Academic parents with very 'average' children - how do you cope?

[whippet]

Without beating about the bush, DH and I are both bright, intelligent, quick-thinking etc etc. Good degrees. Like reading & learning.

DS1 is a chip off the old block(s) - seems to absorb information, and always has his nose in a book. Ahead of peers. Has never struggled with anything (except perhaps team sports!)

DS2 is completely different. Late to read. Slow to understand/'get' things. Doesn't concentrate. Learns something one day and forgets the next.

I love them both unreservedly, but fear that I am a crap parent to DS2, as I simply don't have the patience to do stuff at his pace.

I sometimes have to walk away when he's doing his homework to stop myself showing my frustration and tendency to 'jump in' .

Inside my head I'm thinking "how can you have FORGOTTEN how to spell that when it's right in front of you in the question" or "but we just talked about that".

Aaargh - how do you manage to have any empathy when your child is so different to yourself?

What a great update. I've found this thread via googling in the past due to my worries about parenting DD2. DD1 is only 7 but could read as a toddler and finds school so easy. I worry how to support DD2 to do well at school without pushing her too much or having unrealistic expectations. It's so good to hear how well your second son is doing and how you found his learning style.

oh my god - what a great update and what a blast from the past. How brilliant to get such a clear perspective on his skills and difficulties and help him find out how to use things that work for him to push through in the areas that interest him.What great, attentive support you gave him. its so nice to read plus all the other updates and names from years ago.

christ though - what a pompous ass i sound. i think i meant well but lord above..sorry!
i really did learn that academic ability didn't equate to happiness and i figured that out while struggling to accept that DS2 would always have his struggles and worrying that i wasn't going to be a good enough parent to help him. i wish id said that with sounding so patronising
As it is he's still here living with us but has a fantastic, challenging, brilliant day placement and remains incredibly happy - we're really luckyDs1 discovered journalism at uni and does that now, DD hated uni and is at an acting school and borderline blissful after some tough teenage stuff. They found things they love and I'm really grateful for that.

Wasn't around when this thread started as DS was -8ish yo (he's in Y1 now) and wondered why it had appeared thinking zombie thread but just read as far @Whippet update and it's lovely.

Nice to hear how your ds2 is doing @Pagwatch I have wondered at times over the years. My ds1 had some really difficult times but now lives in his own home 5 mins from us with 24 hour 2:1 support (enough of that provided by me for him to get very bored of seeing me 🤔) [feel free to dm if the name change is mysterious).

My middle one is at drama school - it does look a lot more interesting than uni 😂

Hmm, did you have a PJ and/or saintly username at various points, Sindonym, or am I thinking of someone else?

That’s me :)

Then I’m so pleased to hear your update(s) too. I remember that your family really went through the mill and I hope the near-home situation continues to work out.