OK - so those of you who won't leave your children alone at home while you pop out, or locked in the car while you pay for petrol in case..

[seeker]

...you were in an accident and knocked unconscious or killed, would you really rather you child was in the accident too than safe at home or in the car?

and quite frankly i think it would be a lot more dangerous to drag a 5yr old, 2 yr old and 11month old across a petrol forecourt than to leave them in the car.
esp as the 2 yr old is a bit of a bolter. unless i got the pushchair out for them? but that's just getting silly.

The OP doesn't make any sense to me.

Riven I can understand you not wanting to leave your DD in the car alone, as your situation is different from others.

I don't ever leave them in the house alone, unless you count me going into the garden to get the washing in. Even then they usually follow me out.

I do leave them locked in the car if I'm at the cashpoint or paying for petrol, but I have 4!! It would be an utter nightmare to get them out and back in the car again, watching them whilst trying to remember my pin number, then I'd have to frisk ds2 (aged 3) for stolen goods because he's at that stage.

Having said all that I would take them with me if I couldn't see them in the car.

at some of these posts.

I don't think I've ever taken the children out of the car to pay for petrol. I have left DS1 (7) alone in the house while I've put the rubbish out and ... shock, horror, when he was a baby I used to wait until he'd fallen asleep, then peg the washing out. FYI we were in an apartment & I had to lock front door & go up onto the roof to do so. I always used to take his baby monitor though, if this makes me less of a monster

I get the OP now but think it is ridiculous.

One word (well, phrase) for the petrol scenario; Pay at the Pump

LOK - When they start dispensing chocolate and fags bottled water i'll agree

lol Clary and what then when they get home? leave the kids in the car while they run the shopping bags inside or take the kids inside and leave them alone when they go back for the bags?

I guess one could shop on the internet but when I take the bags from the door into the kitchen DS1 stands at the front door staring at the delivery guy - bet they don't CRB check shopping delivery drivers...

the only one round here that does pay at pump is tesco and I refuse point blank to give them any of my money

mostly i tend to let dp have the car on days when it needs filling up though, that gets round the dilemma perfectly!

Ah, good plan thisisyesterday, no worrying about the kids and he pays, win win

unloading shopping from car. put bags in hall just inside door - within sight of car. Put kids in house, shut door. Take bags to kitchen. Easy.

Pay at pump petrol.

Kids asleep in car - we sit in car on drive if we don't want to disturb

Asleep outside in buggy and can't take it in - sit outside with them.

Its not worth the risk. it is unlikely something awful would happen but I personally couldn't live with myself if it did. What if? I'd blame myself.

This is not exactly the scenario seeker is talking about, Liz. Her OP refers to the scenario commonly envisaged by posters who say "I could never leave my children alone at home. What if I were in a car crash and noone knew they were alone at home".

To which the logical objection would be that if you were in a car crash, surely you would want your children as far away from it as possible. In a car crash, mummy is not going to be able to protect you.

The same applies to the common petrol forecourt scenario: being knocked down by a car (even in the presence of a parent) is a far bigger risk than the car bursting into flames (a possible, but far rarer occurrence).

The kind of scenario she was getting at (if I understood her OP correctly) was one where parents choose what is actually a bigger risk to the children for the illusory security of being with them. If I had to travel somewhere and the roads were icy, I would far rather leave my (school age) children behind. Because I do not believe I have magical powers that can right a skidding car. On the other hand, I do believe I have managed to raise fairly sensible and independent children. But only because I have let them practise independence.

yy Cory.

I once hid from my dc to get a bit of peace and quiet (under the dining room table). After 10 minutes or so I heard them discussing how they thought I had popped over to the neighbours. They carried on playing (much more nicely than when I was 'there') and I had a cup of tea and read the newspaper. Unfortunately I had to do it under the table. But it was peaceful.

kitkatsforbreakfast

genius, kitkats, absolute genius!

We have a long tablecloth on the dining room table.

I wasn't hassled for half an hour or more. Unfortunately then I needed a wee, so had to emerge.

PS Have also just posted long and vitriolic post on the other neglecting children post.

cory - you are right - I am in both camps . I do worry if I am out and they are alone because of the car crash scenario, but only in the same way that when they were babies and DH was away on business that I might fall down the stairs and break my neck and no-one would know they were alone in the house etc...
Noe thet are older, am happy to leave them if I go out within walking distance, but if a car journey away prefer not to. But as to taking them into a petrol station when theye were babies/toddlers - madness!- can't believe people really do that.

ok I never leave my kids alone in the car, always take them out even to pay petrol, only because when i was a kid my mum left my brother and I in the car outside my aunties and some one ran into the back of it, neither of us were hurt and i am now obsessed, I do leave my kids in the house while I put out rubbish etc but would never go further than garden.

BouncingTurtle we have a similar issue re my car going in garage and dh's car on drive. (only room for 1 car on drive and garage too cramped for me to get the dds into their car seats)

Anyway our solution is that dh gets my car out of garage first thing in morning. Moves his car off drive and replaces it with mine (or puts mine in the street if there is space)

I appreciate that this might not work so well if you live on a busy through road in London or something though. (we live in a small cul de sac so no real problem doing this)

I used to get the car out until I tried one day when heavily pg and there was no room! Since then dh has always done it.

brilliant thread

I want one of your tablecloths, KitKat .

i'm going out to buy a table cloth that is long enough for me to hide under

genius

Bouncing turtle - I would actually be inclined to take ds out to the car and sit him in the back unstrapped in whilst you reverse out the two feet or whatever on to the drive. You are travelling so slowly that even if you reverse in to the house he is very unlikely to be harmed. Then you strap him in and drive off. I would do it that way because I am a bit paranoid about children coming out of the house in to the path of reversing cars and oblivious parents. I now the gate keeps him in now but it won't always and if the front door is unlocked? Dh once reversed our car whilst leaving the front door open and with our toddler daughter on the loose - I freaked out totally. I am very relaxed about risk generally and leave my oldest dc alone in the house for hours at a time but cars and toddlers make me nervous.