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Parenting

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Original poster

Tell me about your age gaps with 3 children

38 replies

peppapighastakenovermylife · 26/10/2009 08:47

DH just turned around and said he was happy to have another baby if I still wanted another . I am now freaking out

We are trying to decide whether to have another one soon or wait until DS (3.4) and DD (13 months) are perhaps 5 and 3 or both in school.

What gaps have you got and what were the postives and difficulties. We are thinking that 3 together could be hard initially but great long term but it might be nice to have a bit of a 'break' and have a tiny one when they are in school.

I know every family is different but I would love to hear your experiences.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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DiamondHead · 26/10/2009 08:52

When my dc3 was born, mine were 4y3m and 2.

You're right that the first few months were hard. My youngest is 2 now and it's starting to get easier, they're starting to enjoy playing together etc.

My ds1 started school immediately that dc3 was born. The school runs were hard with a newborn but I'm not sure how i'd have coped with 3 at home all day.

Good luck

kando · 26/10/2009 08:56

I have 3 dds aged 8, 6 and 3 (although dds1 and 2 will be 9 and 7 in December). So only 2 years between dd1&2, but 3 years between dd2&3. I didn't find going from 2 to 3 particularly hard (not counting lack of sleep, obviously!), she just kind of slotted in with whatever was going on. She was a fairly easy baby though so that made things easier. That said, dd1 was at school all day so apart from holidays and weekends, I never had all 3 of them together all day, iyswim. Not sure if I would be quite so positive if the age gap wasn't so big. Found it slightly harder going from 1 to 2, hence the longer age gap! Not sure that's much help tbh, sorry!

sarah293 · 26/10/2009 08:58

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mankyscotslass · 26/10/2009 08:59

When my DC3 was born mine were 3.5yrs and 22 mths.

It was hard at first, but you are still in baby mode really so not a huge shock to the system!

The eldest had just started nursery 5 mornings a week at that point and I found it helped to have that structure to the day.

Dogchewsonlimbsanpumpkins · 26/10/2009 09:00

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MegSophandEmma · 26/10/2009 09:02

I have dd1 (8), dd2 (7) and dd3 (2)

I love having three DC, but with dd3 being so young in comparison to her sisters it causes ruptions quite often. DD1&2 like to go off and play together and tend to leave DD3 out.

Also trying to find activities that each will enjoy is usually a challenge.

There are positives too. My eldest two have moments where they love helping dd3 learn new things. DD3 loves enertaining her sisters and often has them in fits of giggles. There are many more positives, but my brain isn't functioning this AM. The girls are all bouncing around the living room as I type

bratnav · 26/10/2009 09:05

15 months between dd1 and dd2 and then a 6 year gap until ds. Ds is onlyy 8 weeks but so far it is a doddle! I have very willing helpers who understand when I can't be availible

Dumbledoresgirl · 26/10/2009 09:05

Yes, go for it now, don't wait until your oldest is at school as you might then be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and it may put you off imprisoning yourself with another small baby.

The age gap between mine is 18 months between 1 and 2, 2.3 years between 2 and 3 (so I had 3 under 4) and then nearly 3 years between 3 and 4 (so 4 under 7)

To begin with, having 3 under 4 was tough but I had also just moved house so I don't know how much effect that had but I suspect loads. When no 3 was 5 months old, no 1 started school part-time and no 2 started playgroup. It was still tough though, but worth it in the end as they all play together even now, 10 years on.

The 3 year gap between my 3rd and 4th seems quite big to me: ds3 seems a lot younger than the other 3 children.

Original poster

peppapighastakenovermylife · 26/10/2009 09:59

Thank you .

My biggest concern with having 3 together is financial and organisational - I have to work. However I have a great flexible job in academia meaning it is easier than most.

With a bigger gap I do worry about the youngest getting left out especially as DS and DD get on so well together.

OP posts:

MrsMorgan · 26/10/2009 10:10

I had a 2yr age gap between dd1&2, and then a 3yr age gap between Dd2&Ds.

I hated the first age gap, but loved the second, it was just so much easier.

cece · 26/10/2009 10:22

When DC3 was born DD was 8 and DS1 was 5 and half, so both in school. It has been great. School run a bit of a rush in the morning and then I can relax, well till 3 o'clock anyway!

becky7000 · 26/10/2009 13:29

My eldest was 2.6 and youngest was 15 months whn DC3 was born. I would say it is really hard having 3 at home but it gets easier (DC3 is now 10 months).

I am finding it hard now as I am 6 months pg but I think if I wasn't pg it would be a lot more manageable, it just means being quite organised each day. However, it does mean that you don't get a lot of individual time with any of them and much time to enjoy the "baby days" so it really depends on what you think you could happily manage and how you want your family to be in the long term ( ie, DCs at same developmental ages or further apart).

thatsnotmymonster · 26/10/2009 13:43

Mine were 3.1 and 22mths when dd2 was born. She slotted in easily and was/is a very easy baby. I would say that year of having a NB a 2 and a 3yo was very hard work but manageable!

ds started nursery when dd2 was 3mths so that was a bit of a break and this year ds and dd are both at morning nursery together so I only have dd2 in the mornings and she naps still. I have/do really appreciate NOT having to do 'school' just yet and that I don't have to do a nursery and school run.

It's adoreable to see all 3 playing together now and it's great that they all pretty much enjoy the same things- they are 4.5, 3.3 and 18mths now.

RollCorpseIntoHedge · 26/10/2009 13:45

There is 2.4 yrs between DS1 and DD and 2.9 yrs between DD and DS2. That makes 5.1 yrs between the first and last.

I find these gaps really good and it helps that DD is in the middle as it lessens the middle child problems. DD adores DS2 and is lovely to him and I am hopeful DS1 and DS2 will play together when the little one is able to run and kick a football but at the moment he just walks and falls over.

Original poster

peppapighastakenovermylife · 26/10/2009 13:51

Becky I am impressed!

The earliest we would start trying would be after christmas (small matter of submitting a phd first and I cannot tell my supervisers I am pregnant a third time during that )

DS would be at least 4.3 and DD at least 2.0. I think I like the sound of those age gaps although I realise it will be hard work. DD is very very placid and happy and DS has really calmed down / amuses himself lately. He will be in school anyway by then.

thanks for all your comments

OP posts:

throckenholt · 26/10/2009 14:00

18 months (well one days less actually).

DS1 was 1 day short of 18 months when his twin brothers were born .

Disadvantages - um - can't remember the first year - it's all a blur. Advantages - they do the same things and have the same friends.

Original poster

peppapighastakenovermylife · 26/10/2009 14:11

throckenholt - argh! You just reminded me of the possibility of twins...

OP posts:

lou031205 · 26/10/2009 14:13

DD1 3.4 (sn)
DD2 1.8
DD3

They are now 3.10, 2.2 & 6 mo. It's hard but good! If DD1 didn't have SN it would be absolutely fine, but with her SN it is like having 2.2 year twins & 6mo.

bruces · 26/10/2009 14:44

DD is 13,DS9 and DD 4 wish the gap between the last two was closer would make my life soooo much easier .

serenity · 26/10/2009 15:01

DS1 was 2.4 when DS2 was born, it was earlier than I'd planned and when I'd found out I was pregnant I'll admit I panicked (he was a very clingy 18mth old) It wasn't as hard as I expected, and now it's pretty good. They're really close and have loads in common.

DD went the other way - there is 3y 5m between her and DS2. He was in Nursery when she was born, so we had time with just the two of us when the boys were in school.

Sometimes, because of the gender and age gap, I think DD sometimes drifts a bit when the three of them are together. The DSs always amuse each other, but although they generally all get on she does get left out (probably more to do with gender though)

I think they're a lot closer than I was with my siblings at that age (4,5 years between me and my younger sister, then 18mths between her and my brother) I mothered my brother rather than played with him iirc.

shubiedoo · 26/10/2009 15:10

Ds1 was just 6, and ds2, just 2, when our third (a girl!) was born in February. It was great to have ds1 in school and into a good routine, and also ds2 was still napping at lunchtime so I got lots of quiet time during pregnancy.

I couldn't have all three at home full time; that said, the summer went better than I had expected, it was nice not rushing out first thing in the morning.

I think the younger two will be closer than the two boys, who are nearly 4 years apart; it's hard sometimes to find things both of them like, e.g. we'll start to put together a new playmobil set but ds2 is still too rough with it.

Just about any gap works I think..! Good luck! I love having 3!

Original poster

peppapighastakenovermylife · 27/10/2009 08:49

Thank you for all the responses. I think I am leaning towards a smaller gap although 3 under 5 sounds scary

OP posts:

SparklyGothKat · 27/10/2009 08:50

I had DD1 when Ds1 was 2.5 yrs, then had DD2 15 months later, 3 under 4 was not fun, its hard work... I had a 6 year gap before Ds2 came along

SparklyGothKat · 27/10/2009 08:52

btw they are now 11,9,8 and 2 its easier now they are older.

natsmum100 · 27/10/2009 15:41

I had a 4 year gap between the first two, then 16 months between the second and third. First two are boys so play together, while second and third (DD), being close in age, are partners in crime.

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