Getting baby into daytime sleep routine

[Sappholit]

My baby is nearly 10 weeks and I'd really like her to start having her sleeps at predictable times - ie a lunchtime sleep for two hours would be nice.

How do I go about doing this?!!

Remember that you have to teach your baby to go to sleep - we found that introducing regular rituals really really helped, even within the magic three days that BW talks about. So for instance we always say night night to the birds out of the window and draw the blind together, DS always has a cuddler as we are soothing off to sleep and I always sing one of the same two songs - they get instant sleepy eyes. Also during the day if he won't go down, he won't go down, open the curtains, take them off to play and within a short time you'll get sleepy eyes again and they'l be ready - go through the same rituals again so you are consistent with the signals for sleep. However I would say not to have any expectations before 6 months and remember that they are the same as us - sometimes I sleep well, sometimes I don't. But avoid tears at sleeptime, they'll associate going to sleep with negative feelings and you'll set yourself up for long term issues. This is why cry it out is wrong - they may sleep well, but you create anxious kids in the long run. Just ask yourself - if your partner, a friend or a parent was crying to sleep, you wouldn't leave them would you...!? Good luck!

We started routine at about 3 months with DD as the lack of routine was getting very stressful, she was feeding all bloody night long and we never knew when she would need a nap so couldn't plan anything or go anywhere. I'm a routine convert.

At this age it was:
Get up at same time each day - 7
First nap 1 1/2 to 2 hrs later
Second (long) nap lunchtime-ish
Short catnap late afternoon
Bed at 7

When first getting her into the routine we encouraged her in the following ways:

• first we encouraged her to nap at certain times of day by going for a long walk in the buggy - she'd always nod off.
• once nap times were established (about a week later) we started putting her down to nap in her cot - same routine each time - darkened room, quick feed, nappy change, cuddle, shush.

Took about another week for her to be consistently going off to sleep on her own for all naps. If she woke up after 45 mins during her long lunch nap then we did Pick up Put Down a few times and she'd nod back off. A few days of this and she was sleeping for 2 hrs at lunchtime consistently and has done ever since (she is now 15 months and just having one 1 1/2 to 2 hr lunch nap a day).

Once her naps were sorted she started going longer at night between feeds too, usually only waking once at about 3am which was lifechanging for us after having been up 4 or 5 times in the night previously. She slept through at 5 months and has only woken in the night once in the last year. She went through a phase of waking up at 5.30/6am though .

I must add that I thought DD was one of those babies who didn't fit typical routines and got in a huge panic in the early days about her sleep/naps but then when I tried it, it worked remarkably well. And all the guff on here about GF put me off routine when actually for many people it works wonderfully. For us, the key was consistency so DD knew what to expect.

Cheers for that MiniMarmite - I've no problems with bedtime sleeping as she goers to bed most nights ok following a bath and lullaby's between 18.30 and 19.00. Its just daytime naps which I don't think are long enough as she looks tired still - and today she fell asleep on me after waking up at 9. I'll be giving this a go - and walking up to the library to get the book out again - that'll teach me for only reading bits of it when DD was 10 weeks old!

crazycatlady I'm totally going to give that a go!! thanks.
did you have a baby that could only catnap? that's another one of my ishoos...

Yes she was only doing 20 minute stints in her bouncy chair or sling which wasn't enough for her (or us).

good luck, and don't despair if it is hard to begin with. If you're consistent with whatever routine and methods you decide on, have faith and I'm sure you'll have a champion napper before you know it. It can be a pretty exhausting process, but no more so than having a non-napper.

ditto.keep going at it.it does work.it just takes a bit of time.
it seems the day sleep is the hardest thing to get going.but it is a LIFESAVER!in lots of ways.
i never thought it would work, but it did come good.

also.. my LO never woke at 7 and so always had to start day at 6 ( the books all said 7 but she won't do it ) so bear that in mind on timings. you have to go with your babs on that a bit.

Now it's lighter in the mornings my two are waking at 6am

Really liked crazycat's advice. Good stuff there x

Getting them into a routine is a lifesaver.. The only advice I would give is try not to sooth them to sleep put them down when it is their nap time and let them get themselves off to sleep, do this early enough and you don't have hours of rocking stroking etc. and baby is happier as they arn't freaked by it. My DD does have a silly blanket teddy thing that she associates with sleep so I bought her 4..

Like others, I found the Baby Whisperer helpful for reading tired signs and also the 2 hour (ish) awake time. My boy often whinges when put down for a nap and although I used to let him cry (when he'd fall asleep after 5 minutes or so) I've found that stroking his chest and saying shhh to calm him before leaving the room has made things much easier. I do the same techinque when he wakes in the middle of his lunchtime nap, which he sometimes does.

I struggled with routine until about 6 months. It was at this age that DD seemed able to consistently sleep for 1-2 hours. Before this I would just soothe to sleep when she seemed tired - which was anything from 1-2 hrs awake time. At six months her naps were more consistent in length, so we fell into a routine of morning nap at around 9ish (but sometimes as early as 8) and an afternoon nap at 12ish.
Personally I don't think GF is individual enough (and does not really support BF well, similarly to BW/EASY - not sure if you BF but I do so this is prob a contributor to why I am not a fan of these routines) and I would rec Marc Weissbluth's 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' instead which looks at how sleep changes as your baby grows and does not relate it to milk feeding at all! It is far more flexible than GF and helps you understand what sleep your baby needs. You can use his sleep training techniques or not... personally I have used a combination of BF to soothe, but also I have taught my baby to sleep on her own by leaving her alone in her cot (when she was much older than 10 weeks though), we have had some tears but it was the way we needed to do it for both of us. The book was a lifesaver for me and I read it when my baby was about the age yours is now.
Expect sleep routines to change and for a routine not to be really established for a few months.

Totally with Porcupine11.
Gina Ford worked a treat for us and it does seem to follow that a good couple of day naps help to ensure a good long night sleep.
Good luck.

Another vote for the Baby Whisperer, it really helped me with my dd's daytime sleep. Though as others have said, don't get too hung up on anything you read, as all babies are individuals.

Marc Weissbluth's 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' I found useful as a guide to how much my dd should be sleeping and when, and I agreed with him on the importance of sleep, but I certainly wouldn't follow his sleep training methods which I found horrifying.

My DC's have both laughed in the face of the GF schedule. They have however both responded to a gentle persuading into the EASY routine on a 2.5 to 3 hour cycle. I do my own version of shush patting where rather than put DD in her cot I just sit in a comfy chair in her room and hold her and shush pat her until she is in a very light sleep then put her down and just put my hand on her chest and keep shushing until she is away. The crucial bit for me is that she is learning to fall asleep without motion. Only takes about 5 mins of me holding her crying.

She will not however stay asleep for more than 45 mins during the day. She is at least predictable

I'd vote for Rachel Waddilove as is a bit more relaxed than GF. But don't expect too much of yourself, as it takes a while to get a routine properly sorted out. I think mine finally started working at about 4 months, but even then, there were plenty of deviations. I just remembered that DD couldn't stay awake much longer than 1.5-2 hours and plotted around that on the wonky days. Then it gets easier at about 5-6 months when they drop the afternoon catnap and then you only have to worry about the mornings and lunchtime sleep.

DD now 16 months and has one 2 hour sleep every lunchtime, which works really well.

Good luck and try not to worry yourself - 10 weeks is v tiny and things just tend to come together eventually.

Beans33 I read Rachel's book too. Her routines worked well after 4 months, definitely. But her 4 hourly feeding never worked for my boy who was a big hungry breast fed chap. Max gap on feeding was 3 hours for him but her sleep times were good and other fab advice.

I'm loving this thread, great advice on here.

I agree, teaandcakes - she does have a 3 hourly routine for hungry babies (my DD!) as well - plus I always gave her a quick top-up feed before the long lunchtime sleep, which meant she slept through for the full 2 hours or so, rather than waking up a bit peckish. I guess it's all about adapting the routine to fit, but sticking to a routine definitely saved my sanity - even if it did put a bit of a strain on my marriage at times!!! But we got through it and DD definitely now v content and good kipper.

I had no routine & no idea until my step-Mum got me into regular morning & afternoon naps. I found walking in the buggy worked a treat.

We did ease into a kind of routine, but nothing strict or rigid & I fed on demand for 7 months. It was really nice when she got into napping - if she didn't nod off after a feed, or on her own, I'd take her for a walk until she fell asleep.

To this day she has great sleeps in her buggy (now 2.5)

My baby is nearly 11 months, he slept through last night for only the second time in his life. I missed him! (he normally pops into bed with us to get a feed and back to sleep again).

I belive he will sleep through consistently when he is ready/needs to. I don't feel any pressure to get him into a set routine, he is happy as he is. He goes to bed around 10pm (sometimes earlier, sometimes later), wakes up a bit during the night and breastfeeds, wakes up in the morning anywhere from 6 to 8. Two naps in the day (usually, sometimes one), timing depends on what is going on. I am at work in the day, so love to spend some time with him in the evening, and during the night. If I valued uninterrupted sleep very highly I wouldn't have had a baby!

Maybe my version of the book I have is old as the 3 hourly was for under weight babies in my book. Not that I cared I did the same as you and adapted routine.

I think all books are helpful to a degree, you just take what's helpful for you from them. I certainly never lived my life by only one book though for either of my 2 lovely babies. But Rachel's one was very easy to read and re-assuring. Never touched Gina's book at all, after friends telling me not to. But different strokes for different folks and all that.

Gina Ford (lite version!) worked incredibly well for me, great sleep times fitted in with going to baby groups and activities in the morning with the main day sleep being after lunch for 2 or 2.5 hours.

Routine is survival with twins Lottie! I have the upmost respect to you anyway

• for you

I am a big fan of routine, although I know it doesn't work for everyone. Do think that whatever suits the individual child and parent is vital, so there isn't a "right" way of doing it. Just whatever makes for happiness all round in my book! For me, that's a routine. But not for everyone!

Having second baby in June and slightly fretting how I'm going to work it round both of them, but sure will get to grips with it in time. Eventually want them synchronised napping at lunchtime, so I can put my feet up for an hour or so! Live in hope...

Beans - Rachel has a toddler book and at the back is a routine for 2nd babies and how to fit them in with 1st one for certain naps! LOL

You'll be fine. My two are only 17 months apart and after the first 10 weeks when my son settled down a bit (he had colic) then they did have one nap together at lunch. It was great Fingers crossed for you too x