Getting baby into daytime sleep routine

[Sappholit]

My baby is nearly 10 weeks and I'd really like her to start having her sleeps at predictable times - ie a lunchtime sleep for two hours would be nice.

How do I go about doing this?!!

Stop worrying about routines. Do you sleep/eat/drink/play at exactly the same times each day? So why do you expect your baby to??

Just watch her, pick her up if she whinges, feed her on demand, hold her and nurse her to sleep, and don't look at the clock.

If you want to be able to do "stuff" just put her in a sling and do your washing, vacuuming, make your lunch etc. But don't try to make her sleep at set times, it'll end in tears!

Hear Hear londonlottie!

I have heard comments like GreenMonkies' so many times - both before and after I had my children! We used the GF CLB routines and loved them. We were fairly rigid with our first child, less rigid with our second (due to having a toddler to look after too!) but followed the gist of the routine until our children were about 6-8 months and then they were in such a fantastic routine we just let them get on with it.

Our children are very different personalities - 1st child is really laid-back, 2nd is a little madam! 2nd child also had severe reflux and excema meaning feeding and dressing took a lot longer than it had with 1st child and was also a lot more stressful. We bf both kids (although 2nd went onto hypo-allergenic formula at 3 months due to dairy intolerance) and GF routines worked well with them.

Sorry if this seems like a rant - but it really annoys me how "anti" some people are about routines (esp GF!). My kids prove it works - but only if the parents actually want it to and are really committed to it!

I have to agree with Greenmonkies.

I didn't force any kind of routine or pattern on my DS, I just watched to see what he wanted.

He is BF and always used to fall asleep feeding when tiny, but he worked out how to go to sleep all by himself without me trying, so i don't have to rely on it. It is handy when he is unhappy or teething though

He goes to sleep about 8 now and gets up about 7, he normally wakes once for a quick feed (he is 7 months old now.)

I seem to be no better or worse off than people I know who wanted their babies to be in bed by 7 o'clock from a few weeks old. DS started off going down about 11 when newborn after naps on our knee, he has changed to the earlier time himself, we've just gone with when he is tired. (also went by last poo of the evening for bedtime for a while .

He has 2-3 naps a day which vary in length and depend on whether he is out in the pram or not.

So it can work out not trying so hard for a routine.

I appreciate it may be different if and when DC2 comes along, but I feel more comfortable taking a relaxed approach and responding ot his cues rather than what suits me.

OP wants a routine.

OP if you want more predictability to you and your baby's day then fair enough.

(Whispers) I think the GF book -taking the gist of it, obviously not slavishly fretting if baby wakes up 2 mins earlier than she states in book- is fairly sensible (its not well written, and its tone makes it sound more strident than the content actually is). I used it as a guideline to understand what my baby's day should look like (i.e. how much food/sleep/stimulation does an average baby that is my baby's age NEED). Because I didn't magically know.

With reference to the whole controlled crying hornets nest, I read (or was told by someone, either way I've remembered it as I thought it was great), that there is a massive difference between 'distressed crying and tired moaning'. Obviously (because it is obvious isn't it??) none of us who actually care would leave our child, under any circumstances, doing the former. But 'tired moaning' (i.e. an overstimulated and under rested baby), when you've ruled out everything else and you've got to know them and you know what's almost certainly up is that they are knackered, is different I think.

Got to agree with EffieB (esp that GF tone is much worse than what she is saying) - I have a 12 week old and I've dipped into GF just to find out how much a sleep an average baby needs in the day etc, and I've used her as a very very rough guide.
I'm just trying to put my baby in her cot for daytime sleeps as she is too heavy for 2 hours in the sling at lunch now, but she will not sleep more than 45 minutes. she goes to sleep without being rocked or fed, but wakes after 45 minutes absolutely screaming. She's not really a screamer so I'm finding it distressing and can't leave her. But I feel she's nmot getting as much sleep in the day now. I've only been doing this for a few days but how can I help her stay asleep longer at lunch in her cot?

3-4 45 min naps a day are normal for babies under a year. You look in any parenting guru book and one of the commonest 'problems' is getting your baby to sleep longer than 45 mins - it's a problem because knackered mums want a long baby-free period during the day, but a lot of babies just aren't built that way!

As they move around more and physically mature, you'll find your baby will probably consolidate their naps into 1 or 2 2hr naps/day.

Saint Gina worked for me twice, even though my recent baby was such a clingy demanding baby, still now, but sticking to it worked a treat.

Clueless me, loves these manual books.

She's a baby - soe doesn't have a control panel.

Just think what a tiny percentage of your life will be spent being at a 10 week old human being's beck and call, and relax about it. Fit your routine to her rather than the other way around, or you'll be spending hour s thinking bout and planning her nepa instead of thinking "Oh, the beby's asleep - brilliant, I will read a book/go to sleep/cook dinner/ stare into space/choose preferred occupation"

What Highlander said. Longer naps come with age.

Also, don't get too hung up on self-soothing or settling in a cot - it's a lot of time and effort to teach a baby something it will learn anyway, and very limiting on you if that's the only place baby learns to sleep. Babies love motion and being outdoors though so if you do want to encourage a longer sleep, go for a walk or rock the pram outside by the back door.

2nd Jewelsandgems and all who say Baby Whisperer. I used it as a rough guide and threw out the bits that I didn't need. GF was only useful to get rough times. We also threw out the routine if things were happening like holidays and parties etc...
He still has a bed time routine now at 5 yrs that is roughly the same every night biscuit & drink, play with Dad, teeth & bath (or flannel) story & a song. Works for us as a family like a dream and he is ready in the morning for his adventure.
I had to put my baby brother & sister to bed as a teenager no routine,it was a nightmare.
Sorry,there was a routine of me spending two hours trying to get them to stop playing and get washed, brushed teeth & bed. I went away on a field trip for 1 week and my mum said she was about to have a breakdown due to my Bro & Sis Sorry am I projecting

I got my dd up at the same time each day - 7am for a feed. I then put her down again at 8am for a nap. She woke after 40 mins but I would nurse her back so she had around 1 1/2 hours. The rest of her daytime naps I would just follow her lead as I didn't want to be too rigid or going anywhere might be a nightmare! She generally slept at 12 for 40 mins then 2 for 30 mins then a power 15 mins nap at 5pm. I then put her in the bath at 6pm and milk at 6.20 before sleep when milk was finished - always before 7pm.
After around 6 weeks of this she began sleeping through the night and her naps became more predictable.
She's now 6 months and I'm less strict but she still is quite predictable and I rarely have problems.
Although I believe it all does depend on the baby so if things don't work out then don't worry, it will in time!
it helps to add cues such as putting dc in a sleeping bag for naps and shutting the blind and saying cue word such as "sleepy time"
Good luck!

Lydia12 - I'll probably get flamed but perhaps your LO isn't ready to go down to one nap a day? I found with mine if they were very tired they slept worse, for less time and often woke screaming and grumpy if really tired in early days. My son at 15 months is only just starting to move towards one nap a day. At your babies age, (I think) from memory both my babies were still napping at, 8am ish, 12 and 3pm

Just a thought? It's good they settle easily in cot, my son loves sleeping there but does also nap well in buggy or travel cot if out and about. But generally his naps as others have said were only 45 mins in the early days as Seeker said, once doing more (and weaned) his naps lengthened. I suspect the sling warmth and movement helped your LO before but on the other hand it is good to get your LO used to napping elsewhere apart from on you IYSWIM here...?

i think you will notice more of a pattern from 12/13 weeks,you're nearly there!

Lydia12 have you tried Pick Up Put Down (Baby Whisperer) when she wakes after 45 mins? We found this really worked and after a few days she learnt to sleep longer.

45 mins is the length of the average sleep cycle but it takes a while to learn to go back off into a deep sleep again. Small babies often rouse after 45 mins and don't know how to get back to sleep again even though they clearly need more sleep (screaming etc), so they sometimes need a little help.

Routine rocks.

this is my first post and I want to say thankyou to all the voices of experience on here! My DS is 7 and half weeks and I've been following GF, sometimes strictly, sometimes less so depending on how knackered i feel! I like the theory behind it and a good part of the time DS follows it, but when he doesn't (like now!) it can make you feel down. As a first time mum I had no idea what to do with him and when, so GF helped guide me. Could I ask when I might reasonably expect DS to sleep more at night? A straw poll of friends/family (!) is making me feel like I'm doing it wrong - as their kids slept thru really early (6wks, 7wks, one even at 4wks!!). He's usually asleep by 7pm and we stopped doing the 10.30pm feed as he was so sleepy (and my husband couldn't be bothered to do the one feed I asked of him, huh men!) and he started waking around midnight-1am. After that he goes back to 3-4am feed and then a grizzle at 5am (usually settled by a cuddle for 5mins) and then wakes around 6-6.30am. He naps well during the day. Should I keep trying to wake him for a late feed or let him be? Am I expecting too much?? Please be gentle with your comments, I'm feeling very delicate after too many nights of broken sleep

ben My mum annoyed me so much. She repeated constantly tat 4 children spelt through the night. So much so that Bil gave her a ticket to Canada (to see my other brother) Ye old days women had two weeks in hospital and babies were taken to the nursery at night so Mum could rest. By 2 weeks baby cruelly trained not to waste time asking for milk. Said that my aunt who was 10 when I was born and shared a room with me said she got up in the night to cuddle me and my mum has forgotten this
Another important point don't have the room as cold as they say in the info packs. After night after night waking with him I found he went to sleep when I put him on his tummy to exercise for hours I phoned the SID helpline to be told that babies are warmer when they sleep on their tummy and I should keep the room at 18 degrees. I HAD been keep my baby in a cold room! I got got of bed put warm clothes to go into his room!!!! HE WAS COLD. He slept well after that in a well ventilated but warmer room (about 20 no more) and on his back no problems. Whe he is the right weight get a sleeping bag fab, fab. he still woke up at between 3am -4am but I had naps in the day when he napped so I got into the routine.

Highlander thank GOD someone said it. DS has been doing the 45min thing for months and it seems so common I can't believe it's the heinous problem that all the sleep books make it out to be!

mistressploppy & Highlander you are right. Sorry in print we are not as rational sounding as we would be in 'RL' My mantra was always 'He, we are not staving in a refuge camp in (insert country at war of your choice) he can cry,sleep,eat, be ignored for 10 mins while I do x. He is not in a refuge camp and neither am I.' But we forget when stressed with our lovely new babies.

I do find it hard not to get all frantic about it though

Fanjolina maybe she wants a routine because she thinks she should have one?

We have some really strange unnatural ideas about how babies should behave, sleeping a set times, for set times, feeding according to the clock, not according to appetite etc.

The best basic guide for babies is to carry and hold them as much as possible, if they squeak stick a boob in their mouth and don't stress the little things. They will learn to sleep by themselves, in their own time, there is no need to teach them to go to sleep, just help them to by rocking/feeding/holding them.

Babies just need to be who they are, and each one is different, and will sleep as and when they need to not when a book says they should.

Routines are for dancers.

benjsmum my two only slept through the night from 9 months. Meaning they didn't wake for a feed or 2 or 3am. If that makes you feel better.

I always did a dream feed at 10 or 11pm until they no longer wanted it to be honest.

You're doing great and your baby sounds like he's also doing very well. Those wake up's are pretty normal to me.

• at 2 to 3am

Some babies don't just sleep as and when they need to though which I didn't realise before I had DD.

She would not just fall asleep anywhere and I did have to help her learn how to go to sleep as she was getting into a cycle of overtiredness which meant she was finding it harder and harder to sleep at all and feeding her became quite difficult.

Every baby is different, but routine sorted all of that for us and life became immeasurably happier for all of us.