Is 22 months too young to be left at a birthday party?

[HeadFairy]

My sister has very kindly offered to take my ds to a party he was invited to this afternoon as I'm at work and dh has some work he needs to do at home. She's a bit hungover from a party she went to last night so she's left ds there (with her dd, his cousin - she's three and they go to the same childminder) Most of the children going to the party will be from ds's childminders, and I even think the childminder is there too, though I'm not sure about that.

He'll be ok won't he? He's very clingy at the moment. Ok so I'm pg and he's my pfb so be kind. Have you ever left your similarly aged dcs on their own at a party?

I wouldn't consider leaving either of mine at a party (3.4 and 1.4).

Headfairy - glad it's all sorted, and your ds wasn't left. 22 months is still a baby, and you cannot expect an off duty child minder to look after him.

Next time go with your instincts, don't worry about being too 'precious'.

Thanks Belgo, will do. DS has been talking about the party all week bless him and I felt so guilty that I had to work and couldn't take him and then dh was desperate to do some work so that he'd actually get to bed before 2am tonight so my sister's offer seemed perfect. Plus we'd bought a really sweet present!

I guess in future we'll be staying at parties... I don't mind actually, quite like them. A great excuse to eat those iced rings and midget gems!

Basic rule of thumb for leaving at a party - school age or over. Certainly not before Reception year.

yes.

(unless hosted by a very good friend of yours who explicitly offers that you can leave your pre-schooler unattended)

That's etiquette in my 'manor' anyway

I agree with hmc. Has to be school age to be left. If it were my party I'd say not to any child under this age being left. I would never expect my childminder to look after my child unless being paid as part of our agreement .

22 months seems very young to me. Mine wouldn't have been happy to be left at a party until well over 3, or even 4.

If his childminder is going to be there as well, it's different as she's somebody he recognises as a mothering figure. Even having his usual co-mindees might make it OK for him.

I wouldn't have really expected my childminder to look after him in any official capacity, but she's kind of like a member of the family. She calls herself as his third granny, and she would have insisted on looking after him.

Having said that, I guess it sounds like it's not really on leaving young ones at a party. It's odd that all my sister's friends were happy to leave their dcs at her house for my nieces birthday party. I guess different rules apply around here. Still, I agree with you lot, definitely don't feel comfortable leaving him under the age of 4.

DD went to her first party where she was "left" recently - she's 3.10. It was a small party with about 6 children in a house and her mum had explicitly asked what we wanted to do. I was surprised DD wanted to stay on her ownbut she had a great time

Am expecting parents will leave children at DD's party in September but am happy either way. Generally ppl stayed at DS's parties until 5th birthdays though.

Hired help is hired help.When they are off duty, don't expect them to do things for the love of it [or your child].

My friend insists that her mother's cleaner 'adores' her dd. Yeah, right.

agree with Moondog. presumptuous to assume without asking that CM would be happy to be in loco parentis/change nappies etc at a weekend party.

Big difference imo between a 22 month old and a 4 yr old. I know plenty of 4 yr olds who have been left and spent the entire party in tears (and the same parents leave them at every party they go to and other parents have to sort them out). I wouldn't have dreamed of leaving ds at 22 months unless I delegated his care to another adult I knew and trusted and had a very pressing reason why I couldn't stay (can't actually think of one).

I would never dream of leaving him and assuming that someone else would look after him and not his CM (unless I had arranged to pay her).

Round here, definitely school age or over before they're left.

Possibly, possibly a sensible 4 y.o preschooler if and only if the child knows the parents throwing the party and it has been discussed prior to the day of the party.

As a parent of the party child, I would far rather have a kitchen full of adults drinking my wine than a house full of unaccompanied children on my watch.

TBH I've been pissed off when DS's friends have been left at soft play area parties and I've been expected to take them to the toilet, tie their shoe laces, oh and they've asked me for money for the football games - and these have been 6+ children. I don't mind if the parents ask me but the assumption that I don't mind annoys me - also it is also the parents of the worst behaved children who leave them.