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Parenting

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Original poster

Is Teachers shouting at children .. child abuse

147 replies

Evelyn61 · 26/09/2009 18:21

My child's teacher shouts at her and has belittled her in class. She told her that she will not be trusted anymore.
I think it is very unprofessional and I also think that is it mental abuse. Can you give me any advice please

OP posts:

franklymydear · 26/09/2009 18:53

proper supervision to stop her stabbing another child with a pencil?

she's in school and year 2 fgs - 1 or 2 adults to a class of 30, she should be old enough to be trusted with a writing implement and if not needs to be reprimanded

as I said check out the long term reaction to her if you're concened

franklymydear · 26/09/2009 18:54

give examples of continuous shouting at this pure sunshine and delight child please

alwayslookingforanswers · 26/09/2009 18:55

it does take a lot of pressure to pierce skin with a pencil.

My BF was telling me about her first day back at helping in YR1 yesterday.

First of all she walked into the wrong classroom and announced loudly that she was there to help.

Then she accidentally scratched a girl she was reading to with a newly sharpened pencil - she turned round to put pencil on table, girl stood up and basically walked into it. Cue 5cm scratch down arm - but although it went red it didn't draw blood

Sounds like it was a pretty hard stab if your DD pierced the skin.

I agree that some children think "raised voice" or "cross" is shouting.

(oh and BTW - if you have a DD in YR1 who came home from school yesterday with a mark on her arm saing a parent helper did it - the parent is really really sorry)

Goblinchild · 26/09/2009 18:55

"I am sorry but no person, never mind a child, is pure sunshine and delight.

Is this a wind up?"

No, it's not a wind up. It's a parent who is unable to grasp that others may not view her child in the same light and that any criticism of her behaviour must be wrong. There are many
of them around.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 26/09/2009 18:55

If the shouting is continuous, perhaps your dd should stop stabbing others? Or what else does she get up to - is she one of those nasty, sneaky spoiled brats who nip and pinch other children and then look all innocent?

Heated · 26/09/2009 18:55

How do you know this? Is it from dd? I imagine from dd a cross response would indeed seem frightening and rather intense, especially if a genuine mistake. Why not have a word with the classteacher about the incident and tell her dd's perception of events & her fears? That way you're giving leeway for the teacher to enquire/take a bit of action/reassure dd & you, without you seeming accusatory.

franklymydear · 26/09/2009 18:56

Heated that is wise and measured (mabe not much fun) but wise and measured indeed

Tombliboobs · 26/09/2009 18:57

Proper supervision?

What on earth do you mean by this? How can a year 2 teacher supervise a class of children constantly, every child, every minute?

A year 2 child should be expected to maintain a certain level of behaviour, i.e not stabbing someone with a pencil.

How can you expect your child to know right from wrong when you are happier to lay the blame with the teacher for the actions of your child. What are you teaching your DD?

Original poster

Evelyn61 · 26/09/2009 18:58

I never said she believed it was appropriate, I said they were playing doctor's using pencils as injection's they were all giving each other injections via the pencils only when it was my daughters turn it left a mark on the other child's arm

OP posts:

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 26/09/2009 18:58

It didn't leave a mark, she did.

glinda · 26/09/2009 18:58

Is child stabbing another child with a pencil child abuse?

Evelyn I am interested to know how you would feel if your dd had been on the receiving end of the pencil. Honestly?

Your supervision question also raises issues. Can your daughter not be trusted to use a pencil without someone watching her every move? Perhaps not.

franklymydear · 26/09/2009 18:59

she's a kid, she made a mistake with no malice I'm sure, and she got told off for it which is also quite right

stop making it into a huge deal and teach your child to pick herself up, apologise and get on with it

if you have an issue with the teacher and think it is ongoing over this one incident then talk to her/him

SoupDragon · 26/09/2009 19:00

So your little bundle of pure sunshine and delight was p*ssing about in class playing doctors, not doing her work and stabbed another child with a pencil...?

Original poster

Evelyn61 · 26/09/2009 19:02

well up until now there has never been a problem with her using pencil's scissors knife or forks. She has always been around other children and there has never been any issues or problems

OP posts:

alwayslookingforanswers · 26/09/2009 19:03

I must say though - I'm not a teacher, and I only go into the school once a month to do assembly - however having now got my 2nd DS going through there I do know a lot of the children.

I can sit in my garden and listen to a lot of what is going on.

I hear reception lining up to go to assembly, in nice weather I can hear all of the classes in the library (as they open the door), I can hear the reception classes playing on the outdoor sections near their classroom (not during break time).

Yes I've heard cross voices and children told off may times in the last 5yrs. I've heard children cry when they're told only firmly to "x I told you to STOP doing that and come inside", I've heard children laugh when the teacher is telling them off for the 6th time that morning, probably much closer to cross - and perhaps almost shouting.

There are no sunshine and delight children, I think over the course of 5yrs living next to the school I've probably heard the vast majority of children (including my own) being told off on more than one occasion - even if it's just a stern "stand in the line properly and stop talking".

franklymydear · 26/09/2009 19:03

and now she's stabbed someone hard enough to draw blood - she messed up didn't she? It's called growing up - they make mistakes, it's good they do because that's how they learn

TheFallenMadonna · 26/09/2009 19:04

She stabbed another child and drew blood. She was shouted at. If that's your best example of putative mental abuse, the I would say no, it doesn't qualify.

The 'pure sunshine and delight' comment does make me of this thread though really.

ChunkyKitKat · 26/09/2009 19:07

When I was 6, I can't remember why, but I stuck a pencil down my own throat and had my tonsils out afterwards. I told my mum that a boy in the class did it.

IMO 6 year olds can still make a mistake while playing.

Don't go into the school with guns blazing, just calmly ask them what is their version of events. Then tell them your dd's side of the story. Has she been in trouble before at school for anything similar?

Go to the Head of Year if you feel you cannot face the class teachers.

glinda · 26/09/2009 19:07

Ok, That's great. But you need to accept that she will make mistakes and misbehave now and again - and then she will have to be told off. You are doing her no favours by believing in her perfection.
Your job is to love her "warts and all".

Heated · 26/09/2009 19:07

Lots of sage advice from Frankly...seriously.

Evelyn61, having had a MN take on it, what do you think would be the right approach?

Original poster

Evelyn61 · 26/09/2009 19:09

Absolutely couldn't agree more most of us learn from our mistakes.

OP posts:

ChunkyKitKat · 26/09/2009 19:09

Sorry Evelyn just seen a later post of yours that says you've not heard of a similar incident.

Lulumama · 26/09/2009 19:11

i am amazed your child has got to the age of 6 without ever being naughty or having an incident with a child before

if that is the case, and she has never been reprimanded before, then i am sure she was utterly terrified at a raised voice or crossness

permit a big ol' however

it sounds like you are annoyed your child was reprimanded , when in fact you should be discussing with your child why using a sharp pencil to play with is not a good idea and why stabbing other children as part of play, is not a good idea

Get.A.Grip

your child did something wrong, you need to suck it up and be grateful she did not get the other child in teh eye with the pencil

is it child abuse? no it isn't , get some farking perspective

Original poster

Evelyn61 · 26/09/2009 19:12

My approach to my daughter mistakes is time out and discuss discuss the matter in hand, lastly an apology. Seems to work a treat

OP posts:

franklymydear · 26/09/2009 19:16

you never raise your voice? Or tell her off?

First child is it?

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