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Parenting

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Original poster

Is 22 months too young to be left at a birthday party?

40 replies

HeadFairy · 02/08/2009 15:42

My sister has very kindly offered to take my ds to a party he was invited to this afternoon as I'm at work and dh has some work he needs to do at home. She's a bit hungover from a party she went to last night so she's left ds there (with her dd, his cousin - she's three and they go to the same childminder) Most of the children going to the party will be from ds's childminders, and I even think the childminder is there too, though I'm not sure about that.

He'll be ok won't he? He's very clingy at the moment. Ok so I'm pg and he's my pfb so be kind. Have you ever left your similarly aged dcs on their own at a party?

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Original poster

HeadFairy · 02/08/2009 15:42

Sorry, posted a bit hastily. Meant to say my sister has left ds there with her dd while she goes home and has a lie down.

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VinegarTits · 02/08/2009 15:45

Sorry but yes i think he is too young to be left there alone without you or your sister there to supervise him

Original poster

HeadFairy · 02/08/2009 15:46

I was worried I was being too precious. When she originally offered to take him I thought she'd be staying there. Should I ring her up and ask her to stay? I know she'll have a right go at me... to be honest I don't have a lot of sympathy, she went to bed at 3am, she's got two dds who are always up at 6am. What on earth was she thinking of?

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Dragonesque · 02/08/2009 15:49

I think it's too young. If it was me hosting the party I would be pissed off that people had left such young children, it's an extra responsibility.

ChasingSquirrels · 02/08/2009 15:49

If I were throwing the party I would be majorly pissed off at someone leaving a 22mo. Actually I would say that they couldn't.

Meglet · 02/08/2009 15:50

I think he's too young to be left as he still needs supervision. I haven't and still wouldn't leave a child that young at a party on their own.

Original poster

HeadFairy · 02/08/2009 15:51

Really? Oh God now I feel really bad. I'm totally powerless as I can't exactly leave work and go and get him. Dh really really really needs to get some work done as he's having an op next week and needs to clear up some things before he goes off sick for 6 weeks.

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Original poster

HeadFairy · 02/08/2009 15:51

Oh shit, now I'm really worrying.

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moondog · 02/08/2009 15:52

I can't fathom that someone would leave a not yet 2 year old unattended. I was pissed off at people leaving 3 1/2 year olds unattended at my ds's last party.

moondog · 02/08/2009 15:53

Can't believe stuff to do in the house is more important than looking after yuor child.

VinegarTits · 02/08/2009 15:54

i think your sister is irresponsible tbh, if she knew she had children to look after today, why did she stay out till 3am getting pissed? You are not being pfb, i would be mighty pissed of if it were my dc, and she left him with strangers because she had a hangover

nellie12 · 02/08/2009 15:54

I think its too young as well. If she were my sister she wouldn't get the chance to have a go at me as she wouldn't get a word in. When she offered to have them it was on the understanding that she would be there to supervise if she didn't feel up to it she shouldn't have taken him.

LIZS · 02/08/2009 15:56

Sorry too young imho , who will change him or supervise him.

Meglet · 02/08/2009 15:56

Can't you tell your sister to go and stay with him? She won't die of a hangover at the party.

Original poster

HeadFairy · 02/08/2009 15:56

It's not stuff to do around the house, it's work, as in his job. He hasn't got enough time to finish it all, he's going to be working all night as it is. He wouldn't have left him with my sister if he'd known she was going to leave him there, he can't get back there now for an hour as he's gone in to the office.

I've texted my sister to see if she's actually left him there or if she's decided to stay with him. When I asked her last week she said she wouldn't leave her dd there alone as she'd never done it yet (her dd is three) so perhaps she's had an attack of common sense and decided to stay.

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ilovetochat · 02/08/2009 15:57

who do you/your sister expect to change his stinky nappy? even if the childminder is there its not her responsibility.
i wouldnt want someone hungover driving my dd round and i think you should fetch your dc back home.

Original poster

HeadFairy · 02/08/2009 15:58

Phew! She's still with him, she's asked if she could leave him for an hour. I haven't replied to her text yet... if his childminder is there, do you still think it's wrong for her to leave him? He adores his childminder and she will definitely look after him as the feelings totally mutual.

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VinegarTits · 02/08/2009 15:58

And the fact that the childminder might be there is no excuse, she is off duty, your sister cant expect her to supervise a 22 mth old and a 3 year old. Ring her and tell her to get back round there.

PinkTulips · 02/08/2009 15:59

never mind her having a go at you, you should be giving her a right telling off.

not only is he too young but just dumping your kids at a party and walking off at those ages is rude as hell to the party organiser.

i'd send dh there to be with him, sod the house!

VinegarTits · 02/08/2009 15:59

Sorry x-posts, glad shes still there

Meglet · 02/08/2009 16:01

If that was my sister I'd leave her there to suffer, it would serve her right for getting so bladdered.

Is she driving though, she probably shouldn't be driving if she's not with it? If not a walk in the fresh air will do her good .

traceybath · 02/08/2009 16:04

Blimey i haven't left my 4 year old yet.

Was at a party where parents did leave a less than 2 year old. My friend the host had had twins 3 wks previously as well as having a 2 year old whose party it was!!

Definitely make your sister stay or tell her to bring your DS home. So not fair on the host who i imagine would be utterly shocked if your sister tries to leave without the children.

Original poster

HeadFairy · 02/08/2009 17:06

Ok, sorry, work kicked off big time... my sister texted back apologising, saying she hadn't realised I didn't want him left on his ow. Odd though because when I spoke to her earlier in the week she said she wouldn't have left her 3 year old on her own, so why did she think it was ok to leave both of them on their own. When I mentioned that her 3 year old couldn't change ds's nappy she said she hadn't thought of that and despite leaving for ten mins to get the paper, she went back to stay with him.

I wasn't sure if I was being precious about him, but I did feel uncomfortable at the thought of him being left on his own. It's really not dh's fault either, my sister had promised to take him to the party so he could get work done (nothing to do with the house, it's really important stuff for his work, big contract which is being wrapped up this week, he's totally snowed under) and he had no idea she was going to leave ds at the party.

Still, it's all ended happily as far as I'm concerned. DS is apparently having a great time, dh is working hard, my sister's nursing her headache with a glass of wine (she's not driving, the party is walking distance from her house)

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Original poster

HeadFairy · 02/08/2009 17:13

On a side note.. I've not done many parties with ds yet, I've been to a few but always stayed with him because they've been the parties of family members or close friends children so I stayed to help and be sociable with them as much as stay with ds. However, at my nieces 3rd birthday party, loads of parents left their children with us... we're a pretty close knit group, the children have mostly known each other since birth as they're NCT chums or family friends. We had an entertainer and all the adults made sure each of the children ate properly and had enough to drink. Most of them were 3 and above though so a bit older than my ds.

My question is though, is it not the done thing then to leave children at a party. We've always assumed that the parents will appreciate a couple or hours quiet time. At my other nieces party we had 15 4 year olds and only three parents stayed. We had plenty of other adults there to help. Probably a 2:1 child to adult ratio.

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HappyMummyOfOne · 02/08/2009 17:42

All the parents seem to stay at school friends parties and they are all 6. I think its easier on the host not to have to worry re other peoples childrens plus its probably not worth leaving due to travelling as the venues aren't local with being semi-rural.

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