going to be a 'bad' mummy later.........

[QueenOfQuotes]

have to take DS1 to his induction afternoon (2nd one - hoping he doesn't throw up like he did last week LOL) at his new school.........thing is DS2 has his sleep at 1pm-3pm - and the induction afternoon starts at 1.30

So I'm going to put DS2 down for his sleep as usual, at 1.30 on the dot grab the monitor, lock the front door and whizz round to the school to drop DS1 off - then whizz back again

So you wouldn't take them in the car, for example?

I chatted with a lady walking back from the second induction afternoon, whose wee boy would be starting at the same time as my ds and who had a slightly older boy already at the school. Dh had described her to me from the first afternoon (which I couldn't make 'cos of work commitments ) as "Guardian Woman" (the dishevelled earth mother type). I recognised her and said "you must the lady who lives in xxxx road" (close to where we live) and then explained that my dh had told me about her (although I didin't say how I'd recognised her ). (Hope she doesn't read Mumsnet !)

The following day, as I was picking up ds from his third and final session, I saw her with her wee boy talking to the School secretary, and saying she had got the time wrong by an hour - she had thought it started at 2.30 and not at 1.30 - which meant that she had one disappointed wee boy, who had missed his chance to meet with his new school mates.

SO it's not just you QoQ - and at least your ds didn't actually miss out on his session at school!

No because I dont drive

and harrietsmommie - you never answered my question - do my boys looked unloved and unhappy or uncared for????

so you take them on buses????

And you were ALWAYS just a wizzened faced FAGHAG Tony. Oh how you used to loveit when I squeaked sweet notings into your ear.

You put on a brave face now but I know you cry into your dumplings every night - ( I forget her name, sorry)

If I've come down at least I WAS UP THERE, you were on my shoulders - I was the GIANT! METAPHORICALLY!!

Anyway, can I take Bob to Spearmint Rhino on Saturday. And this time - ASK HIM!

yes they do look happy, but that doesnt excuse what you're doing tomorrow.

No, I dont take them on buses - we walk everywhere.

you walk!! Do you know how many people are killed by cars coming off the road each year? Compared to 19 month old toddlers sleeping in their cot??

And if they look happy - surely I can't be doing that bad a job to label me a bad mother

and why is taking them in a car an unneccessary danger? Going in a car somewhere is a must if it a long way away. QofQ leaving her son home alone is a potential danger that can be avoided by taking him with her.

Where's the boys dad from QofQ?

My kids are mixed race too.

PMSL - we go from

"you're a bad mother"

to

"where's the boys dad" (who happens to be my DH)

If you're really that interested its not too hard to find out - plenty of references to in here on MN.

your dh, the boys dad, whoever?!?! Just the same.

I didnt want to offend you by presuming you where still together.

Oh, this is just silly now. Harrietsmummy, there are risks to everything, even walking everywhere. QOQ explained that the school was closer to her house than her garden, she has her monitor, she's going to be seconds. She's not going to Falariki for god's sake! Really, this judgemental thing has gone too far. If it makes you feel like a good mum to denounce QOQ like that then it reveals alot more about you than it does her. Sorry.

I wish I was going to faliraki

It's all about risk assessment - and we make our own judgements. As someone (was it Caligula?) has pointed out, there could me more of a risk taking the younger child out? And who's to say what infectious diseases you might come in to contact with . or you could drop him, fall dwon the stiars while carrying him down unecessarily.....

But anyway,, it's a judgement call - and we all make different (not right or wrong) ones all the time - which is really what you were illustrating in your controversial way when you started this (classic!) thread.

For example, despite having two flights in stairs on our house (one quite steep and on a spiral) we have never used stair gates. We chose to teach ds how to go up and down stairs safely - barricading the stairs until we were sure, which in fact did not take very long (and was well in advacne of him walking, which he did quite late).

It meant we never needed to worry about visitng other people who didn't have kids - or when we went to stay in chalets on skiing holidays. And he never fell down stairs and has a good physcial confidence good sense of safety (now 4.5).

But that was our choice and I fully understand why other people prefer to have the peace of mind that stoar gates offer.

What I might feel sad about is my perception of paranoid parenting (as mentioned by Motherinferior) - and feel sad that current society is fostering such fear: but I am not going to get upset at any individuals aobut that.

well not the way that I read it - I read it as - oh you're probably a single mother taking 'risks' (still not quite sure what the 'risks' are - apart from lightening - sun forecast tomorrow, meteors - well even if I was in the house nothing I could do and aliens abducting him).

yea, ok, its up to QoQ what she does. I just felt in the mood for an argument.

No, I did not, and I don't care if u are a single mothers, as single mothers are just as capable parents as two parents together are.

"I didnt want to offend you by presuming you where still together."

So I was right - you thought I was a single mum.............

and also - if we weren't still together - why would I be taking happy photos' of the 3 of them on Friday evening???? Like I said if you're REALLY that interested - it's easy to find out.

NO I DID NOT THINK YOU WAS A SINGLE MUM FOR HEAVENS SAKE! I DID NOT PRESUME EITHER TO BE HONEST.

whatever

where's Suzy???

"Has this thing kicked off yet"???

I think to be fair on Harrietsmommie, she may not have wanted to cause offence by assuming either way - and the question she asked about your ds' dad could just have been an interested one, given that they are so gorgeous - but obviously not white. As she says, her own kids are mised race.

I feel your slightly riled QoQ?