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Parenting

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Original poster

2 under 2 - mad idea or not that bad

38 replies

mrsflux · 13/01/2010 12:44

Ok ds is 9mo and after a rough start to motherhood I've recently started feeling broody. Ds is a very easy going boy and we generally manage pretty well as a family. So my question is, is 2 under 2 madness like everyone says or is it an urban myth that it is horrendous?

Oh and yes I'm well aware ttc takes a while normally!

OP posts:

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NoahAndTheWhale · 13/01/2010 12:46

I had two under two for a couple of months. It was fine .

DS now 6.1 and DD 4.3 and it is still fine

bristols · 13/01/2010 12:47

I had 17 months between my two and yes, it was very very hard work at least for the first six months. Now they are three and nearly two and it's great! I wouldn't have it any other way and they are such good friends.
It's also worth thinking about the fact that you will be pregnant whilst having to care for a baby. It's so different to the first time around

SilveryMoon · 13/01/2010 12:48

There's 18 months to the day between my 2 boys. It's hard work, reaaly hard some days but not unmanageable.
They are now 2.5 and 11 months.
Some days I've thought I've regretted having another, and then something happens to show me I did the right thing.

My biggest bit of advice would be to get some sort of time-table sorted with your dp/dh. My dp does sweet FA where the children are concerned, and that can be quite difficult. My dp has no idea.
It would be a lot easier if I had enough support, but you'll manage no matter what.
There won't ever be a perfect time to have another one, so if you are thinking of extending your family, let nature take it's course and you'll manage.

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moaningminniewhingesagain · 13/01/2010 12:50

I think it is probably hard whenever you choose to add the second baby

My two are almost 21 months apart, DS is 12mo and I look at him and think - god when DD was this age I got pregnant again. On purpose. WTF was I thinking???

But they are very close, partners in crime and best of friends when they are not fighting

And they are both in nappies, I hadn't got used to getting much sleep so it is good in some ways!

norksinmywaistband · 13/01/2010 12:53

I had a 14 month gap, was very hard in the beginning, but now they are nearly 4 and just turned 5 they are best of friends(well most of the time anyway) play together, watch out for each other in group situations and it is really lovely to watch them together

I was lucky as dd adored her younger brother from day one, and I was fortunate that she was mobile and talked quite early as that helped a lot, not sure I would have managed as well if dd hadn't walked til later.

tobago04 · 13/01/2010 12:54

Theres 20mths between my two dd's and i'd say it was hard when dd2 was about one,but now they are 3 and 4 and are best of friends,they really do entertain each other,
of course they have their moments but they are so close,
i'm curretly pregant with number 3 so it can't be that bad
Good luck

girlsyearapart · 13/01/2010 13:05

not that bad (mostly)

have 1 year 3 days between mine.

Both planned but first time lucky ttc with both.

Hardest time was when heavily pg and carrying a non walker then for a few weeks carrying both until dd1 got better at walking.

Another hard time was when dd2 started to crawl so both on the move!

Although it has been tiring I have never regretted it.

currently 11wks with dc3 so all being well we'll have a 22mo a 2.10 yr old and a newborn

MrsWeasley · 13/01/2010 13:07

I have 18 months between DC1 and DC2 and loved that age gap. Then had 21months between DC2 and DC3 but didnt like that gapas much so had 19 months between DC3 and DC4.

Loved having them close together.

spongebrainbigpants · 13/01/2010 13:11

16 months to the day between my two boys - one is 19mths and one 3 months old on Friday. It is ridiculously hard work at the moment and I'm permanently tired - and having said that I'm incredibly lucky cos we can afford to have DS1 in daycare 2 days a week and I have an amazing dh who is a totally hands on dad and helps with everything.

Having said all that, I wouldn't have it any other way and I'm sure in the long run it will be easier!

lambanana · 13/01/2010 13:21

Girlsapart I was the same. There is 13 months between my dd's and dd1 didnt walk until she was 17 months. I seemed to be forever carrying them both everywhere - it was like having twins!

It is much easier now - they are 3 and 2. They seem vey close and I am glad we had them so close together.

midnightexpress · 13/01/2010 13:24

I have 14 months between mine and it is fine. In fact, now that they are 4 and 3, it's great - mine are both boys, so into the same things, best of friends, play nicely and look out for each other.

I think particularly if it's between dc1 and dc2, you don't have anything to compare it with, so you just get on with it.

You don't get the jealousy that you can get with a bigger gap.

The first few months are a bit grim though!

Carikube · 13/01/2010 13:32

I'm pg with dc2 who is due when dd will be jsut under 14 months. Admittedly dd has (mostly) been an easy baby which helps but the main thing so far has been that we tend to keep forgetting that I'm pg. DD is showing no inclination to crawl/walk/move so I don't know if she'll be mobile by the time dc2 comes along but I'm just prepared for the fact that it will be hard work to start with and then get easier as they get a bit older and play together nicely (Carikube says with her fingers crossed)

YoMoJo · 13/01/2010 13:32

i never planned to have mine so close together (20 months) some days - like today are hard work, got very bored & restless toddler but baby bit poorly so dont want to have to take baby out in snow so toddler can wear of some energy. but generally i think it will be easier in the long run.

I didnt, but a lot of my antenatal friends got VERY broody when their dc were around 9 months, we wondered if it was some hormonal thing going on!

Thank goodness for cbeebies is all i can say!

everylittlebeat · 13/01/2010 13:34

I have a 22 month age gap and wouldn't change it. DD1 is 2.3 and DD2 is 5 months now and it's been fine - hard work at times but no more than I was expecting.

If your DS is easy going that will definitely help - DD1 is pretty well behaved most of the time and sleeps very well which definitely helps. She's absolutely loved having a little sister - no jealousy issues at all, which I imagine might a be one benefit of having a fairly small age gap?

girlsyearapart · 13/01/2010 13:46

lamb- just as well it wasn't the other way aroound dd2 has onlly just taken her first few steps at 16 mo and is back to crawling again! at least dd1 was properly walking at 13mo.

alana39 · 13/01/2010 14:18

What Bristols said really. Mine are no 6 and 5 1/2 and now very good friends which has made first few weeks with DS3 much easier as they can amuse each other. No age gap is without its pros and cons so I would just take it as it comes if you can

LadyOfTheFlowers · 13/01/2010 14:20

DS1 was 14m when DS2 was born.

Was fine IMO - but I don't know any different - will have 16m between DS3 and DD1.

Everyone thinks I'm mad, but hey-ho.

darcymum · 13/01/2010 14:25

I had 3 under 3 for a while, it was and still is great. They're 1, 2 and 4 now and its just a permanent play group at my house.

They all sleep quite well though and I think if you get a good nights kip you can cope with anything. Can't predict how the next will sleep though.

annoyingdevil · 13/01/2010 14:27

15mths between mine, and they are the best of friends. They share a room (their choice), and are forever making up little make believe games. They play with the same toys, watch the same dvds etc. etc

DD really looks out for her little brother. It was hard when they were babies, but fab now they are 3 and 4.

darcymum · 13/01/2010 14:28

I did meet somebody recently and she had 3 under 2! Without any twins!

Ran her own business as well!

mama2moo · 13/01/2010 15:42

My dd is now 19mo. I am 38 weeks pg on Friday!!

We too thought it would take a while to concieve so were very shocked when it happened on the first try

The other plus is that you are still in baby mode - Nappies, some sleep broken nights etc. Its defo not going to be a shock this time.

Im not worried at all now and am looking forward to how they will grow together. Dd is very good, talks a lot, understands everything but is still very much a baby in some ways IYSWIM.

Its going to be hard but soon the fun will start. Dc2 is a girl as well so it will be great when they are little older

sweetkitty · 13/01/2010 15:46

18 months between DD1 and 2 wouldn't change it for the world, it's a lovely gap, hard for teh first year but then they play so well together and have the same interests. I wanted a similar gap between DD2 and 3 but fate didn't make it that way so have 2 1/2 year instead and I find that harder than 18 months TBH seems like such a big gap developmentally.

darcymum · 13/01/2010 15:49

come on then who had the closest gap? I'd like to see someone beat my 3 under 2 woman.

JackBauer · 13/01/2010 15:52

I have 19 months between mine, was a bit tricky to start with but they are 2.3 and 3.11 now and starting to play together more and more. It helps that they are at the same stage for a lot of things so they are happy doing things together.
I do feel that DD1 misses out a bit as I gear activities around DD2 being able to do them, like cooking and 'helping' around the house, but she's not missing out on much TBH.

sanfairyann · 13/01/2010 15:59

17 months between mine, I don't regret it but it's the hardest work in the world for the first 6 months if not longer. after that it's a breeze. I loved going to playgroups/singing groups etc with both of them - seemed more worthwhile going with 2 than 1 - and they played together at the parks.
ds2 was a nightmare baby - colic til 16 weeks absolute hell - a shock after ds1 who slept for the first 4 months of life . I can see how having a more laid back baby would make it an easier experience

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