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Parenting

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Original poster

Quick question re toddlers and dinner

33 replies

littleboyblue · 19/08/2009 17:46

I have given ds1 (2yo) something new fr dinner. He won't touch it, should I now cook something I know he will eat or leave it as he hasn't even tried food?

I know he's only 2, and I don't want to be mean and starve him, but at the same time, I don't want him to think that I will spend forever cooking him his own dinner if he doesn't want what the rest of us are eating.........

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moondog · 19/08/2009 17:50

Just ignore his refusal and do not ever go down the road of cooking separate stuff. If he is hungry, he will eat. Simple as that. Don;t cajole, bribe, wheedle or complain.

dizzymare · 19/08/2009 17:51

I agree with moondog

Peabody · 19/08/2009 17:53

I don't, sorry. I don't see why children shouldn't be allowed likes and dislikes the same as adults. I don't touch brussel sprouts now that I'm grown up and I won't be forcing them on my kids either

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Spoo · 19/08/2009 17:53

I agree with MD too. Next time when you try something new put something else on the plate you know he will like e.g. fish pie (new) with carrots on the side, that will ease you guilt next time and ensure he eats something.

Bleatblurt · 19/08/2009 17:53

I disagree with them.

If I tried something new and didn't like it I wouldn't be made to go hungry. I'd offer something quick and easy like cheese on toast.

Original poster

littleboyblue · 19/08/2009 17:53

Thanx moondog that's what I have been doing.....it happens alot.

Should I still give him his fruit after?

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LilRedWG · 19/08/2009 17:54

Totally agree with moondog. DD (3) gets her dinner. If she asks to leave the table before trying or finishing eating we just remind her that there will be no treats until the next meal.

She always has access to fruit and the occassional yoghurt in between meals and that's it. The threat of no treats usually focusses her mind sufficiently.

Spoo · 19/08/2009 17:55

I would still give him his fruit at his age. My DS HAVE to at least try the food before they are allowed pudding.

LilRedWG · 19/08/2009 17:55

Ah - but he's not even trying it, he just being obstinant.

moondog · 19/08/2009 17:55

Noone is forcing anyone to eat anything. If you don't like it, leave it. There are usually three or four things on a plate anyway so highly unlikely kid will reject them all.

We had hamburgers, chips and salad tonight. Ds only wanted a fried egg and bun and a few chips. That was fine. I didn't ram salad or the hamburger down him.

Original poster

littleboyblue · 19/08/2009 17:55

Thanks everyone else.

Peabody I see what you're saying and agree to an extent, but my eating habits and diet are shocking and I think that's because of how my parents handled dinner. Meal times were made quite a negative experience for me and I don't want to do the same iyswim.

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Bleatblurt · 19/08/2009 17:57

But there's LOADS of new stuff that I've had on my plate but the smell/texture puts me off even trying it. And I'm an adult who should know better.

Original poster

littleboyblue · 19/08/2009 18:01

Butter Yes, he likes potato but only in birdseye waffle form, he likes fish but only in finger form. But he cannot eat fishfingers ande waffles forever.

I'm starting to think I have failed him

Hopefully it's just a phase

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Bleatblurt · 19/08/2009 18:04

Ahh, you so haven't failed him. My 20 month old is in a noodles and yoghurt phase. Not together thankfully!

Before we know it they will be strapping teenagers eating everything in the house!

Original poster

littleboyblue · 19/08/2009 18:07

I hope so.

My parents used to make me sit at the table until I'd eaten all my dinner. If I didn't eat it by bedtime, I'd go straight to bed. My mum says that it got to the stage where she put my plate infront of me and I asked straight away if I could just go to bed!!

When I weaned ds1, I made all purees at home. When he started teething, he went off home cooked food and would only eat jars, so that's what I fed him. Jars. The when we moved onto self feeding, I was pregnant again and lazy so I just did what was easy which was bung fish finers and the like in the oven

I am determined not to go down the same route with ds2

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moondog · 19/08/2009 18:09

If you feed kids processed pre-digested stuff like waffles and fisfingers, thne of course that is all they will eat as it is low effort bland food that all tastes the same. Sorry to sound snotty but it is invariably the case when people complain about their kids only eating certain things

'Yes, because you are feeding him processed crap!'

Bleatblurt · 19/08/2009 18:10

My parents wouldn't let me leave the table until I'd eaten all my dinner. They stopped doing that when one day they found sausages etc down the back of the radiator/under the fridge/back of cupboards.

Original poster

littleboyblue · 19/08/2009 18:14

moondog I know
My problem now, is how to get out of it!
I am well aware that our problems with mealtimes are all my fault, I know that, but I am trying to get out of it

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moondog · 19/08/2009 18:15

Just stop doing it and cook some proper food. Doesn't have to be complicated or fussy.

Original poster

littleboyblue · 19/08/2009 18:19

I have been cooking proper food now for a while. I still give him the crap a couple of nights a week, but mostly I've been trying to do it all propewrly.
He will eat my cottage pie and spag bol which is good, but wont even try lasagne, fish dishes, anything I do with chicken.

I do feel really guilty about what I have done to him. I will always feel guilty of going the easy route because I was pregnant, we had moved, and I was lazy and undomesticated.

If all I offer is proper food, he will soon see that he needs to eat it won't he? I don't want him to go hungry......

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moondog · 19/08/2009 18:23

Don't feel guilty, that's no good to anyone.
Just remind yourslef that you are in charge and cook what you like,not in a way that bullies and belittles him but in a way that says 'This is what is on offer to us as a family tonight'. If you don't like it, that is absolutely fine but I will not be bobbing up and down making different things for different people'.

Re the waffles and stuff, if you feel bad about the processed food, why not just give eggy bread or a sandwich or a jacket potato with cheese when you can't be bothered to cook?

Spoo · 19/08/2009 18:24

Agree with MD here you shoudl start cooking 'proper' food for him. I am amazed at how fickle kids really are. One day they hate what I offer and the next day they eat it as though they are starved. I do have fish fingers for the kids once a week. As I said before, try and mix the new with the familiar, so you might try roast chicken with potato waffles so at least he will eat the potatoes at least. Then I would suggest he eats one mouthful of the chicken prior to having pudding. If he doesn't then no pudding. I have no objections to my kids leaving something on the plate if they have tried it and do not like it. I also do not with hold pudding if they have eaten the majority of their meal and have tried everything on the plate.
My dad used to force us to finish everything on the plate and I do not like that idea and agree that it can cause horrendous issues later in life.
Another thing I do with mine is try to ignore them once the food is in front of everyone. I have found by ignoring the protests, the protester suddenly goes quiet and then starts eating.
Give it a go please!

juuule · 19/08/2009 18:25

My 9 children have always been offered different types of food. Some have liked it, some haven't. I do cook different meals for them depending on their preferences. At different stages some would only eat mostly 'processed crap'. Some of the younger ones are still at that stage. But I have found that as they get older they broaden their diets and eat almost everything. My 22yo will eat anything now despite being very picky between the ages of 5 and 14. I wouldn't get too hung up on it.

Original poster

littleboyblue · 19/08/2009 18:25

Thanks md

Ds1 doesn't like bread. I have tried white, brown, best of both, pitta, naan, crusty, you name it. With butter, without butter, with jam.......he just pushes it away.
For lunch, he normally has crackers or pasta dishes

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Spoo · 19/08/2009 18:26

X posts - didn't realise he was eating spag bol and cottage pie. I am sure as you keep going he'll eat more stuff and you will end up with a good little eater.

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