip. No time to do hair and makeup."
I didn't take much time over this beforehand. Ultimately no one will be looking at you any more, though
"Sex drive takes a nose-dive. Almost becoming non-existent".
Yup, for a while, for most women (there were some women on my due date group who were positively rampant within a couple of weeks, but they were definitely in the minority). But it comes back.
"You'll bleed for 6 weeks and it will hurt to pee."
Yes, I think anything from 3-8 weeks is normal. If you are grazed or have a tear then it will hurt to pee for a few weeks, but there are techniques to help with that. And if this is a first baby at least you'll be less likely to have afterpains as well.
"Postnatal depression - you become isolated and constantly weepy."
Chances are you wn't have PND. Baby blues are quite normal but only last a week or two. It is easy to become isolated so it's worth making an effort to get out of the house to meet people (or just to have a coffee by yourself) even if you don't feel like it. If you DO get PND (and clue your DH in to watch out for the signs then ask for help as it can be treated very successfully.
"Finish the nursery now because you will not have the time or eneregy to finish it once baby is here".
Well, yes. Even the most idealistic new parent must realise that, surely?
"You will lose any childless friends because you will not have time for them."
We certainly drifted away from some, but not all. And I don't think that the ones who became more distant were a huge loss, really.
"No time to go out or even watch a movie on the sofa."
Once you get to a point of being able to leave them for an evening, you can go out, but it takes planning and organisation. I think one of the things I miss most about pre-children is being able to spontaneously decide at short notice to go to the cinema or theatre or even out to the pub. Now any evenings out have to be planned ahead and babysitters found (and babysitters paid, which makes it very expensive). And you will become friends with your pause button if watching movies on the sofa. On the plus side, now many cinemas do weekly mother-and-baby screenings of current films. I saw more movies in the cinema in DD's first 12 months than I'd done in the previous three years, I think.
"3 hours sleep per night."
Depends on the baby. For me once I started cosleeping (at around 3.5 months with DS, from birth with DD) I got plenty of sleep. But the first few weeks with DS were rough.
"Forget the things you love to do now - your love of books, video games, the gym, and the other things you do to unwind. There will be no time for leisure."
I'd probably agree on video games and gym. Once I got the hang of breastfeeding, though, I managed to read a lot of books -- just that they all had to be not-too-huge paperbacks so that I could hold them up over the baby without risking injury to my wrists or the baby's head.