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I am the most stupid mother on this planet :(

107 replies

Neel1411 · 13/01/2010 06:26

I jammed my LO's finger in the morning in the bathroom door . I didnt even check he was there. I am so stupid. Feeling so guilty ....

DH made me feel worse .. said it happens only with me. He always falls when I am around. I think my reflexes dont work on time ... I try so hard to watch LO, but something always happens ... and that too because of me ...

Sorry rant over.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
moodlum · 14/01/2010 11:26

Neel - I'm just going to add to the list of mishaps.

DS - 4 months. I turned my back on the changing table - he fell off. He was fine, after scrutiny in a&e

dd - 18mo found the nurofen bottle and smothered herself in it. Again, a&e, followed by a hasty call from the hv.

and that's just what I can remember. God knows what else happened - but these things do, to everyone.

SparklyGothKat · 14/01/2010 11:34

I am going to add my mishaps too.

DS1, forgot to strap him into the buggy, went to go out the front door and he fell straight out.

DD1 ran into a bit of dado rail that I hadn't finished doing and split her head open

DD2, let her play on a slide at aged 2 (just 2) she went down funny and broke her leg.
She drank Priton after I didn't put the lid on correctly, A&E involved

Ds2 shut his little finger in a door recently, he lost the nail and its only just growing back.

SparklyGothKat · 14/01/2010 11:36

BTW I shut the door on DS2's finger. WOndered why the door would close...

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

SparklyGothKat · 14/01/2010 11:36

wouldn't close

StealthPolarBear · 14/01/2010 11:36

oh dear, i'm still winning by miles
and hes not even 3

SparklyGothKat · 14/01/2010 11:38

I haven't listed everything, I did the nail clipper thing with all 3 of the older ones... I learnt with DS2 that teeth work well DS1 had had 2 lots of stitches in his head, DD1 had the glue on her head, DD2 glue too. Managed to avoid A&E so far with DS2, not sure how as he is so lively

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch · 14/01/2010 12:31

I can't add any more advice than has already been said. Your DH has let you down enormously he has failed you and your DS in some key roles of husband and father!

Everyone knows a happy supported mum makes for a happy baby. So he has let you both down and should be feeling bloody guilty about it all.

You laboured for hours and brought your beautiful DS into the world, despite some problems that were outside of your control, and MIL and DH blamed you for it not being the perfect birth experience?!

You have done absolutely nothing wrong. Children fall over. And actually from a developmental point of view this is often how they learn what they can and can't do. A minor injury now can mean that later on when they try to stretch their abilities too far they are more cautious.

Children wrapped up in cotton wool who are never allowed to explore their world or risk harm do not learn as quickly (because they have fewer experiences).

So (oddly enough) you're being a better carer than MIL because DS is doing some independent learning

Would you consider showing DH this thread to show him how shocked we all are at his actions? Because they really are not normal.

WingedVictory · 14/01/2010 13:42

I have:

  • cut DS's fingers more than once (rather than fingernails, as I ought)
  • failed to keep his head from bashing into doors and walls, either when I was carrying him and he was relatively still (my fault, because I was in control of positioning), or when he was moving about (his fault, but I still might have got there in time - DH thinks so, certainly!)
  • He's gone off his changing table, too, I think twice: once when I walked away, not expecting him to roll (ouch!), and once when he pushed past me and threw himself (he is v strong)
  • I failed to realise his cold had got into his lungs to the extent it had, but DH took him to Children's A&E, and DS was admitted (this was what I meant earlier, about being too stubborn).
  • definitely the buggy straps thing!
  • definitely my necklace
  • headbutting me, which hurts us both (I have had a black eye!)

Just this morning, I almost missed him as he leaped from step 3 of the stairs, to not bother with the final few stairs, I guess... It makes me sweat to think how close I was not to realising what a stupid thing he was doing, but everyone is right about kids learning from their mistakes! Doesn't mean I wish I had dropped him, though!

Wish I had namechanged before that list . Does anyone think SS will be reading this thread?

violetqueen · 14/01/2010 14:11

Neel1411 - I think you should sit down and re read all your posts on this thread.
Something is really wrong and needs to be sorted out.
Your self esteem seems to be at rock bottom - maybe you're exhausted with work,childcare and emotions.
Is there anyway that you caould have a break ?
Anyway that you could find support from friends or other family ?
Think of your son and take strength to take action - as he gets older ,how is this situation going to affect him ?

BlueBumedFly · 14/01/2010 21:34

Neel - I also think the more you worry and panic the more tense you become and the more likely you are to have a mishap. We are far more natural when relaxed, you poor thing, you must be so very stressed and tired.

I also:

  • cut DDs nail to low at a month old and made it bleed
  • banged her head on the bath at 6 days old
  • missed her falling off the sofa at a year and she still has a small dent in her forehead to prove it!
  • didn't catch her as she tripped over my feet and bashed her head on a coffee table and had to be checked for concussion
  • looked away for 10 seconds whilst she got the top off the (empty thank goodness) calpol bottle and spread the last few drops over her face (panic panic)
  • failed to see a chest infection had moved on and she went into hospital with pleurisy

Oh, and caterpolted her out of her buggy last week into the snow as I let her travel without straps (OK, so she is 2.9 but I still felt terrible).

I agree with the others, there is a fundamental issue that needs to be addressed. You are not a terrible mother and you should not waste a single second of this time with your lovely boy worrying that you are. As it is, like me and many others you work and feel that you are missing out on the daytime stuff so please enjoy him when you can and not spend the time worrying.

WingedVictory · 14/01/2010 22:37

DS tripped in his room this afternoon and headed a chest! Has a bump, but no loss of appetite (if anything, big appetite for supper, which is amazing), no apparent headache, etc. I'll check him a few times overnight, though. I think (and hope) this is a rational response, so do take note, Neel!

BlueBumedFly · 15/01/2010 07:25

Neel, accidents happen, just look at the posts. It's how we react to them that is important, like wingedvictory said above. if MIL claims your ds has no bumps under her watch then they must sit on the flooor all days with soft toys only! I suspect it is not true. I suspect she may protesteth too much which will work whilst ds is small but when he can talk and tell you what happened all day things just might change!!

Romanarama · 15/01/2010 07:42

I have no idea how often we've been to a&e with our 3, but it's loads and loads. Including totally stupid things like giving them adult medicine instead of paediatric by accident, playing games with them that were obviously (in hindsight) going to lead to them smashing into tables and needing their faces glued back together. I can't remember who was responsible for all of this - me, dh or nanny - but they were accidents. Nothing worse than blaming each other for things.

Neel, you have a serious self-confidence problem, and that means you can't deal with your h's attitude problem. Not worth trying to change your mil, and I can see how it could be the best childcare option for your ds even if you have to grit your teeth much of the time.

BouncingTurtle · 15/01/2010 07:46

STB - I'm reporting you ;)

Except I have to report myself!

DS has fallen off various beds several times, once off a high divan at my Dad's house(at 9mo) straight onto a laminate floor. What was worse was he fell between the bed and the travel cot, nearly hitting his head on the leg!

Have bumped his head countless times getting him in the car.

Let him go down a slide at 18mo where there was a 6" gap between the bottom of the slide and the floor with the net result he came off his slide and banged his head.

I'm surprised the poor kid hasn't had a concussion!!

I've also cut one of his toes trying to cut his nails.

Neel - I feel so and for you. Your DH and MIL have both been chipping away at your self-esteem and your confidence in being a mother. Your DS absolutely adores you,and that is what counts.

Frankly your MIL sounds positively poisonous. And I bet she did all of the above when your DH was small - sadly she'll have a selective memory when it comes to reminiscing about his childhood

I wish I knew how to help you overcome this. You did NOT need recrimination over your birth experience - you needed sympathy and support. Your DH is being grossly unfair and needs to start acting like your husband and your ds's father, and protecting his family.

pigleychez · 15/01/2010 08:39

Accidents happen... To everyone not just you!

If anything it helps to teach the children about dangers..ie not to out your fingers near the door.

Im my daughters latest case.. not to jump up and down in the bath as you slip, bang your chin on the side of the bath and stick your top tooth through your tongue, leavng a permanent scar!

My dad opened a door not realising that my neice was behind and banged her on the forehead causing a massive bruise.. this whilst my sis was on holiday! He was feeling really guilty but accidents happen.

Please dont beat yourself up over it. Def not a stupid mother! Im sure DH will have his fair share of accidents with your DS.

WingedVictory · 15/01/2010 11:27

Come back, Neel, and save us from our own awful memories! Even though we're admitting these things, it doesn't mean we like to dwell on them (at least I don't), and it's uncomfortable reading for all of us, to see the mistakes we make, even as we nod our heads and think, "Oh, yes, forgot about that one.... Yes.... Oh, dear, yes."

So now that we've established that no-one can be innocent of presiding over heartbreak and headbreak (even sainted MIL, although if she is, as various people keep emphasising, she is de-stimulating your child!), let's go back to how your DH reacts.

You need to find out (ask a GP or health visitor or someone on MN) what sort of counselling is most suitable for your situation, and make sure DH is explicitly included in the type of counselling, as it's unlikely to work without his co-operation.

Once you have found out what there is available, and possibly even have a start date to propose, bring it to DH as a ready-made solution. You have the best chance of getting him to agree if you are pro-active and confident about his agreement. He doesn't seem to be used to your being pro-active, so the different attitude should take him by surprise and he may succumb more easily to your authority because it is unexpected. He may be used to you telling him you are hurt that he would blame you for this and that, so should not be prepared for you to come out with a demand. (Leave MIL out of it for the mo; you are pretending she is not involved). If you are worried about this step, ask the GP/counsellor what legal or moral backing they can give for your desire for counselling.

Meanwhile, if you have any friends with children AND hopefully partners as well, a get-together might be a good idea, with the mothers and/or their partners primed to make comments to DH. Helpful things they might say are:

  • oh, your DS is a bit clumsy. Doesn't he get out to run around? [only if this is appropriate, and I know it's crazy that I'm suggesting someone deliberately say such a Competitive Mother thing about your PFB! and sorry to everyone else who's suffered this. I have, and know it's annoying, but it might engage the DH's ego!]
  • Ooops, Charlie, slow down! You don't want to end up in A&E again, remember last time? (said very gaily to self-destructively rambunctious toddler)
  • (another DP/DH sidles up to DH and starts reminiscing about breaking his arm when he was doing something daring as a boy)
  • Someone engaging DH in discussion about how old a child should be to be given a scooter. (NB - this demonstrates that these parents are not all about A&E, breaking arms and rough play, but also about rational judgement about risks, and sometimes being risk-averse.)

These are just some ideas, and some of them may turn out not to be appropriate, or you may not have anyone around to say them. But they are scenarios every parent knows, and perhaps they will be the sort of thing DH will be asked to confront in counselling. He must be brought to understand that even the lighthearted comment about "Charlie" in A&E is not evidence of parental callousness and carelessness, but a warning, couched in light-hearted words, which reminds the child of danger without paralysing him/her. "Charlie" is given a prompt to act more carefully. There may be times when Charlie fails to react to this prompt, and suffers the consequences again, but if he is continually reminded by his parents to think about consequences (rather than just experiencing them) and act on that judgement, he will eventually learn to internalise that warning system, and that is excellent parenting. Don't let your DS grow up without that teaching.

Did you say you were afraid to take DS abroad? Was that to visit family? If so, you should take that trip at some point, definitely. It would be a good time to bond with DH and DS and try out some of the stuff you have learned in counselling.

Neel1411 · 25/01/2010 12:08

Thanks everyone (especially Winged Victory) for your lovely support! I am so relieved to know I am not the only mother who has done stupid things !! And sorry to have not replied all this while. I was on vacation with DS (yep! First trip with DS alone!) ... I was a nervous wreck but the flight journey was pleasantly easy! DS slept through it and was a beautiful well behaved little boy!!

As about the stay, wouldn't say it was great! But I managed! DS did show a bit of his toddler colors ;) ... but most of it was mainly coz he was a bit home sick and ran a slight temp. Was super clingy (coz he had never met the people before) and refused to eat well ... but I did my best by giving him what he liked to eat. I would rate myself 7 out of 10 :D for enduring a sick toddler in a new place

DH joined me after 4 days and was quick to judge that I cannot control LO. Because DS was upto all mischief and was a little terror in short! Then I was blamed by MIL that I have made him clingy and that I pamper him too much (in 4 days!)! Well ... whatever next!

OP posts:
WingedVictory · 25/01/2010 16:34

Hey, congratulations on managing the holiday! Hope you and DC both enjoyed it....

It was very mean-spirited of your husband and MIL to pick on you about various things, I hope you've proved to yourself that you can manage, and that they are trying to infantilise you with their excessive "concerns".

However, did the time away help you get some persepctive on what you are really like as a mother? That is: what you are capable of when you are not on edge from constant criticism?

Neel1411 · 26/01/2010 05:40

Thanks WV! I did enjoy the stay and actually my mum and grandmum were surprised how I had become so patient after I had a baby! LOL! I had never realized it

OP posts:
kif · 26/01/2010 05:58

Hmmm.

Your DH and MIL sound like maxed out versions of my Dad and Grandmother. My gran ran an enormous campaign against my mum. Refused to eat her food, took clean clothes out of my Dad's wardrobe to rewash 'properly', phoned every man and his dog to share my mum;s latest crimes etc etc. My dad was - in general - supportive of my mum. However, when the push came to the shove he was afraid of hurting his mum (seems to have spent the last thirty years believing her low grade grumbling that she's about to die any day ), and DG ended up living with us.

For a while.

After a screaming tearful row too many my dad moved my gran out to a studio flat around the corner (on condition that she could spend all day every day at our house doing as she pleased).

The upshot is that my entire relationship with my gran (and to a lesser extent my Dad), from when I was very small was built on at her behaviour towards my mum. Which means that by the time I got to my teens, I'd majorly tuned them out. Only speak to my mum now, really.

Now I'm thirty, and my Gran is a more mellow eighty, I regret that we never really managed to become friends (despite the scandal she created about living near her Famileeee). We have a lot in common, and there is a lot to admire about my gran, but the vendetta against my mum has soured the relationship.

kif · 26/01/2010 05:59

Oh, and my mum also became quite 'nervy' under the pressure.

Neel1411 · 26/01/2010 06:37

I am so sorry to hear about your situation kif!! I just dont want this to happen with my LO really. I too am very nervous around LO all the time!! Anyways I have decided to just ignore all the nagging and digging at my self esteem and do what is best for my son and most of all .. do MY best. Hopefully people will start minding their own business when I ignore them!

OP posts:
kif · 26/01/2010 07:09

sorry - my last post seems quite abrupt. I deleted the last bit which was an unpleasant story abou thow my mum was actually far better at spotting when i was really ill (and what to do) - whereas when push came to the shove my gran was all 'theory' on how to look after kids, and not very practical at all.

It sounds as though you're in a better 'place' in your mind now. Look after yourself and your self esteem, because you're the number one person for your LOs wellbeing and self esteem.

WingedVictory · 26/01/2010 09:54

Oh, kif, that's dreadful. And it really underlines how undermiinng a mother can affect a child in so many ways - day to day health of the child and long-term relationships. Ugh.

WingedVictory · 26/01/2010 09:56

oops: undermining

By the way, kif, it says a lot about you that you saw through what was happening and ended up only listening to your mother!

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