What would disappoint you about your children?

[fizzybottles]

I want my children to be happy and to be whoever they must be. My love for them is fairly traditionally unconditional.

However, I would feel disappointed and somewhat a failure if my children do not grow up to be kind. That's desperately important to me.

(I'm kind of hoping they have a broad taste in music, too).

I would be dissapointed for my children if they didn' live with someone who really loved them exactly as they are. I don;t think I could keep quiet if they ended up with someine who didn;t make them happy about themselves.

I think I'd be really dissapointed if they didn't feel some responsibility to do what they can about the planet - recycle, appreciate resources, think about where food came from etc

Oh MY god.

I;m a hippy.

I don't have children yet either, but if/when I do, I hope that they don't grow up to be:

• Completely socially mal-adjusted (having spent the whole of Satruday evening with someone who has no social graces, it is terrible, for them and other people)
• Racist/fascist/homophobic: would totally break my heart
• Closed-minded
• Unable to cope with things life throws at them. I would want my children to be able to turn around a situation, and not just wallow in self-pity and regret. That would drive me crazy.

I suppose it is slightly different for me as my ds has ASD.

The word disappointment would not be relevant to my fears. I am terrified that my ds will never grow up to be able to manage independently.

I would also be very sad if dd ends up in an abusive relationship of any kind. I hope I will make her strong and happy enough to be able to tell the difference between a good person and an arse. Sadly it took me a long time to get there. I hope she starts out with it.

sunfleurs I don't think DS2 will live independently. I've really only recently come to that realisation and it's a tough concept. But I can imagine him being contented, and I think it may bring us closer as a family generally.

I would be disappointed if my DS needed therapy hmm

I would be disappointed if:
they felt about me the way I feel about my mother
they joined the armed forces
they were the victims or perpetrators of domestic violence

There isn't much they could do to disappoint me - i don't really care what they do as long as they want to work for a living (not deliberately live off the state if they can help it) and be decent to people.

If they joined the BNP, or some anti gay / pro life group i would be gutted though

I will be disappointed if dd's turn out to be selfish, shallow, mean women. I'll be disappointed if they do not respect themselves, are reckless with their bodies and make poor choices with regards to their relationships (friends as well as partners).

I hope they will be kind, compassionate and tolerant of others.

I would be disappointed for dd (not about dd) if she encountered a problem that held her back from living her life to the full:

ie depression or anxiety or a bad relationship

Like ILovePudding, I too hope she will be kind, compassionate and tolerant of others (particularly important if she is going to remain a single child).

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Do you really think you can take that much responsibility for how your DC turn out, Pitchounette? So anything they do that is quite wrong (not talking hideously wrong like murder, just fairly common in annoying selfishness wrong) -- that would be your fault?

I hope ds will be happy and healthy and kind and all that.

Would be disappointed if he became a selfish, get rich quick and sod everyone else type. Or had no social conscience.

Bit judgmental but I would be disappointed if my DDs grew up with the career aim of marrying money / becoming WAG-type.

sunfleurs
my DS2 will never live independently.
I don't find that terrifying.When I gradually realised as he got a bit older I used to find it sad but now it is just the way it is.

My comments about my DS1 and DD having to manage how they oversee his adulthood when i die is my biggest concern. I wantthem to balance their needs with his and not allow his needs to take too much priority.

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I shall be disappointed if they aren't lovely to their old mum. Especially DS#1 as he has promised to buy my a big house when he gets rich.

Ah, you can teach them, Pitchounette, and you can lead by example, but what if they choose to ignore your teachings? Or do you reckon if they don't absorb those fundamental messages very deeply that it's somehow parental failings?

I'm playing devil's advocate, but I also have 4DC and they all come with such distinct personalities, I reckon there's A LOT about them and the lives they'll have that I don't get to decide or control. That may even include some of the fundamental things about human decency.

i will be disapointed if dd keeps her hair long past the age of 35, lives alone in flat with 4 cats, and drives a small car with fluffy animals on the back window and a sticker that says 'if you can read this you are too close'.

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I will be disappointed if my baby grows up to be one of those gormless-looking people who always has their mouth hanging open.

i would be really disappointed for them if they couldn't see how truly special and loved that they are.....i would hate them to suffer from low self esteem.

also if they grew up to be then school bullies/bitches i would be horrified....